Betty Adams Tall Tales
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Humans are Weird - Candles

4/30/2018

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Humans are Weird – Candles

When Five-Forty-Trills flew into the base security office he was not expecting to see the current security officer pointedly ignoring a fire alarm.
“Officer Seventy-Seven-Clicks?” Five-Forty-Trills demanded. “There is a fire in the human’s compartment of the base.”
“I am aware,” the officer waved the statement away with a flick of his wing without lifting his eyes from a readout of the exterior fences.
“Well?” Five-Forty-Trills demanded.
The officer nudged a datapad with his wingclaw and returned to his perusal of the readouts. Five-Forty-Trills picked up the datapad and activated it. The text scrolled slowly across the screen.
It is a candle.
The human in the room is using it to meditate.
Staring at the flame is supposed to help the human ‘clear her mind’.
It will not affect the oxygen balance in the base.
I have gotten the human to sign a document saying she will not leave the open flame unattended.
If any further action is required some other deluded sap can waste their breath arguing with the human.
Five-Forty-Trills wrinkled his brows in irritation. He had been warned that prolonged exposure to humans was detrimental to protocol but this was his first personal experience with it. He sighed and shifted his wings on his back. The ‘candle’ flame wasn’t really a threat but it was so unnecessary. Five-Forty-Trills weighed the trouble of confronting the human against the danger of setting the precedence of letting candles burn. 
“You really don’t want to,” Seventy-Seven-Clicks said, seeming to sound his depth without even looking at him.
Five-Forty-Trills sighed again. He was probably right. 
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Off to Work We Go!

4/29/2018

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Things that get strange looks.
A 30 something in a battered hoodie jumping rope (a very pink jump rope) in the middle of a parking lot surrounded by eight feet of snow on either side. (Acclimating to elevation is important but not always dignified.) 
Walking into a break room where nobody knows you and helping yourself to the tea kettle. (Seasonal work.) 
Saying 'Hi' enthusiastically to that guy you've worked with for six seasons and then pausing awkwardly because neither of you remember's the others' name. You are both aware of this. Neither wants to be the first to ask. (Nick? Mal? Nat?) Oh well, tomorrow we will all have name tags on. 
Rolling around in the snow with a pair of friendly huskies. (Hey dude. I don't care if we've never met. It has been four seconds and your dogs like me and I like them.) 
Talking animatedly with your favorite trees. (Oh! Who is strong enough to not get flattened by the snow this year? You are! Who's a good conifer?) 
Dancing to classic country music in the snow shelter. (The acoustics are amazing in big log cabins.) 
​

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Friends in all Sizes

4/27/2018

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As mosquito season approaches I am reminded that spiders are our friends.
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Ball Bearings and Kidneys

4/25/2018

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Ball bearings are a lot like kidneys. 
You never want you see yours outside of where they belong and if you do you know expensive things are coming. 
On that note it is amazing to have family with vehicles of similar cargo capacity who will loan them to you. 
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Humans are Weird IRL 3 - Adventures in a Nursing Home

4/24/2018

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A fried of mine dies her hair bright colors, partly to ensure the astigmatic residents of the assisted living community she works at can recognize her easily. She is a favorite of the residents and they really like her. she is also very feminine and pretty but nursing scrubs are not meant to accentuate curves of any sort. She recently had to cut her hair short to switch from a bright red to a different color as her roots grew out. One of her longtime residents came up to her after the trim and they had a normal conversation. Normal right up to the end when he gave her a hearty clap on the shoulder. 
"You know," he said with a satisfied nod, "with a face like yours a nice lad like you could get any girl he wanted!"
A slightly better sighted resident gasps at him in horror and the friend  tries not to die laughing. 
"I'll keep that in mind." She said seriously. 
"What was your name again?" He asked brightly. 
"Sally," she answered after a moment's hesitation. 
"Good, good," he muttered as he turned to walk away, then paused as a confused frown crossed his face. "Wait? Sally?" He gasped as memory returned. 
She smiled and let the laughter before she ruptured any important organs. 
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Relevant Chickens

4/23/2018

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In light of yesterday's post this just seems very relevant. 
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Series Review - DANGER WILL ROBINSON

4/22/2018

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Series  Review – DANGER WILL ROBINSON! (Lost in Space 2018)


​Remakes are always suspicious to dedicated fans, and there are few fandoms more dedicated than those of classic golden and silver age science fiction. However perhaps the sting is not so bad when a remake, of a remake, of a remake, of a classic is once more, remade.
As the first years of the 1800’s rolled past, high in the cold mountains of Switzerland a father watches his sons growing in what is possibly the safest, most developed country in Europe. He is concerned about their dependence on modern technology and their seeming apathy towards natural science. Perhaps it is because of how utterly uninteresting the current teaching methods make this most crucial of sciences. The father decides to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. He takes up his pen and begins to write.  One son illustrate the book, another edited and published it.
The resulting work, “The Swiss Family Robinson” would remain in print for nearly a century and a half, being translated into many different languages, before Disney got his mitts on it. The resulting movie of the same name became a classic, installing itself in the hearts and minds of the world. Five years later Irwin Allen would take that fertile material and produce the first “Lost in Space” series. Like the Disney movie “Lost in Space” became a beloved classic to multiple generations. In the 90’s there was an attempt at a big screen movie that had the concept and the flash but missed the heart. Now Netflix has stepped into the twenty year void and taken up the heart of the two century old franchise.  After watching the first season (binging actually) this author things that heart is in good hands.
This show is so good that even a diehard fan of the 1965 show like me didn’t mind the changes, and there were a lot of changes.



SPOILERS



First and foremost the Robinsons are not actually lost in space for the majority of the first season. Judy is a half-sibling. Debbie is not a chimp. Dr. Smith is a plot twist that really must be learned by watching the show. The robot is, well the robot is a meme unto himself on the internet at the moment but its catch phrase is still the same.
Like the original work there are lessons in science and natural history wrapped in adventure. While the science is usually good there are a few issues. A coprolite with fragments of every known fauna species in it suggests a scavenger, NOT an apex predator. The issue of why there are examples of both temperate and tropical rainforest biomes in the same place could use a little more explanations. There is a very good reason they couldn’t harvest the ell’s food (nutrient gradient folks) but it is never addressed in show and should have been. Otherwise it is a fun science romp.
The relationships are real and natural. Though the question of why no one has at least slapped Dr. Smith yet stands. The feel is wholesome and engaging at the same time. The visuals are stunning (not really hard in British Columbia). All told this is a great series that will find a solid place in the heart of the fandom and beyond. 
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Friday Feeling

4/20/2018

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Friday rolls around and it is time to lie down and sleep.
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Warm Like a Kitten

4/19/2018

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On a warm spring day remember to stretch out in the sun. Cats are onto something. 
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First Star

4/18/2018

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Remember that children's poem?

Starlight, star bright,
First star I see tonight.
May I wish., may I might,
Have the wish I wish tonight? 

The one thing that irritated me as a kid was that you actually had to catch the first star to make it work. I never could seem to notice the first star before there were a dozen in the sky and everyone knows that star contracts are null and void if you try to invoke one after the other stars come out. Only the first one will do. It makes me wonder. 

Was that poem started as a way for parents to keep their children mindful of the time before watches were a thing children could carry out into their play? 
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    Betty Adams is an up and coming author with a bent for science and Sci-fi.

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  • Home
    • Book 1 "Humans are Weird: I Have the Data"
    • Book 2 "Humans are Weird: We Took a Vote"
    • Book 3 "Humans are Weird: Let's Work It Out"
    • "Dying Embers"
    • Testimonials
  • The Aliens
    • Dying Embers
    • Humans Are Weird
    • Miscellaneous
    • Fan Art
  • Betty's Blog
    • Humans Are Weird
  • Store: Betty's Booty
  • About & Contact
    • Bibliography
    • Links