Humans are Weird – Much in Common

​“It is a shame,”  Rollsaround commented as he swam easily along the aquatic third of the corrider .
“What’s a shame Rolls?” Human Friend Gabby asked.
“That you and the only other human on base have so little in common,” Rollsaround said in a sad tone.
Gabby’s bipedal, falling tread caught and then stopped as she glanced at him. Her face contorted in confusion wrinkles and her head tilted to the side as she tried to fix her hearing on him.
“Say what now?” she finally articulated.
He rolled and swam back to her. He thrust over half of his mass out of the water so she could hear him more clearly.
“I said, it is a shame that you and the only other human on base have so little in common,” he repeated.
“Alex?” Human Friend Gabby said. “What are you talking about we have tons in common.”
“Really?” Rollsaround stiffened in surprise.
“We are the same age,” Gabby said holding up one of her adorably short segmented hand appandages. “We have basically the same higher education degree. Heck, just having a degree gives us a lot more in common than most humans. We have basically the same ethnic makeup. She dresses and grooms basically the same way that I do. Honestly I’m thinking of having our genetics compared because it wouldn’t surprise me at all if we were fairly close cousins one way or another. We have tons in common. What on Earth gave you the idea we didn’t have much in common?”
“But,” Rollsaround gave a frustrated roll. “You argue over every topic you discuss.”
Gabby narrowed the fleshy flaps over her binocular eyes and pressed the fleshy flaps over her teeth. 
“That?” She finally asked. “That is just more of us being the same. We have the same contrary sense of humor. You have noted that most of our contradictory statements are utterly, well mad basically.”
“I had noted,” Rollsaround said cautiously. “I assumed your fury with each other simply impaired your reasoning capacity.”
“Huh,” Human Friend Gabby’s stripes flushed with a sudden concern. “If it’s freaking out the base I suppose we can rein it in.”
“That might be advisable,” Rollsaround admitted.
“Well thanks for bringing it up Rolls,” Human Friend Gabby said with a wave. “I wouldn’t have wanted our verbal sparring to interfere with the function of the base. Someone might have called in the counselors or some nonsense like that.”
“We wouldn’t want that,” Rollsaround said quickly. “I will see you tomorrow Human Friend Gabby.”
He ducked under the surface of the water and accelerated towards his office. He might be just in time to delete the message to the Core Intraspecies Counseling Office before the next data dump. 

Humans are Weird – Have a Nice Trip


“Human Friend Steve?”  Rollsaround asked  cautiously.
The human had just folded himself around a piece of furniture called a chair and was staring intently at another human across the room. Human Friend Steve was also vibrating. This might be a sign of either distress or suppressed humor. The way his face was warped, revealing his disturbingly sharp flesh rending teeth, suggested the latter but Rollsaround wanted to be sure.
“Yeah Rolls?” Human Friend Steve replied without turning his eyes away from the other human.
“Are you amused?” Rollsaround asked.
“I am sure about to be,” Human Friend Steve replied, his entire body hitching up as he surprised his laughter.  
“Pardon my ignorance,” Rollsaround pressed. “You are displaying symptoms of humor now…are you not amused?”
Human Friend Steve glanced at him and the rings of exposed muscle in his eyes relaxed in the sign that his focus was turned towards his core.
“Well,” he said slowly. “I did a thing, that will result  in my being amused, and so I am forecasting the result of my actions in my head, and amused at that…anticipatory amusement I guess.”
“May I ask what this action was,” Rollsaround asked. “So that I may share in this anticipatory amusement?”
The muscle rings tightened again as Human Friend Steve focused on him and the vibrations stilled as he turned thoughtful.
“Better not,” Human Friend Steve said slowly. “Plausible deniability and all that. Just enjoy it when it happens.”
Human Friend Steve’s eyes and attention turned back to the human he was watching and Rollsaround mulled over his words. The Undulates appendages tightened in concern.
“Human Friend Steve,” he finally asked. “Do you mean-“
His question was cut off as the other human stood, and the slow, constant fall that formed the species distinctive locomotion cut to one swift fall and the human’s massive body impacted the floor with a shock that was probably felt over the entire base.  The human gave one or two great gasps of air.
“I’m fine!” the human announced to the room at large. “Fine.”
Human Friend Steve was bent double with laughing and slapping his legs.
“That human normally speaks in a much lower register,” Rollsaround noted. “Perhaps their self diagnosis is faulty?”
“Really,” the human gasped. “I’m fine.”
His voice was quickly lowering to a normal pitch, but it suddenly increased in volume.
“Slag it all-Steve!” the other human roared out as he struggled to a sitting position.
“Can’t prove it was me,” Human Friend Steve sang out in a cheerful tone. “Besides, if you wear lace up boots in this day and age you have to expect the consequences!”
“I’ll show you consequences!” the other human positively roared as his fingers worked the ties to his boots.
“See you around Rolls!” Human Friend Steve called out as he rose from his chair. “I suddenly feel that the other side of the base is much healthier at the moment.” 

Humans are Weird - Due Date

“Can’t tonight Trills,” Susan said as she swept a handful of protein bars into one of her over large pockets. “I got a deadline.”

Ten-Trills ran a quick hook over his sensory horns to hide his offense. She had given him an open invitation to use her pockets for mid-day nesting and then she kept them in such disorder. It was very confusing.

“I am sorry to hear that,” Ten-Trills informed her when he had his fur smoothed. “Did the central coordinators send you another emergency packet?”

“Nah,” Susan said as she selected a rather worrying number of stimulants from those displayed on the counter. “It’s just that report on the protein yields on that hybrid from Tau Gamma Seven.”

“Were you not assigned that report six months ago?” Ten- Trills asked.

“Yeah,” Susan said as she tossed a final muffin into her pockets. “But it’s not done till tonight at midnight.”

“How much do you have left to do?” Ten-Trills asked.

“Enough to keep me busy till midnight,” Susan said as she strode out of the room. “See you tomorrow Trills.”
​
Ten-Trills watched her go as he mulled over the many recreational hours they had spent together at Susan’s behest. Hopefully there would not be too many crumbs in her pockets when she, hopefully, finished her report.