Humans are Weird – Unstoppable Beep


“Following the lines I do understand that it is annoying,” Eighth Cousin said as her fingers moved quickly through the pile of assorted mechanical parts in front of her.
The soft clangs and scraping sounds echoed back from the stone walls of the buildings that half surrounded the scrap dump. The silvery light from the local star glittered down through the ever present clouds causing the unoxidized portions of the metal to glitter. She took a moment to adjust her coveralls where they tucked into her boots.
“Do you need help with that Eighth Cousin?” Seventh Sister asked, pausing where she was about to dump a container of light-weight derbies into the combustibles bin.
“No,” Eighth Cousin said with a dismissive flick of her antenna. “I am just adjusting for chafe.”
“I just can’t feel why it drives the humans quite so,” she made a vague circular gesture with a bolt, returning to the previous topic.
“Frantic?” Seventh Sister asked.
“Frantic,” Eighth Cousin confirmed with a grateful bob of her head.
They worked in silence for a few moments, pondering the question, only quiet clanking of the assorted scrap metal as the pile was sorted piece by piece.
“It is a very specially cultivated sound. It’s supposed to make humans all stressed and alert because of fire,” Seventh Sister proposed. “Perhaps our tympanic organs just don’t get stressed the same way.”
“That would be our nerves,” Eighth Cousin corrected, “and our tympanic organs are even more sensitive than theirs.”
Seventh Sister cut her mandibles over that for several long moments.
“Maybe it just isn’t the sound that is so bad for the humans,” she said. “Maybe it is why the sound that is bother them.”
Eighth Cousin waited for her to finish the thought be Seventh Sister clearly thought that what she had said was explanation enough as her gloved fingers tossed various wires into a bin. Eighth Cousin very deliberately rotated her head to the side in a demand for further explanation. Seventh Sister started in surprise and settled back on her hind legs, her mandibles working and her antennas coiling as she worked the idea into words.
“Second Brother,” she began and then hesitated, “the human Second Brother I mean. The one in charge of the human lights and sounds and stuff. He is the one in charge of fixing the problem, of making the alert sound stop.”
Seventh Sister stopped and mulled again as she pulled a steel rod out of the pile and laid it with others like it.
“Third Mother let me be his helper yesterday,” she curled her antenna in frustration, “he complained lots.”
“Human Second Brother doesn’t enjoy the work he was assigned?” Eight Cousin asked in surprise.
“No!” Seventh Sister flapped her frill in denial. “He had lots of fun, we had lots of fun trying to solve the problems. He let me reline the circuits. They mad this fun click-click sound and he laughed! He didn’t complain about the work at all!”
“Then what was he complaining about?” Eighth Cousin asked.
“He complained a lot about how we still didn’t know why the bad sounds started,” Seventh Sister said. “He kept talking about how the sounds just started, and the auto-cleaning robots started singing the power song, and how the medical tool all couldn’t talk to each other, and how the sound makers all made funny sounds, and now all of that stopped except the bad fire sensors keep making the alarms go and how it just-”
Seventh Sister curled her antenna tight in thought and Eighth Cousin had to fight back an adoring croon. Technically Seventh Sister was now in her first adult molt, but she still, moved and spoke like a child in many ways.
“He doesn’t complain about changing the power things, or aligning the wires, or even working after sundown,” she finally said. “He likes that part. He complained, he said, ‘Listen Squirt, everything went haywire on the farm and we. Don’t. Know. Why!’ and he thumped me here when he said each word!” She pointed to her chest, her frill raising in astonishment.
Eighth Cousin fought back a click of amusement.
“I mean the last three words he did!” Seventh Sister went on, “and then he said a lot of complaints! But it was all about how we didn’t know why the stuff went...haywire.”
Seventh Sister fell silent as she worked a particularly difficult tangle of wires out of the pile.
“So Human Second Brother doesn’t mind that his duties have been compounding due to the mysterious incident,” Eighth Cousin summarized. “He minds that we still haven’t figured out what caused it.”
“Yes!” Seventh Sister exclaimed, “and that doesn’t make sense. I mean the alarms are annoying but nothing bad happened. The health and safety systems didn’t fail, not enough to hurt anybody. It hasn’t even happened again! So why would Human Second Brother-”
“And the rest of the humans,” Eighth Cousin pointed out.
“And the rest of the humans,” Seventh Sister accepted, “be so worried about something that has only happened once!”
“Well Shatar aren’t particularly fond of things that we don’t understand affecting our machines either,” Eighth Cousin pointed out gently.
“But we don’t just complain about if for days!” Seventh Sister protested.
“I suppose that might be the alarms that keep going off,” Eighth Cousin pointed out. “Maybe the constant stimulation of the fear response with nothing to be afraid of is irritating their curiosity?”
Eighth Cousin’s comm chirped, a strange tinny chirp that signaled a system that hadn’t quite recovered from the mysterious system glitch.
“Time to head back to the garden Little One,” Eighth Cousin stated, standing and adjusting her coveralls a final time.
They gathered up their tools and closed the bins against rain. Eighth Cousin fought back a click of amusement as Seventh Sister wrestled with her basket of ‘finds’ filled with everything that had caught the eye of an eager young one. They made the long walk along the stone wall to the access door and it opened to let them in. Seventh Sister’s antenna immediately perked up at the silence that met them. Eighth Cousin saw the pleased question form on her mandibles before a frill curling sound vibrated out of the walls and they both winced back.
The sound of frantic human language came dimly to them through the vents and Eighth Cousin tilted her head over to Seventh Sister.
“Was that a call for help?” Eighth Cousin asked.
Seventh Sister curled her antenna in negation and her frill flushed in embarrassment.
“He told me those were not polite words,” she explained, “and he wouldn’t explain them to me without the agreement of all the Mothers and Fathers of the hive. They just mean he is frustrated.”
“Well,” Eighth Cousin said with an irritated click. “I hope he figures out how to silence the alarms soon.”
“Even if he does he will still want to know why they went bad in the first place,” Seventh Sister stated.
“Well he can worry that brush himself,” Eighth Cousin said firmly. “We have our own tangles to mind.”

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Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 180 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
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QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $60 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
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  Humans are Weird – Pop Hist

The main kitchens on Furlong base was filled with steam that beaded on Quilx’tch’s chelicerae, leaving a pleasant taste of salt and spices. The pots in front of him gurgled and hissed as the heat and the water broke down the tough native plants into an edible form. Beyond his corner the larger pots the humans used sent out deeper, resonant sounds as the evening’s ‘stew’ boiled off enough water to reach the desired viscosity. A large white blur swept past as Quilx’tch’s platform rumbled with the double beat of the human cook’s footfalls. 
Quilx’tch lifted the lid off the pot in front of him and ladled out a bit of the decoction. He swirled the amber liquid in the ladle bowl until it had cooled enough for him to take a sip.
“Not quite done,” he clicked thoughtfully to himself.
The chief cook for the Trisk scuttled up out of the mist behind him carrying three armfuls of dried rocket leaf and a bag of mineral salts. The cook began lifting the lids and tossing in salt crystals and handfuls of rocket leaf to what Quilx’tch seemed at random. The cook most have noticed Quilx’tch’s attention because he tilted his body to angle a secondary eye at him and his mandibles quirked in amusement.
“Is there a problem?” the cook asked in an obviously amused tone.
Quilx’tch fought down a sigh.
“Don’t you measure the weight of the ingredients?” he asked.
“What good would that do?” the cook asked as he tossed in a particularly large gripper of herb, “this rocket leaf is wild gathered and the actual nutrient content varies widely from leaf to leaf.”
Quilx’tch decided the argument wasn’t worth the effort. There was no way that a visiting nutritional anthropologist was going to change the mind of a senior swarm cook, and rotated his full attention back to his one small cauldron.
Shortly however the energy of the kitchens changed. The resonant bubbling of the giant cooking pots ceased and the space was filled with bangs and thumps as the giant bipeds shifted from preparation to serving. Their individual footsteps were soon lost in the general rumble as the teams of rangers who had been outdoors for the majority of the day taking samples of various invertebrate species returned and swarmed the mess hall. Quilx’tch observed all of this with just a tuft of hair as his decoction was fairly close to his desired results.
The chief cook came up beside him and held out a gripper for a taste. He lifted the ladle Quilx’tch handed him to his balding chelicerae and sipped delicately. His hairs twitched thoughtfully and he glanced at Quilx’tch with more speculation than approval in his expression.
“As far as I can tell this tastes exactly the same as every other ration decotion,” he said.
“That is the excellent!” Quilx’tch explained. “I was attempting-”
They were interrupted by a sudden pounding on the door. They both turned their bodies to glance at it but the cook gestured for Quilx’tch to return to his work.
“Some human wanting more salt than is good for them probably,” the cook remarked with a sigh as he scuttled towards the door.
Quilx’tch turned back to his cauldron and turned off the heat. He went to the cupboards and selected the appropriate volume of storage containers. He was just beginning the transfer when the cook came back with a perplexed look in his eyes and his mandibles twitching with amusement.
“Was it a salt seeking human?” Quilx’tch asked, mildly curious.
“In one paw,” the cook offered.
“The humans was looking for more than just salt?” Quilx’tch asked. “Or do you mean that there was more than just a human looking for salt?”
“I’m not exactly sure about that,” the cook admitted as he turned the heat down on his long line of cauldrons. “The human was really eager, frantic, for something I’d never heard of. I told him the human dinner was ready and he just seemed irritated.”
“What did he ask for?” Quilx’tch asked growing more interested as he packed away his last container into the refrigerator.
“Potato chips,” the cook said hissing the unfamiliar words thoughtfully over his mandibles.
“Ah,” Quilx’tch bobbed his abdomen in understanding. “A carbohydrate dense fat and salt carrier. I have had multiple chances of tasting them on human worlds. Quite nutrient empty and they take up massive amount of cargo space so few ships carry them. They should have established a potato crop on this planet by now however.”
“That’s it then,” the cook said with a boob of his abdomen, “subsurface fungal growths prevented all tuber growth. It has my human colleagues all joint stiff. Until they can breed a proper growth culture they have to make due with surface grains.”
“Unfortunate for our chip seeking friend,” Quilx’tch said. “He will have to let the craving go unsatisfied.”
The cook let out an explosive click of derisive amusement at that.
“You are new to these out of the way planets then?” he asked.
“Hardly,” Quilx’tch said, more than a touch offended.
“Whatever you say,” the cook said with a dismissive wave. “There is “a guy” on the base as the humans phrase it. I directed this human to the guy I know. He will get his potato chips. If he is willing to barter.”
The cook turned to decanting his own more freestyle decoctions.
“Did the human say why he was craving the chips?” Quilx’tch asked.
“I think he did,” the cook said. “I didn’t pay too much attention.”
Quilx’tch fought down exasperation. His curiosity was his own issue. He bade a polite farewell to the cook and skittered out into the main dining hall. By this time the hungry humans had settled down to their various boiled greens, heated meats, and stewed legumes and the main sounds of the room were the grinding of their teeth and the scraping of the chairs on the floor as the massive bipeds shifted. Quilx’tch worked his way along the spider walk that ran around the room examining the few humans in his sight range until he spotted one sitting at a distinctly different angle than the rest. The human was holding a reflective bag and lifting individual chips to his mouth one at a time.
Quilx’tch gave a satisfied click when he saw how close to the wall the human was sitting. He closed the distance between them and called out to the human. The human didn’t seem to notice so Quilx’tch called out the greeting again. The biped glanced around in perplexity before his bifocal eyes rested on Quilx’tch.
“Hey,” the human lifted a potato chip in greeting and his face lit up with a smile.
“Greetings Human Friend,” Quilx’tch said. “I was wondering if you could answer a professional question for me?”
“If I can,” the human said before placing the chip in his mouth and reaching back into the bag only to glance down at it with a look of disappointment in his face.
“The cook stated that you were experiencing an intense craving for potato chips after returning from the day’s work,” Quilx’tch said. “Would you mind sharing what inspired this?”
The human’s face twisted into a rueful grimace as he tapped the open bag against his palm and then licked at the contents that fell out.
“You know the bug samplers?” the human asked.
Quilx’tch had to ponder this a bit but he did remember a discrete tool used in the invertebrate sampling procedure.
“The sealed containers the crew was using to hold the captured invertebrates?” He asked.
“Those are them,” the human said with a tired nod. “We just switched to using them today. Every time, every single time, someone opened one it made that little pop that a sealed bag of chips does.”
“Tough luck for you Pavlov!” the nearest human said with a laugh. “How much did Three Fingered Pete soak you for those.”
The human sent a glare at his companion but returned his attention to Quilx’tch.
“So yeah,” the human continued. “After a day of listening to that sound I just had to have some potato chips.”
“Thank you for the explanation Human Friend Pavlov,” Quilx’tch said.
The other human, and several others burst out laughing at that and even the one he was addressing looked amused.
“My name’s not Pavlov,” the human said. “It’s Bobby. Bobby St. James.”
“Then why did-” Quilx’tch began glancing at the still laughing humans to the side.
“Look,” Human Friend Bobby said getting up, “I’ll explain it after I get some real food if you have the time. That’s a long story.”

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What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 180 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
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QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $60 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
AMAZON

 Humans are Weird – Don’t Try This At Home


“And we are just going to surrender this base to those impermanent mammals?” Flume demanded lashing his tail in frustration against the untextured wall of the base. “After all the grain we have poured into the funnel here? Is it an economically sound, no, is it a morally sound decision to abandon the investment our families worked so hard to initiate? Shouldn’t we at least consider a cohabitative experiment? It worked well for the Trisk.”
Commander Millrace gave a grunt of irritation and opened his wide mouth to snap out the exact same reply to the exact same complaint for the fifth time since the announcement had been posted this morning. However his better minerals stopped him and he heaved a sigh. Instead of speaking he lifted his tail and flicked one of the toggles set in the wall.
Flume jumped back as the sound of straining gears and struggling engines whined out of the wall and reverberated through the office. Flume opened his mouth, probably to ask about what horrible malfunction was causing that noise and to insist that the function be terminated. However before he could fill his lungs there was a crack as of glass snapping which caused them both to flinch back as the greater portion of the wall began to slowly raise revealing, instead of the transparent window, layer upon layer of glittering crystal growths.
“Grind,” Commander Millrace swore softly as he extended one stubby claw to prod at a shattered crystal growth. “It’s made it inside after all.”
“What are those?” Flume gasped out between teeth agape with shock.
“Ice crystals,” Commander Millrace stated with a tired sigh as he turned and began rummaging through his desk for the directed personal heater one of the humans had gifted him.
“How did they form?” Flume demanded, squirming back from the roiling mass of cold air that was creeping down the window now that the interior shutters had been raised. “The temperature should be constant in the base. Why-”
“Thermal gradient,” Commander Millrace grunted out. “It’s warm enough in here, could hatch a decent egg in the cafeteria, but out there?”
He aimed the heater at the growths on the window and slowly the crystals turned transparent and began to evaporate under the flow of hot air.
“Out there, it’s thirty below crystallization,” he stated, snapping his teeth grimly as the exterior yard of the base came into view.
The crystallized water covered, and invaded everything. Every transport was coated in a white frosting. Thermal covers that they had wrapped equipment in had split and cracked exposing sensitive equipment to winds that were heavy with icy particulate matter. The safety lights sent out pale beams through their cold coatings. The very ground it self, paths they had smoothed to run their belly scutes over had heaved up and warped, revealing tiered pillars of ice that broke off into razor sharp fragment when you tried to move.
Commander Millrace kept the directed heater running long after the section of the window was clear to battle the cold that far exceed the thermal rating of the window’s material. Flume stared out at the dangerous landscape and ground his teeth uneasily as he processed what he was seeing.
“Why didn’t the initial scouts report this?” he asked finally.
“The humans seem to think all this is the result of some volcano or the other” Commander Millrace said. “The area probably was plenty warm with the scouts came through. The humans say it should warm up soon because the hydrostorms cleanse the skies quick.”
“How soon is soon?” Flume asked with an uneasy glance at his commander. “The humans often have strange measurement systems.”
“Few local years,” the commander replied.
“Surviving here a few local years does not seem terribly difficult,” Flume stated cautiously. “Yes this is,” he glanced out the window and visibly shuddered, “distressing, but surely the resources on this planet are worth making a cooperative effort with the humans. They are more than willing and – what is that one doing?”
Commander Millrace grunted and lifted his head to get a better look at the human who had just skipped out of the air lock. The seemingly frolicsome nature of the biped’s movement was encumbered by a massive canister held under one arm and a much smaller bucket held in the other. The human reached the central safety light that provided for the main path and set down the two items.
“What is it doing outside?” Flume demanded. “There can’t be any scheduled maintenance that can’t be put off before the local sunrise!”
Commander Millrace turned to his counsel and pulled up the schedule for the day.
“Recreation,” he stated before coming back to crouch beside Flume.
“That is one of our hydrothermal tanks!” Flume suddenly observed. “It’s fully activated and at full capacity!”
Commander Millrace squinted and gave a respectful click. There was no way he could have read the indicator lights at this distance. The airlock opened again and a clawcluster of humans came stumbling out with their bizarre two-legged gate. Commander Millrace wasn’t an expert at reading the mammals’ tail flicks but from the way they bumped into each other they seemed excited. They reached the human with the hydrothermal canister and separated into an observation semi-circle that seemed centered neither on the first human nor the canisters but the safety light. The first human pulled something out of the pocket of his thermal armor and waved it around in the air.
“What does he have? Commander Millrace asked.
“I can’t quite tell,” Flume admitted. “Some small human device?”
Suddenly there was a ping from the counsel and Commander Millrace glanced back at it curiously. Outside the human with the device was gesturing and the other humans were rotating their semi-circle in response.
“Who is starting a private video broadcast this early in the work cycle?” Flume asked.
“Those humans,” Commander Millrace answered as his pupils narrowed in surprise.
“The video is labeled pretty lights,” Flume observed.
Commander Millrace pulled up the video on his data pad and they listened to the human, he thought it was the first one, chattering in it’s own language. The automatic translator was spitting out what seemed to be a list of safety permutations having to do with human skin tolerances for high temperature water. Commander Millrace felt his scales tense with sudden undefined unease.
“The video is on a slight delay,” Flume stated. “They are actually filling the bucket with boiling water, what-?”
His question was cut off with a gurgle of panicked shock as the human flung the bucket of boiling water into the air over the other humans’ heads. However the water turned instantly to a glittering crystal fog that caught the pale beam of the safety light and shattered it into rainbows. There was the faint sound of cheering from the grouped humans as the low wind whisked the fog away from them, down the open end of their semi-circle. A few moments later the cheers were echoed in the video.
Commander Millrace and Flume stared out at them in shocked contemplation for several moments. Finally Flume shifted uneasily.
“I reframe my question,” he said in subdued tones. “Is it a morally responsible decision to leave those unstable mammals unsupervised on such a dangerous world?”
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What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 180 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $60 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
AMAZON

Kaiju No. 8 Chapter 66 Full Spoilers Review & Analysis - The Ghost in the Shrine-Battle on the Rocks
Youtube
 https://youtu.be/6gA0FFwxS0Q
BitChute
https://www.bitchute.com/video/wTNTRdcvYewX/ 
Odysee
https://odysee.com/@BettyAdams:5/kaiju-no.-8-chapter-66-full-spoilers:e 
Rumble
https://rumble.com/v1bs210-kaiju-no.-8-chapter-66-full-spoilers-review-and-analysis-the-ghost-in-the-s.html  
Veoh
https://www.veoh.com/watch/v1422100414mtRzfyK 

#ShonenJump #Manga #KN8 #KafkaHibino #ViceCaptainHoshina

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What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 180 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $60 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
AMAZON

 Humans are Weird – What a Tree


The glittering night sky domed over the last garden gate as Third Sister flicked her antenna in yet another futile attempt to catch the pheromones of Tenth Cousin and gave another futile press at the radio in her hand. It clicked obligingly as it sent out the attention call, but the only response was an answering click from the creature casually munching on droppings at her feet.
The most adventurous of the cousins by far, it certainly wasn’t unusual for Tenth Cousin to linger out beyond their Fathers’ garden for hours at a time. The land around the civilized gardens was remarkably safe for a colony world of such a small population. Sparse forests were filled with small and low energy herbivores which posed little threat to a grown Shatar. The multitudinous parasites that kept their numbers in checks were more likely to be beneficial to a Shatar than otherwise. Still the fact that Tenth Cousin had stated her return time and had gone past it was concerning.
“That human is absorbing into her membrane,” Third Sister said in a fretful tone, reaching down to stroke the broad head of Skitters.
She instantly felt her frill flush with amused embarrassment and Skitters tilted its head and turned it bulbous central eye on her. It’s stubby pseudo-antenna twitched as it detected her distress.
“Nothing is wrong,” she assured it with another stroke down it’s elongated thorax. “I was just rather forcibly touched by a rather amusing bit of hypocrisy. If carelessness of schedule is evidence of human contamination, then speaking to a non-sapient domestic lifeform is far more of a symptom.”
“Well as long as you aren’t conversing with him,” came a sudden voice from the radio in the husky rolling tones of a mammal.
“Third Brother,” Third Sister answered, unable to hide the relief in her voice. “Is Tenth Cousin with you?”
“Sure is!” the human answered. “She’s been a real help today! Sorry we’re so late. We’re just coming over the last big hill. We should be in sight of the garden gate in about twenty degrees!”
Third Sister fought down a surge of irritation and clenched her mandibles on a harsh reprimand. Traveling on foot the time was unavoidable and by the time she could ask one of the Aunts to activate a transport and get out to them they would be almost home. Again she reminded herself that even if there was a danger to a full grown Shatar in the open forests it was more than mitigated by they massive mammal.
“Make sure to have Third Cousin check you for parasites when you get home,” she finally clicked out, giving herself a nice compromise between wanting to pinch his antenna and knowing that she had no real authority over the human.
“Will do!” he replied. “No one wants a repeat of the Koala-Tick incident. Over!”
Third Sister felt a shudder run up her abdomen at the memory of the time the mammal had failed to detect the alien parasite. No matter how many times she reminded herself that the human had suffered little harm from the membrane puncture and the blood loss she just couldn’t get the memory to shed. Skitters turned away from the Koala droppings and rubbed his head against her lagging leg with a soothing series of clicks. She reached down and idly rubbed behind his antenna.
She took a deep breath and rolled her head, stretching out her frill to its full extent.
“Come on Skitters,” she said. “We better head in and see if Third Father needs help with the baskets.”
Skitters hopped after her as she left the garden gate behind.
She had finished stacking the fruit baskets and had begun gathering tomorrow’s greens when she heard the gate click with far more force than was necessary. The human’s voice soon was audible. Third Brother was speaking in a low but enthusiastic voice, presumably to Tenth Cousin. Third Sister caught a few words that she vaguely recalled from her basic botany classes. An image of a wild lichen clinging to the side of a tree presented itself to her imagination and she wondered what the human could find so fascinating about it. The two rounded a corner and a rather drooping Tenth Cousin flicked her antenna at Third Sister in greeting.
“How was your day?” Third Brother demanded without preamble.
“Longer than I prefer,” Third Sister snapped.
The human had the grace to look embarrassed and glanced at the drooping Tenth Cousin with a guilty look.
“Sorry about that,” he began, “I was examining some tracks-”
Third Sister tilted her head at him sternly and he closed his mouth quickly.
“Good night!” he said, giving Tenth Cousin a parting pat on the head and stumbled quickly off towards his hut.
Third Sister stood from where she had been crouching over the greens patch and tucked what she had already gathered into her bag. Skitters hopped up to greet Tenth Cousin eagerly.
“Did he collect any parasites today?” She asked.
Tenth Cousin flared her frill in exasperation and held out a specimen container.
“He had collected six blood sucking parasites and ten interstitial fluid sapping parasites!” she exclaimed.
Third Sister clicked in surprise.
“That is quite the haul even for Third Brother,” Third Sister observed. “Did he forget to bind his limbs properly?”
“No,” Tenth Cousin replied as they walked into the center of the garden. “He spent the whole day wrapped around this one tree. It was covered in lichen and the leaf eaters he calls the gecko-mice had a colony there. He was following their tracks through the lichen. They kept dropping parasites down the back of his neck.”
They fell silent and Third Sister pondered that information. She tried to imagine how a mammal that massive could “follow” the tracks of a creature a thousandth of his mass. She supposed he had traced them with those binocular eyes that rolled around in their socket. Her antenna started to ache with the effort and she sighed and rubbed her forehead.
“Did any of the parasites survive?” she asked.
“I don’t think so,” Tenth Cousin said, giving the specimen container a speculative shake. “One of the blood suckers was still pulsing when I pulled it off but it went still pretty quick.”
Third Cousins mind wandered back to the human’s behavior despite her best efforts.
“He spent an entire afternoon studying one tree,” she said slowly. “How did he not get bored?”
“I don’t know,” Tenth Cousin admitted, “I was quite ready to leave.”
“Humans,” Third Sister muttered.

Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 2nd book! 
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What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 180 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
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QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $60 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
AMAZON