This author spent a large part of the time today working with friendly furry things. It was a good day. 

Humans are Weird – Not Hiding

​“Why are we hiding Human Friend Steve?” Thrustup asked from where he poised on the shelf over the human.
Human Friend Steve started with a profanity and jerked away from the wall he had been pressed against.
“I’m not hiding!” Human Friend Steve insisted, his stripped skin flushing brilliant colors in turn as the blood flow altered.
“Really?” Thrust Up asked. “I thought that posture and your relationship to the local environments indicated an attempt at concealment. I will have to-“
“Maybe I was hiding a little,” Human Friend Steve admitted, rubbing he primary gripping appendage over his face, sending the colorful stripes there rippling. “I didn’t mean to be hiding. It was just-“
“An instinctive reaction to some threat?” Thrustup asked, his voice going flat as unease made him loose control of his ability to generate sound.
“Not a threat,” Human Friend Steve said with a resigned sigh.
The human angled his core mass so his sensory concentration, his ‘head’, was aimed around the corner.
“Just avoiding another human,” Human Friend Steve confessed.
“Is there a dispute between you?” Thrustup asked, adding concern to his voice.
“No, no,” Human Friend Steve said, adding with a gesture of his primary gripping appendage that the idea was so far from the truth that it ought to be dismissed and not brought up again. “We’re fine. Really. It’s just I was up a little late last night and I don’t want to be stuck next to that chatter box till the coffee kicks in.”
“Chatter box?” Twistunder asked after a pause.
“Human Friend Madeline,” Human Friend Steve explained. “She talks a lot, and she has a kind of high pitched voice. It doesn’t bother me when I’m properly rested, but when I’m still groggy.” He waved his gripping appendage in a gesture of generic confirmation.
Thrustup considered this.
“Why are you hiding then?” he asked.
“I’ m not hiding!” Human Friend Steve protested again. “Not really. I just don’t want to hurt Maddie’s feelings so I’m waiting to go for the coffee pot until she goes out to the gardens.”
“How would you hurt her feelings?” Thrustup asked.
“By refusing to listen to what she his saying,” Human Friend Steve explained as he peered around the corner again.
“Will not your hiding from her over here hurt her feelings in the same way?” Thrustup asked.
“She won’t know about it if people keep quiet,” Human Friend Steve muttered.
“Do you wish me to stop talking?” Thrustup asked. “Or I can lower the pitch of my voice.”
Human Friend Steve loosened and let the broad, bony surface of his head slap into the wall.
“I need coffee for this conversation,” he groaned. 

What is flying like?

So I had a flying dream recently. Only flying isn't quite the right word. I don't know that I have ever had a "flying" dream. I can't remember ever soaring through the sky like a hawk, or flitting from tree to tree like a sparrow.
In my dreams I glide. 
I take a step off the bottom step of the stairs and glide away. There is tremendous effort required but very little work. It is something like skateboarding. When you are on a down-slope there is very little power involved, gravity is doing the heavy lifting, but you have to pay attention and balance. You must make a thousand tiny corrections as you move. That is what my gliding dreams are like. I start on my feet and then when I get gliding along nicely I pull my limbs into a sitting or "water slide" position. If I loose concentration for a moment I stumble and fall back to the ground. It feels so very real.
A few seconds into the dream I remember not being able to do this. Then I figure that as I am doing it now I must be able to do it. Therefore the times I couldn't must have been the dream time and this is real. These dreams often last quite a long time.
What kind of flying dreams do you have? 
Do you soar? 
Do you flit? 
Do you glide? 

​ 

Humans are Weird
101 Tales of Comedy and Error
Greetings my fellow sentients!
 I have spent the majority of my career studying the nutritional habits of the known sentient species of the galaxy. With the recent discovery of humanity my work has focused on our strange new omnivorous friends. The questions raised simply by the fact that they are predators have sent the Universities of the Home Clusters into near chaos. Therefore I have spent the past year gathering data on their odd behaviors. I have observed their tendency to pet everything that moves, and a few things that don’t. I have observed their willingness to eat nearly anything that fits their nutritional profile and several items that are outright poisons. I have observed their capacity to turn anything, but most especially food sources, into explosive incendiary devices.
However space travel is resource intensive, as are fireproof tweed jackets and hats. Delightful stuff asbestos; but heavy to carry star to star. Sometimes I arrive at a human base and the contents of the cupboards are “steak” and “limes”. Due to the animal products in one and the acid of the other I have needed to bring all of my own food. Again this is expensive.
Therefore I have initiated a “Kickstarter” project to fund my research projects. I am currently learning the “ropes” as it were.
This Kickstarter project will be to fund the write up and publication of my last year’s worth of research.
       “Humans are Weird
                       -
101 Tale of Comedy and Error”
At the moment I am making the introduction video.
I will keep you updated.
 

Barring the deaths of any creators who greatly influenced my childhood I will have a big announcement next Monday. 
Here is a hint. Humans are Weird and the internet needs backups. 

I know I promised a big announcement on Monday but I just couldn't seem to find the drive to post after the news broke about Stan Lee. RIP old man. You filled my world with joy and catchy jingles from the time I was a child 

​Humans are Weird – Pardon Me


“Pardon me Human Friend LaChance?” Twistunder began as he approached the human at the edge of the joint recreation pool.
“Eh?”
The sound was listed as *general recognition of non-threatening disturbance-continue to communicate-repeat previous communication attempt*. It was quite a lot of meaning to imprint in one tone and Twistunder was rather fascinated with the idea but he was here for a different, and potentially more offensive set of questions.
“Pardon me Human Friend LaChance,” Twistunder began again. “May I intrude on your meditation time?”
“My what now?” LaChance asked, his face twisting into perplexed and relaxed confusion.
“You are reading and meditating over the thoughts in that book,” Twistunder indicated the woven mass of rustling lanolin.
“Yeah,” the human said as he examined the book and his face smoothed over in surprise, his stripes flushing alternating colors. “I guess that is what I am doing…what was your question?”
“I asked,” Twistunder repeated, “if I may intrude.”
“Intrude away little buddy,” Human Friend LaChance said cheerfully.
Taking that as a full invitation Twistunder quickly scrambled out of the water, onto the rock the human was sitting on, and up into the twin broad mobile appendages. Twistunder marveled anew at the tightly bound masses of muscle under the thick and rough outer membrane. It was easy to believe that a human could race across the ground at a fantastic six unds per second. Human Friend LaChance let out a rumbled from deep in his chest that was called a chuckle as Twistunder settled over his primary appendage joints.
“I have a question,” Twistunder began, making sure to angle his primary gripping end at Human Friend LaChance’s face. “It is a question that might be offensive.”
“We’re both scientists,” LaChance replied, twisting his face to reveal his broad, enameled teeth. “I doubt I’ll be offended.”
“I wish to ask the meaning of that physical word you just used,” Twistunder replied.
“I used a physical word?” Human Friend LaChance in surprise.
“Yes,” Twistunder explained.
“So what made you think it was maybe offensive?” Human Friend LaChance asked.
“It was very similar to the poem prayer,” Twistunder answered, displaying the motion with one appendage.
“Well not offended but very much not Catholic,” Human Friend LaChance said with a laugh. “And I certainly wasn’t praying just now. Can you show me what I did?”
Twistunder bobbed his primary gripping end eagerly up and down in confirmation.
“You did this,” he said.
He arched his body up, gripping Human Friend LaChance’s kneecaps for support, and stiffened into his best approximation of a bipedal form. He lifted one primary gripping appendage and lightly tapped first the top of his ‘head’, then his ‘face’, then his ‘chest’. Human Friend LaChance burst out laughing so hard that Twistunder had to drop back down and grip both legs to avoid falling off. When the laughter subsided Human Friend LaChance reached down to pat him in a friendly gesture.
“Not meant to be communication Bud,” he said cheerfully. “It is more of an internal reaction to circumstances.”
Twistunder drooped in disappointment and Human Friend LaChance patted him again.
“But I can translate it for you as communication anyway,” Human Friend LaChance assured him.
He stiffened in the first gesture.
“Hey! I need my glasses!” He said. “You know what glasses are right?”
“Artificial light focal point generators made from various crystalline substances,” Twistunder replied.
“Yup! So then,” he touched the top of his head, “are they on my head? No? Well maybe I already put them on my eyes and just forgot.” He touched the wide bones over his eyes. “Nope? Well maybe I hung them on my neck?” He touched his chest. “Nope. Guess I left them at home. No biggie.”
The human ceased the explanation and smiled down at his friend as he patted him.
“That explain it for you Bud?” He asked.
“It is an external diagnostic,” Twistunder observed.
“Pretty much,” Human Friend LaChance said with a shrug.
“Thank you Human Friend LaChance,” Twistunder said.
The Undulate settled down on the human’s legs as LaChance leaned back and resumed reading. Thinking about human behavior was fine and all but sunning on top of a warm mammalian muscle mass was something worth doing too. 

Thank you all so much for your updoots and feedback. It gives me the will to go on. Want to see more? Think about becoming a Patreon  Tea refuses to buy itself and the more time one has to spend on a day job the less time there is for befuddled aliens. 

First off this dog is not a digger. That is important. Some dogs love to dig and dig holes compulsively. This dog it too lazy to move fallen leaves most  times. 

Sometimes a dog's favorite toy has sentimental value. 
Sometimes it has actual cash value. 
Sometimes it is merely the only "toy" that can withstand his play. 
This pupper has utterly destroyed every ball, chewtoy, rawhide bone, and incidental garden tool that has gotten in his way. The only thing that survived was that big old yellow float. For dragging purposes we keep a nice cotton rope tide into the float attachments. The rope doesn't last long but it lets  him position it right where he wants it. Now is the part about digging. That dang float kept rolling away on him. So that lazy dog dug one hole the exact depth and width to keep the float immobile. He gnaws happily on the rope and keeps his favorite toy right there. Until he wants to move it. 

The rain is trading places with frost every other night and all of the mycorrhizae are going wild with mushrooms. I am reasonably sure this one is guarding a portal to fairy land in its cap. 

This might be one too. 

Big things going down over at Pateron! I have started posting Pateron only content. So far it is my primitive concept art that I use to get actual artists to draw me aliens. 
But even bigger things will be going down here on Monday. No spoilers but there will be an announcement.