Humans are Weird – What’s Your Poison
         

​       “This species alone could move this planet into an entirely different classification,” Quilx’tch was saying with delight. Look at that protein profile. Why, even the Hellbats could draw sustenance from this plant with little effort.”
“So what’s the poison?” the human asked idly as they stared at the glowing display of the flower on the screen.
Quilx’tch turned to regard the human, awaiting further clarification. The human was intently studying the corolla however and the seconds ticked by well past even Trisk standards of politeness before the human noticed that Quilx’tch hadn’t responded yet and glanced down at him. The human’s face was expectant the nutritional anthropologist realized.
“Forgive me,” Quilx’tch said. “I do not understand the question.”
“What poison does the plant carry?” the human asked, gesturing at the delicate flower on the display.
“I have just listed off its entire nutrient profile,” Quilx’tch stated in confusion. “There is nothing in that plant that either your specie or mine would find poisonous.”
“No poison?” the human asked, his expression broadening in surprise. “None at all?”
“No,” Quilx’tch replied after letting the normal six seconds pass by. “Why would I suggest a plant known to be poisonous-”
“But with a nutrient profile like that. Just so much good stuff all in one place-“ the human interrupted him and then paused with a frown. “Oh. Is it fiber then?”
“Did you just interrupt yourself?” Quilx’tch demanded after a moment.
“What?” the human asked, staring at him, the soft, fleshy eye coverings shuttering rapidly over his eyes.
They stared at each other in confusion a moment before Quilx’tch gave up.
“Fiber?” Quilx’tch fixed on the last item that made some sense. “Yes. It has the normal amount for a terrestrial species. I have listed it here-“
“Nah,” the human interjected with a frown. “That’s not it. Not nearly enough.”
Quilx’tch tried to process that and formulate a question to ask but the human went on.
“Thorns then?” the human asked.
“Thorns?” Quilx’tch asked, raising an appendage in a request for clarification.   
“The plant,” the human said. “Does it have thorns?”
“No.” Quilx’tch replied. “I examined-“
“Hairs then?” the human pressed. “Enough hair will do it.”
Quilx’tch realized with a spark of hope that he was missing a vital component of whatever conversation the human thought they were having. If he could only find out what the human was truly after-
“No, no hairs,” the human concluded, focusing in on the stem. “It’s gotta be here somewhere. Maybe a geographical defense then. Does it only grow in super remote places?”
“It grows commonly over the majority of the landmasses,” Quilx’tch stated, but a light was dawning in his thoughts.
“Maybe just a little toxin on the leaf tips,” the human was muttering as he turned the image this way and that.
“Human Coworker Bob,” Quilx’tch began, “why are you so convinced that this plant must have some drastic defense mechanism?”
“Because there’s no such thing as a free lunch,” the human said, his face stiffening in a grim look. “No plant makes itself this nutritious and delicious without defending itself from predation. Trust me, there will be barbs, or toxin tipped spines, or, or something.”
Quilx’tch pondered this as he began composing a note. Paranoia was really outside of his field but the psychologists would be glad of any observations. 

Buzz Off - An Ode To Spring
​

Humans are Weird - A Very Social Club


“And this is the entry way. They do press releases here,” Human Friend Steve was saying as he waved his hand around the structured cavern of metamorphic rock. “And here is the rotunda. Supposedly the capstone was brought from Earth itself.”
“May I go inspect it?” Forty-seventh Click asked.
“Sure thing little guy,” Human Friend Steve said with a grin. “You have full run, ah flight of the place. No wasps on this planet.”
Forty-seventh Click shivered and smoothed his fur at the reminder and took off. The central block of metamorphic stone was a distinct color from the surrounding sections. He fluttered up and gently rubbed his sensory horns against the surface. It was artificially smoothed by a primitive machine process. It carried the scents of generations of collection of dust and moisture. It was an impressive central piece to center such an important building around.
“Yo! Forty-seven!” Human Friend Steve called out. “The senate is in recess so we have twenty minutes to see the hall.”
Forty-seventh Click abandoned his inspection of the central stone and landed on Human Friend Steve’s head.
“Those are the seats so the senate can rest. The media sits down there,” Steve was explaining.
“Why are the seats covered in fur-mimic?” Forty-seventh Click interrupted.
“Uh…fancy pants stuff?” Human Friend Steve said in the tone that suggested it was more of a guess. “It looks nice? Oh! And human skin doesn’t stick to velvet in the summer!”
“Velvet,” Forty-seventh Click muttered. “I’ll look it up later.”
“Great-“ Human Friend Steve went on, “now-”
“What is that shiny thing?” Forty-seventh Click asked.
“Lots of shiny things in the room,” Human Friend Steve pointed out.
“Over there,” Forty-seventh Click latched his winghook into the human’s ear and turned his head to the dais that displayed the item in question.
“Oh that!” Human Friend Steve’s face lit up with childish delight.  “That’s the Mace of the Republic! It came all the way from Earth too. The House back on Earth gifted it to the House here on Centauri.”
“Isn’t a mace a heavy combat weapon?” Forty-seventh  Click demanded. “Specifically isn’t it the kind that Great Warrior Eustace forged from the roots of the bronze trees to arm the botanical expedition in the Battle of the  Fanged Horror?”
“Yup,” Human Friend Steve nodded eagerly. “Only this one is made of metal so it has way more heft.”
“Why is a heavy combat weapon kept in an easily accessible point in a legislative assembly?” Forty-seventh Click asked.
“For keeping order,” Human Friend Steve. “It represents the power and tradition of the state. It’s a tradition going back thousands and thousands of years; to the very first republics.”
“Oh,” Forty-seventh Click said, clicking in self depreciating amusement. “A representation of state power. Of course.”
“And then the Speaker of the House can use it to threaten unruly senators with a clubbing if they don’t listen,” Human Friend Steve stated.
“So you gather together the best and brightest, hopefully the most reasonable, humans to solve your problems,” Forty-seventh Click observed, “and when they become heated their elected leader beats them with a club.”
“Oh goodness no,” Human Friend Steve said with a laugh.
“I am glad I misunderstood,” Forty-seventh Click said in relief.
“No, no,” Human Friend Steve said as he pointed to the human guard standing in one corner. “She has the sergeant-at-arms do the actual threat and clubbing.”

This little lady got her beak stuck in the window screen of my room. It made her easy to catch and release. 

Researching the development and implementation of high definition television in relation to sensory issues led me to Google  the term - HD becomes commonplace. 
I was expecting to face the usual problem when googling common ideas, choosing between the near infinite references.
To my surprise the search I entered brought me no - 0 - relevant results on the first page. 
Only what you see above. 
"When Supernatural Battles Became Common Place"
Oh Google...
What is going on in your algorithms that my search for a simply early 'oughts date range for some basic tech brought me to this adorable manga? 
I have not searched the details yet but I think I did watch the anime way back when. Before it had an English title. I must read it now to be sure. 
Cheers. 
And if you were wondering when the presence of HD screens and broadcasting began to have negative effects on those of us with sensory issues you are out of luck. 
Blame Google. 

Humans are Weird – Connotations


​“These are some very, through, observations you have taken of the humans’ language patterns,” First Sister said as she examined the data.  “But I fail to comprehend the exact nature of your current research proposal.”
Twenty-seventh Cousin flicked her antenna in agreement the figure on the holo-display. She was all too aware how confusing the mass of data was.
“As you are well aware First Sister,” she said. “All known languages have two delineated meanings for each individual idea nodule.”
“At least two,” First Sister agreed.
“For humanity this manifests as the connotation or denotation of words,” Twenty-seventh Cousin went on, warming to her subject. “Each word has the assigned technical meaning, or the denotation, which can be expressed shortly and in writing, and a range of positive and negative associations which require a far greater range of expression to convey.”
First Sister spread her antenna in a request for an example.
“Devour and scarf, for instance, have identical denotation at the current point in time,” Twenty-seventh Cousin said. “They converged due to language drift fairly recently. They share the mildly negative connotation of being related to animalistic behavior, however the emotial resonance of devour is frightening and negative while the emotial resonance of scarf is humors and positive.”
First Sister flashed her neck frill in pleased acceptance of the explanation.
“That pair are fairly well understood,” Twenty-seventh Cousin went on, “but there is more study to be done in this area. I believe I have found a similarly matched set, but this one a complex phrase, where the denotations are identical, and the connotations are vastly different.”
“The far negative reaction being the one you are concerned about the Core University Institutional Review Board rejecting the study for,” First Sister said, one antenna bobbing slowly in understanding.
Twenty-seventh Cousin flared her frill in relief and confirmation.
“And you want me to aid you in formulating the study so it isn’t rejected,” First Sister went on thoughtfully.
Twenty-seventh Cousin tried to keep her antenna from twitching in excited anticipation like a newly emerged.
“I am afraid I can’t,” First Sister said with a very disappointed droop of her frill.
Twenty-seventh Cousin tried not to twitch in irritation. She well knew the first of her hive, and First Sister had no intention of disappointing her younger hivemate. However there was some mischief twitching at the end of her mandibles and Twenty-seventh Cousin knew better than to attempt to force the issue.
“I am disappointed,” she said tonelessly, playing along. “What am I to do?”
“Well,”  First Sister brushed back her antenna dramatically. “The duties of a newly mated are so many but I suppose-“
“The duties of a what?” Twenty-seventh Cousin’s frill snapped out to full and washed green with blood flow, her antenna positively danced and she even lost professional control of her voice, letting it shoot out of the common range into the native trill of her species.
First Sister clicked in mock surprise and flicked her mandibles to the side like an old matron.
“Weren’t you told dear one?” She asked in a calm and professional tone.
Only the rapid fluttering of her frill behind her neck gave her excitement away.
Twenty-seventh Cousin laid her antenna back in an emphatic negative.
“Well,” First Sister shook herself and gestured off screen. “As I was saying, I cannot attend to this at the moment but Second Brother here.”
An absolutely gorgeous male stepped into frame with her.  He was a smooth, creamy green all over with a brilliant red semi-frill around his neck coming to a point just over his thorax. His antenna were long and amazingly flexible, coming nearly to First Sister’s neck when alert with interest. His eyes were the color of amber, with facets so well defined that the Crystals of the Mother would have wept for envy. They were wide set as well. A human might have splayed out their hand full width to pat his head and not touched either eye with pinky or thumb. His mandibles positively gleamed with health when they moved. Which they were doing now.
Twenty-seventh Cousin started up and laid her antenna back in shame.
“Forgive me,” she said hurriedly. “I didn’t hear that. I was somewhat … surprised by the sudden-“
“So we saw,” First Sister said in a smug tone. “What my dear Second Brother was saying was that he would be glad to come personally and assist you with your study. He is a very proficient linguist and specializes in human, oh what is that strange organ term they use?”
“Tongues,” Second Brother offered with a shy flick of his supple antenna.
Twenty-seventh Cousin didn’t know if a frill could actually burst from pride but First Sister looked to be in severe danger of it.
“I would be glad to have his assistance,” Twenty-seventh Sister said with full sincerity.
Antenna paralyzing beauty aside, a University trained linguist would be just what she needed.
“But how can you spare him?” she asked.
“Given the cycle we won’t be stringing any lines in the garden for some time,” First Sister said with a dismissive flick of her antenna.
Second Brother ducked his head in embarrassment at the blunt statement, but his antenna were twitching with delight. First Sister nudged him pointedly with a foot joint.
“I really do think the time would be better spent getting to know the rest of the hive,” he said softly, “before I have too much responsibility to wander.”
Great Mother he has a voice like wind-chimes. Twenty-Seventh Cousin thought.
“That would be ideal,” she said.
She forcibly refocused her attention away from her new cousin and indicated the data. He leaned forward eagerly and read through it. He soon clicked in understanding.
“You will most likely want someone non-threatening to ask the questions,” he said. “I can do that.”
She clicked gratefully.
“That would be wonderful,” she said. “For some reason all the humans on this base are nervous around me.”
“Curious,” Second Brother said without taking his attention off of the data. “You have such a charming mandible set.”
“Be that as it may,” she replied. “I think you are will be a far better non-threatening questioner.”
“So the concept is,” he said as he finished the data, “is that I am to come up to individual humans while they are isolated, ask them one of two nearly identical questions, and record their emotive responses?”
Twenty-Seventh Cousin flicked her antenna in confirmation.
Second Brother clicked a few times as he prepared to us human speech. Then straitened and spoke.
“Human Friend, would you like to accompany me to my cottage in the forest?” He tried the first question.  “Human Friend would you like to accompany me to my cabin in the woods?”
He had an excellent grasp of the human language and both sentences were smooth.
“And you say that the first one is met with general positivity and the second with general fear and hostility?” He asked.
“It is more than that,” Twenty-seventh Cousin explained. “I showed the question set and he assured me the connotation set was pleasant and vague for the first but very specifically being hacked to death by an insane human after a prolonged pursuit for the second.”
Second Brother curled his antenna in horror.
“That is very specific for connotation,” he observed. “What could have caused that?”