“Oh scrap,” Human Friend Steve muttered as he stopped dead and commenced the stationary swaying that substituted for stillness in humans.
“This,” Commander Triclick said in the lowest voice he could manage, “is an intervention.”
“Seriously?” Sergeant Smithson said with a laugh. “Steve here doesn’t even drink. How could he possibly have a habit bad enough to warrant an intervention?”
“I have bad habits,” Human Friend Steve protested.
“Enough!” Commander Triclick said waving a wing for silence. “Human Friend Steve, please enter the focus of the flight circle.”
Human Friend Steve seemed to ponder bolting for a moment. The commander’s use of the informal name clearly meant that was not an order, but the human suddenly went limp and slumped forward into the circle of the Winged soldiers. Sergeant Smithson glanced around and then strolled out of the room whistling cheerfully.
“Traitor!” Human Friend Steve hissed after him.
“Human Friend Steve,” Triclick said fluttering forward, “please catch me.”
Human Friend Steve held out his hands with a sigh and the Commander landed in them, letting his full weight fall on the human’s palms. He opened his eyes wide, and revealed as many of his teeth as he could in a grin.
“What’d I do?” Human Friend Steve asked.
“Human Friend Steve,” Triclick began carefully. “We are concerned for your health.”
“My health,” Human Friend Steve said, glancing around the circle of the winged.
“Indeed,” Triclick said, bobbing his head up and down. “You are not getting enough deep sleep and you are deprived of oxygen.”
“How do you figure that?” Human Friend Steve asked.
“We can hear you sleep apnea from the other side of the base!” interjected one of the winged at the far side of the circle.
“I don’t have sleep apnea!” Human Friend Steve insisted. “And I don’t snore! I-“
The lights suddenly went out casting the room in darkness and a sphere of light formed in front of the human.
“Please watch and listen Human Friend Steve!” Triclick insisted.
Human Friend Steve sighed and watched as an image of him sleeping in his hammock started to play. Sure enough the sound of snoring started up.
“What?” Human Friend Steve gasped as the recording played.
The snoring grew to a crescendo then broke off as the figure in the recording stopped breathing for a moment, then rolled over and went back to sleep, when the snoring started again.
“Okay, okay!” Human Friend Steve sputtered. “So I snore a little. What’s the big-“
“Your snoring vibrates my horns at night,” Triclick said firmly. “We took a vote. Ninety-seven percent of the Winged can’t sleep while listening to you suffocate multiple times a night. If you will not take flaps to remedy the problem for you own sake do it because you are keeping the rest of us up at night.”
Human Friend Steve sighed and shook his head.
“Okay, I’ll get the dang nose straps,” he muttered.