Humans are Weird – Jumpy
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“Second Maintenance-“  Sixteenth Sister began.
The human who had been bent over the printer gave a wordless sound she had never heard before and leapt into the air, twisting around to face her. His feet slammed back into the floor with a thump and his hand came up to grip his chest over his central heart. His eyes dilated and his outer membrane flushed with increased blood flow. His powerful bi-pulmonary lungs forced the atmosphere through his flaring nostril membranes.
“Second Maintenance Assistant,” Sixteenth Sister tried again. “What has frightened you?”
Her own antenna and frill were extended to their full extent now but she could not detect any threat in the well lit maintenance bay.
“Nah,” the human said, drawing in a single great gasp of air that seemed to still the rest of the symptoms. “No threat. Just-“
He stood up and shook out his limbs.
“You just startled me is all,” he said, twisting his face into what she was assured was a friendly gesture.
“I, startled, you?” she asked in surprise, her frill slowly lowering as her antenna curled.
“Well,” he corrected himself as he glanced back at the item printing. “I got startled; wasn’t your fault at all. I was just really into watching this thing print and lost track of where I was.”
Sixteenth Sister stared at him as her antenna slowly curled and uncurled.
“Yeah so what’d ya want?” He asked with a grin.
“When will the gripping appendage be printed?” Sixteenth Sister asked.
“Bout twenty minutes,” he said.
“Very well,” Sixteenth Sister said, backing out of the room, “I will inform the interested parties.” 

Humans are Weird – Savage Corollary


​“Don’t you have to clear this with the ethics board before you do anything?” Forty-thee Trills asked as they perched together on one of the many arms of the communications array.
“Nope,” Tras’ktr replied as he adjusted the focus on the camera lens.
“But you are performing active scientific research on sentient beings,” Forty-three Trills pressed.
“No I am not,” Tras’ktr waved one of his free appendages in demonstration.
Demonstration of what Forty-three Trills wasn’t quite certain.
“How is this,” he gestured with his wing hook at the simple levers set up below them, “not  a scientific study?”
“Be still if you can!” Tras’ktr instructed. “Human Friend Jameson approached the target.”
Forty-three Trills huffed at the implied insult but went still, quite still thank you, to watch the human. Jameson was strolling towards the outdoor drink dispenser. It was a simple refrigeration unit that  kept added value nutrient fluids at optimum temperatures. Something that most species considered useful on warmer worlds but that humans insisted was absolutely necessary to moral. In front of the unit Tras’ktr had placed a contraption of serrated steel bands and various springs and levers.
“What did you say that artwork was supposed to mimic?” Forty-three Trills asked.
“The humans call it a bear trap,” Tras’ktr replied. “Now be still!”
Jameson had noted the mock trap and was frowning at it as he approached. He slowed to a stop and glanced around as if looking for some explanation. He attempted to reach over the device but found it exceeded his reach, leaving the drink unit controls just out of range of his fingers. There watched for several moments as the human tried various angles and positions before Jameson took a deep breath and stepped into the mock trap. The human gave one full body shudder and then let out a long breath when the device did not do whatever he had expected it to do. The human quickly extracted his drink before scampering out of the device. He stalked away glancing back at the device with a grin on his mouth but a nervous attention in his bifocal eyes.
“That was amusing,” Forty-three Trills admitted. “But how are you getting around the ethics board?”
“Something the humans taught me,” Tras’ktr said. “The principle is called the Savage Corollary. It’s not science if you don’t write it down.”

The title is self explanatory. I am not dead and I will make up the three week dead space to you this week. Look forward to the Monday, Wednesday, Friday updates! 

While out looking for plants to ID I found the Tree of Gondor on a stone in Deer Creek.

​Humans are Weird – Chocolate Cake

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“Do you know why we called you in to talk today?”  Fifteenth Sister asked.
The human shifted uneasily in his chair and glanced anywhere but at her gleaming faceted eyes.
Fifteenth Sister made a quick mental check of her expression. She hoped she wasn’t displaying human aggression signals. Her mandibles rested in a closed but not tight position, her antenna were perked in interest, and her head was slightly tilted to the side to give her the best focus on the human.
“I really don’t,” the human finally said.
Fifteenth Sister flicked her antenna in acknowledgment.
“I am afraid that Amblesalong had some concerns about you health,” Fifteenth Sister informed him.
“Okay…” the human tightened the fleshy covering over his disconcerting single point eyes.
That meant he was focusing his attention on her, waiting for further information, she remembered.
“Yes,” Fifteenth Sister went on, “he was concerned that you had not reported intaking enough nutrients to maintain your health.”
“Dude,” the human muttered as his gaze dropped to his hands and the smooth expanse of his forehead wrinkled in a fascinating manner.
She took the totality of his reactions to me he was pondering this information.
“Don’t know where he gets off saying that,” the human finally said. “I’ve been eating plenty and I reported all of it in my daily log.”
“Here is your log,” Fifteenth Sister pulled up the table on the holographic display.
She was increasingly gratefully that their sight overlapped enough that they could share this most efficient display method.
“Can you confirm that these are the inputs you entered?” She asked.
“Yeah,” the human said after a moment. “That seems about right.”
“According to this,” Fifteenth Sister said. “You have consumed primarily simple, dead carbohydrates for the past three days.”
“Yeah,” the human bobbed his head vigorously in a manner that would have indicated serious neural dysfunction in a Shatar. “Since the party, we’ve been going through the remaining party food.”
“Amblesalong assures me that this is a wholly inadequate diet for your species,” Fifteenth Sister observed. “He even suggested that if you continued this pattern it could start showing serious medical effects within days.”
“Yeah well,” the human raised and lowered his shoulders, “the chocolate cake is almost gone so it’ll be fine. I mean I won’t get scurvy in three days.”
Fifteenth Sister felt her antenna curl in annoyance and worked to keep her frill level. She had been warned about human carelessness about their nutrient health. She would deal with this like a professional.