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​ Humans are Weird – Give Me a Minute

5/31/2021

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​ Humans are Weird – Give Me a Minute




The brilliant pair of suns beat down on the lapping waves that made this section of the water so dangerous for swimming. The scattered light that was almost universally attractive to the various sapient species of the galaxy was flickering from the tip of each wave. The human who had followed along emitted a sudden breath and his exposed skin flushed with deep pleasure.
“Sparkly,” the human murmured.
Given that they were separated by several meters of air Prodsfoolishly couldn’t see the human’s binocular eyes particularly well, but he could observe that the muscular shutters had irised down to mere points, and even the fleshy outer coverings were narrowed to shield the sensitive lenses with the guard hairs. All told it was a very defensive action, one that was far too similar to what Prodsfoolishly had been taught to identify as pain in the giant mammals. However he could see the broad decimeters of skin rippling with delight as the human’s stripes positively pulsed. Under the water the humans ten, adorably stubby appendages flexed and recoiled as he seemed to draw in data on the cove floor.
“Thank you again for the invite Prods,” the human finally said. “I needed to get out of the reading rooms.”
“It has been a long research session,” Prodsfoolishly agreed. “We are all feeling a little stale, but my motivations in inviting you were hardly selfless concern for your well-being.”
“Even so,” the humans said with a smile. “Thank you. Now-”
The last word, which should have heralded the beginning of a new verbally expressed thought trailed off as the now pinpoint binocular vision darted around the cover and the giant, bipedal body swayed thoughtfully. The human slowly folded over and slipped into the water that came up to his waist at this location. The human achieved a fully buoyant position and the slipped the synthetic lenses used to protect his membranous eyes from the saline differential down over his eyes.
“Upies?” the human suggested, using his hands to sign the words now that his mouth was under water and less useful.
“Please,” Prodsfoolishly accepted the offer.
There was only a very slight thermocline in this water that was shallow enough even by most Undulate standards but it was enough to begin stealing the heat from his core. He swam vigorously up to the human and carefully climbed onto the human’s back. He aligned himself along the spine to provide as much symmetry as possible and gripped the locations he had discovered, through no little trial and rather hysterical error, produced the least reaction from this human.
“I am in fact quite grateful to you,” Prodsfoolishly continued their conversation as the human swam along. “Solo exploration is prohibited and even team exploration can only be done with a fully equipped level five environmental hazard unit.”
“Fish!” the human signed with a sudden gesture.
Prodsfoolishly foolishly, who had already been noting the small herbivore on his datapad remembered to give a hum of acknowledgment. Humans, like most species, needed to be reassured of their place in the professional cuddle he supposed. He really couldn’t think of any other reason the human would call attention to something that was clearly in his line of sight. The floated along for a bit, Prodsfoolishly happily making observations of the local aquatic fauna until their ultimate goal came in sight.
The rocks of the cliff face, such a strange and terrifying formation. Dark mineral deposits such as one should only ever find deep beneath coral, stripped bare in many places by the wind and water tearing the flora away from the steep sides, disappearing into the distance and merging with the shimmering day colors of the sky. Even the human, who could probably start giving him a list of the plant species that topped the cliff was appropriately awed by the sight if the shifting patterns of fear and delight were any indication.
“Is this the indicated cavity?” Prodsfoolishly asked when the human’s initial reaction to the location had subsided somewhat.
“That’s what the map says,” the human confirmed, pulling up the projection on his arm.
The lights of his skin interfered with the display of course, foolish to project a light display on an inherently glowing surface of course, but the humans insisted that they would eventually be able to fine-tune the display to make it easier to read.
“Then I will go ahead and scout the entrance so we can be sure you oxygen reserves are sufficient,” Prodsfoolishly said.
“I’m good for two minutes easy,” the human said, “three in a pinch.”
Prodsfoolishly hummed and slipped down under the water, he dropped to the floor of the cove and scrambled along the bottom. The shelf of minerals that dipped down into the water was barely a meter thick. The human’s fast swimming method shouldn’t require three seconds to get under it and to the cavern on the other side, just as the survey results had reported. Still, Prodsfoolishly swam up through the thin water and thrust an appendage rich with atmosphere cells past the surface tension to check the quality of the air. The oxygen was plentiful and he dropped back down to wave the human in. His friend dipped down and instead of swimming simply grabbed a mineral protrusion and then thrust off the floor of the cove with his powerful legs. This move shot him forward in a curve that sent waves bursting out around him when he breached the surface.
“The unusual nests are found behind you,” Prodsfoolishly instructed. “Just reach up and-”
The human turned with an odd distress pattern flashing across his skin and slammed his head into the rock wall. The human emitted a rather profane curse and staggered back, crouching in the water and clutching his head. It took Prodsfoolishly several seconds to even realize that the vector the human’s head had struck the wall at was dangerous. It was several more seconds before he recognized the chemical trails drifting on the moist air to be the iron rich human blood. Meanwhile the human was softly chanting the profanity.
“You are injured!” Prodsfoolishly called out frantically.
“You don’t say!” the human bit out. “What cued you in?”
Prodsfoolishly couldn’t really believe that his friend thought he was successfully concealing the injury and assumed that to be sarcasm.
“Do you require medical attention?” Prodsfoolishly asked.
“Probably,” the human admitted. “But I want to try and stop the bleeding here before I swim anywhere with this cut on my head. You time it and let me know when five minutes is up. Then I’ll swim out if the bleeding has stopped.”
“If it hasn’t stopped I can apply pressure while you use your hands to swim,” Prodsfoolishly offered. “We can’t throw but we are very good at compressive strength.”
“I might take you up on that offer,” the human said as the pain light danced out from the injury.
“Why did you slam your neural center into the wall?” Prodsfoolishly asked.
“Well I didn’t mean to,” the human said. “I was just blind for a moment there.”
“Your eyes had stopped functioning?” Prodsfoolishly asked.
“Not, not exactly,” the human said, his face contorting with pain. “It was just coming in from the noon sun into here, there wasn’t enough light.”
“The sensors read more than sufficient lumins,” Prodsfoolishly said.
“Sure there will be,” the human agreed, “or would have been once my eyes adjusted.”
“Adjusted?” Prodsfoolishly asked.
“To the lack of light,” the human replied.
“I see,” Prodsfoolishly said uneasily.
It did make a kind of sense. He had seen the human’s pupils contracted to points outside. There could he supposed be a time of adjustment, a matter of moments when the human was blind in an otherwise lighted environment, but it just seemed so odd, such a random limitation of sensory data, he wondered if their other senses could be temporarily overwhelmed like that.
“Hey, keep talking buddy,” the human called out. “If I start wobbling mentally from a concussion you really need to know stat.”
Prodsfoolishly suddenly felt the chill weight of responsibility drag down his appendages at the thought of being responsible for his friend’s safety and sent a prayer out on the waves that the mamma’s internal fluids stayed there and his neural network was unjosteled.  


​Humans are Weird: I Have the Data: by Betty Adams, Adelia Gibadullina, Paperback | Barnes & Noble® (barnesandnoble.com)

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Amazon.com: Humans are Weird: I Have the Data (9798588913683): Adams, Betty, Wong, Richard, Gibadullina, Adelia: Books
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Humans are Weird: I Have the Data eBook by Betty Adams - 1230004645337 | Rakuten Kobo United States

Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 89 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.

Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $50 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
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The Bad Batch Season 1 Episdoe 4 Cornered - Remarkably Polite and Business Savy Bounty Huntress Ahoy

5/30/2021

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​Humans are Weird: I Have the Data: by Betty Adams, Adelia Gibadullina, Paperback | Barnes & Noble® (barnesandnoble.com)


Humans are Weird: I Have the Data by Betty Adams - Books on Google Play

Amazon.com: Humans are Weird: I Have the Data (9798588913683): Adams, Betty, Wong, Richard, Gibadullina, Adelia: Books
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Humans are Weird: I Have the Data eBook by Betty Adams - 1230004645337 | Rakuten Kobo United States

Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 82 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.

Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $50 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
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Kaiju NO. 8 Chapter 35 Spoiler Free Review - BIFF - POW - WHAM-Kaiju Shonen Manga in its Purest Form

5/27/2021

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​Humans are Weird: I Have the Data: by Betty Adams, Adelia Gibadullina, Paperback | Barnes & Noble® (barnesandnoble.com)

Humans are Weird: I Have the Data by Betty Adams - Books on Google Play

Amazon.com: Humans are Weird: I Have the Data (9798588913683): Adams, Betty, Wong, Richard, Gibadullina, Adelia: Books
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Humans are Weird: I Have the Data eBook by Betty Adams - 1230004645337 | Rakuten Kobo United States

Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 82 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.

Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $50 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
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Commander Shinomiya is One Clever Old Dog - We All Love to Hate Him but What are His Virtues

5/25/2021

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​Humans are Weird: I Have the Data: by Betty Adams, Adelia Gibadullina, Paperback | Barnes & Noble® (barnesandnoble.com)


Humans are Weird: I Have the Data by Betty Adams - Books on Google Play

Amazon.com: Humans are Weird: I Have the Data (9798588913683): Adams, Betty, Wong, Richard, Gibadullina, Adelia: Books
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Humans are Weird: I Have the Data eBook by Betty Adams - 1230004645337 | Rakuten Kobo United States

Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 82 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.

Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $50 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
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Humans are Weird - Bloody

5/24/2021

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 Humans are Weird – Bloody


The artificial lighting of the classroom illuminated the carcas flayed across the table in a comfortingly sterile light. Second Sister Proxima Alpha Reached her hand gingerly into the stomach cavity and felt around for the sensor that the scans had insisted were inside the unfortunate herbivore. When Fifth Biologist had come in shouting about having solved the mystery of the disappearing sensors she had not known what to expect, but it was not a befuddled and belligerent sextoped with a rope around it’s neck and internal fluids frothing out of its mouth and nostrils. First Ranger had come in and his face had instantly flushed with that odd, dead grief that most humans reacted to terminally injured animals with. He had quietly left to fetch his projectile weapon and had returned to “put the animal down” as the humans called it. Now Second sister Proxima Alpha was attempting to fell a sensor with paper fine filaments through the protective layer of the biological contamination gloves.
“Will Fifth Biologist return soon to aid us?” Second Sister Proxima Beta asked from the other side of the massive beast where she was retrieving another sensor from another stomach cavity, apparently the local fauna dealt with the high content of indigestible fibers in the local flora population by hosting colonies of bacteria in multiple stomachs, a survival strategy Second Sister Proxima Alpha would have been far more interested in if she wasn’t swathed in a biological contamination suit.
“He plans to return as soon as he finishes the parasite decontamination process,” Second Sister Proxima Alpha replied. “He was fairly splattered with the hemorrhagic fluids that this creature had spread in it’s struggle. I believe that the animal even managed to deliver a rather sever blow directly to Fifth Biologist’s face and smear the fluids over all of his primary sensory input points.”
Second Sister Proxima Beta gave a rasp of polite horror which morphed into a click of satisfaction, followed immediately by a wet squelch and the muffled ting of a sensor fin striking a sample tray.
“How did this beast find a way to ingest this many of the sensors?” Second Sister Proxmia Beta wondered aloud. “Most of them should have been above the reach of its neck.”
“The bugger stomped down the sensory tree, that’s how,” came the distorted voice of Fifth Biologist as the doors opened to admit him.
“This creature does not appear to have the mass necessary to disrupt the anchoring applied to the sensory trees,” Second Sister Proxima Alpha observed.
“You’d think” the human agreed.
She heard the human shuffle around near the caudal end of the animal and heard the bone saw begin to hum as the cold lasers powered up. She also heard another horrified rasp from Second Sister Proxmia Beta. Second Sister Proxmia Alpha carefully arranged her neck frill so her smug satisfaction wouldn’t be too obvious when she stood up and looked at Fifth Biologist. For all that they ranked the same this other Second Sister was more than a bit presumptuous. It would be nice to put her in her place when it came to dealing with minor human injuries. The relative inexperience of the other meant that she often over reacted to minor skin injuries. Second Sister Proxmia Alpha wondered idly if it was the bruising from the blow or irritation from the sterilization process that was horrifying the other Second Sister. She came around the carcass and froze. She felt a surge of guilt for having judged the other Second Sister so quickly even as her own antenna curled in horror.
“Don’t attempt verbal communication,” she quickly warned the other Second Sister. “It will be quite the waste.”
“What?” Fifth Biologist asked as Second Sister Proxima Alpha strode towards the nearest counter and picked up a tray with a particularly reflective surface.
She turned and held it up for the human so that he could see his face in the reflection. She was quietly relieved when the human recoiled in fear and disgust.
“Blood-” he gasped out.
“Blood,” Second Sister Proxima Alpha confirmed. “Quite the quantity of it in fact.”
“That six-legged snoot-cow must have whacked my nose harder than I thought when I roped it,” Fifth Ranger said with a laugh. “Then the sterilization chamber must have dried out my own snoot. Dang,” the human glared ruefully at the blood running down his lips and chin and at the drying brown smears spread over the top half of his face, “that looks bad doesn’t it?”
Second Sister Proxima Alpha didn’t reply as she was busily typing away on her datapad. The human noted this even as he picked up a sanitizing wipe to aid in staunching the dribble of active blood flow.
“You’re not snitching are you?” the human demanded as he began to edge towards the door. “I’m going, I’m going!”
“Then, no matter if I am snitching on you you will be in the medical ward long before security gets here,” Second Sister Proxima Alpha said, flaring her frill as sternly as she could under her protective coveralls.
“I’m getting,” the human muttered one more time as he took his blood-smeared face out of the dissection lab.
Second Sister Proxima Beta was frozen in shock as she watched the human leave and Second Sister Proxima Alpha felt her antenna droops in frustration, from the way that the other Second Sister’s frill was rapidly growing pale under her protective coveralls they were not going to get any more productive work done today.
“Come Second Sister Proxima Beta,” she finally said. “Let us clean up and find some nectar pods.”
The other took the suggestion gratefully and they stepped gingerly around the bright red drops that had splattered across the floor.
Humans are Weird: I Have the Data: by Betty Adams, Adelia Gibadullina, Paperback | Barnes & Noble® (barnesandnoble.com)

Humans are Weird: I Have the Data by Betty Adams - Books on Google Play

Amazon.com: Humans are Weird: I Have the Data (9798588913683): Adams, Betty, Wong, Richard, Gibadullina, Adelia: Books
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Humans are Weird: I Have the Data eBook by Betty Adams - 1230004645337 | Rakuten Kobo United States

Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 56 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.

Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $50 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.

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Part 1 - Dan Exclaims and Betty Adams Talk Manga Anime and Kaiju NO. 8

5/23/2021

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Humans are Weird: I Have the Data: by Betty Adams, Adelia Gibadullina, Paperback | Barnes & Noble® (barnesandnoble.com)

Humans are Weird: I Have the Data by Betty Adams - Books on Google Play

Amazon.com: Humans are Weird: I Have the Data (9798588913683): Adams, Betty, Wong, Richard, Gibadullina, Adelia: Books
​

Humans are Weird: I Have the Data eBook by Betty Adams - 1230004645337 | Rakuten Kobo United States

Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 56 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.

Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $50 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
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Kaiju NO. 8 Chapter 34-Spoiler Free Analysis-Anther Heaping Serving of Pain and Suffering - More Plz

5/20/2021

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Humans are Weird: I Have the Data: by Betty Adams, Adelia Gibadullina, Paperback | Barnes & Noble® (barnesandnoble.com)

Humans are Weird: I Have the Data by Betty Adams - Books on Google Play

Amazon.com: Humans are Weird: I Have the Data (9798588913683): Adams, Betty, Wong, Richard, Gibadullina, Adelia: Books
​

Humans are Weird: I Have the Data eBook by Betty Adams - 1230004645337 | Rakuten Kobo United States

Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 56 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.

Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $50 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
​
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Part 2 Grimsabr and I Talk Kaiju NO. 8 - Power Rating Scales-Character Design Logic - And What Comes

5/19/2021

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Grimsabr on Youtube

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Humans are Weird: I Have the Data: by Betty Adams, Adelia Gibadullina, Paperback | Barnes & Noble® (barnesandnoble.com)

Humans are Weird: I Have the Data by Betty Adams - Books on Google Play

Amazon.com: Humans are Weird: I Have the Data (9798588913683): Adams, Betty, Wong, Richard, Gibadullina, Adelia: Books
​

Humans are Weird: I Have the Data eBook by Betty Adams - 1230004645337 | Rakuten Kobo United States

Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 56 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.

Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $50 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.


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Kafka the Human Kaiju – With The Most Sincere Apologies to Peter, Paul, and Mary- Filk Song

5/18/2021

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Kafka the Human Kaiju – With The Most Sincere Apologies to Peter, Paul, and Mary- Filk Song
(Music for this is avaliable to Patrons)

Humans are Weird: I Have the Data: by Betty Adams, Adelia Gibadullina, Paperback | Barnes & Noble® (barnesandnoble.com)

Humans are Weird: I Have the Data by Betty Adams - Books on Google Play

Amazon.com: Humans are Weird: I Have the Data (9798588913683): Adams, Betty, Wong, Richard, Gibadullina, Adelia: Books
​

Humans are Weird: I Have the Data eBook by Betty Adams - 1230004645337 | Rakuten Kobo United States

Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 56 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.

Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $50 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
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Humans are Weird - Made of Meat

5/17/2021

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 Humans are Weird – Made of Meat


“This is such a giddy experience!” Quilx’tch said as he darted around the side of the towering vat of super-heated fluid.
The massive cylinder was rated to produce pressures and temperatures most often associated with gas giant planets and the base security officer had nearly had a moral breakdown when the board of directors had affirmed its use as a common cooking device on the base. The young Shatar male had had to be sent home to his mother with a case of nervous twitching that left the base medic deeply puzzled.
Personally Quilx’tch didn’t see what the fuss was all about. Yes, the machine did pose the very tiny possibility of exploding with the force of a low grade excavation charge, but the device was safety certified by the mechanical engineers on dozens of different planets. It was a bit disconcerting to think that the environmental pressures on the human homeworld were such that the need to exterminate all micro-organisms completely outweighed the threat of an exploding kitchen appliance. Quilx’tch secured the drip-cloak over his head again, fretting a little at the decreased visibility it left him with.
“There is so much to see!” he exclaimed as he walked out to the edge of the table his friend had set up.
The human, broad and powerful even by human standards gave a companionable laugh at that but didn’t turn his binocular vision away from the pressure readout on the device. His drip-cloak only selectively covered the greater area of his front and was completely opaque. He had opted for clear safety glasses and thermal resistant gloves for his hands but left the larger part of his arms and face bare. It was either a bold move, disregarding his personal safety, or a completely confident statement of faith in the manufacture and upkeep of the highly pressurized appliance they were using.
Quilx’tch took this moment of relative calm to cast his gaze around the rest of the festival grounds. This early in the diurnal cycle the majority of the booths were still being set up. There was a group of Shatar clustered around the powerful body of an older female sorting out various congealed fruit pods. Quilx’tch tapped out a quick note to purchase a selection of the smaller pods, clearly marked for Shatar hatchlings. They did look delectable.
A mid-sized human strolled past the cluster of Grandchildren and Quilx’tch enjoyed the sudden shift in perspective as the Shatar, so much larger than himself, suddenly appeared small and fragile. Even the age roughened Grandmother with her shoulders thickened from years of work seemed delicate as the human strolled by carrying a massive polystructure support pipe on her shoulder.
“Perspective is a funny thing,” Quilx’tch quoted softly as he watched the younger Shatar flap their frills in astonishment.
“Here come my first customers!” the human said suddenly. “They messaged ahead for their order. We need about fifteen slices of toast.”
Quilx’tch darted over to the solar oven and began placing the slices of bread on the toasting surface. The device worked quite quickly and he was already turning over the first toasted side by the time the laughing group of humans arrived and exchanged greetings with the booth. Quilx’tch’s human friend opened the pressure device with a flourish that sent giant clouds of heated steam drifting up to the top of the booth and out into the general atmosphere.
“There you go!” the human called out as he carefully began scooping bright orange orbs from the interior of the device. “Fresh from the fifteenth century in England!”
“I doubt that they used a pressure cooker in the fourteen hundreds!” one of the group laughed.
The chatter continued as Quilx’tch wished that he could listen. The concept of valuing the antiquity and history of the recipe was a fairly easy to understand paradigm. Anything that survived that many generations of the natural change of life in a recognizable form was bound to have some value. However from what he could gather the humans were talking about two distinct eras separated by at least twenty reproductive generations as if they were the same. It was curious, but he could not divert attention away from finishing the presentation of the toast that was to be the base of the meal.
His human friend was using his body position and joint vectors to broadcast that he was now applying the art of food preparation rather than the science as he garnished the orange orbs with a green topper of sugar make to look like a leaf. The group of humans applauded in appreciation and Quilx’tch quickly rolled his trolley piled high with toast over to the front of the stall.
One of the humans gasped and one crooned.
“He’s wearing itty-bitty oven mitt on his itty-bitty paws!” one human exclaimed.
Another human drive his elbow into the ribs of the human who had spoken with enough force to eject air from the human’s lungs. Quilx’tch wondered what about the legally required protective gear the human found cute but was too busy arranging the toast to really ponder it. Oddly he could see the enthusiasm draining from the human’s faces as they considered the offering.
“Tiny oranges on toast?” one human finally demanded. “You said he was selling meat!”
“These are meat!” Quilx’tch’s friend declared.
Quilx’tch could hear the amusement in his voice and one of the purchase group was very noticeably smirking. Clearly they were engaged in that favorite human pastime, pulling one over on one’s friends. With a flourish Quilx’tch’s human friend reached out with a small knife and slit the orange orbs open, revealing the pink, pasty interior.
“It’s meat!” one human exclaimed.
“Weird!” and whispered as he leaned forward to peer at the false orange.
Quilx’tch rather agreed with the assessment, that is why he was here to gather data on this rare and odd human delicacy. Barring any lethal explosions he hopped to have a very interesting paper published about fruit made of meat in the next journal entry.  



Humans are Weird: I Have the Data: by Betty Adams, Adelia Gibadullina, Paperback | Barnes & Noble® (barnesandnoble.com)

Humans are Weird: I Have the Data by Betty Adams - Books on Google Play

Amazon.com: Humans are Weird: I Have the Data (9798588913683): Adams, Betty, Wong, Richard, Gibadullina, Adelia: Books
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Humans are Weird: I Have the Data eBook by Betty Adams - 1230004645337 | Rakuten Kobo United States

Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 56 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.

Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $50 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
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