Humans are Weird – Round the Flames

​Two of the three suns had set and flames danced over the forest floor, swirled through the thick, dead grasses of the meadows, and raced across the few stubble fields of the humans. Despite their quickly depleting chlorophyll the remaining broad leaves on the trees provided an excellent view of where the flame burned or didn’t. Touches on the Extremity carefully eased tendrils up through the damp soil and duff to bask in what would be the last true warmth of the year.
In the more open grasslands that approached up the sides of the hills the fire had burned well out and the neural nodes there were carefully finding their place under the charred and tangled layers of the non-flamable portions of the native grasses. These would form the only protective cover that area had for the year and it was never a certain thing that it would be thick enough to enable a Gathering to safely pass the winter with frost to trauma damage.
The highland forest stretching up to the mountains and for kilometers along the crests of the hill was just beginning to catch light. Here, under the protection of the canopy shade and within the thermal gradients of the trees’ water wells Touches on the Extremity would be able to maintain both awareness and social interaction even without the convenience of the human habitations now scattered through the forest.
The humans themselves had abandoned the stubble fields to the flames and were intently focused on controlling the flames around their dwellings. Their significant mammalian masses were stumping around circles of intense heat as they supervised the burning of piles. Touches on the Extremity had long since pulled any living tendrils deep into the soil and could no longer directly feel the disturbances of the shallow trenches they had made in their primitive efforts to control the blaze. However the simple native mycorrhizae that caressed the roots of the great trees sent out plentiful signals that they were healing their slight damage and retreating deeper into the duff. By tasting their annoyance as the pheromones filtered down, Touches on the Extremity was easily able to trace a fairly detailed map of the shallow fire trenches.
The thumping of the humans’ bipedal weight told the Gathering where individual humans stood, or leaned against the trees even deep below the soil where pressure sensitive tendrils lay. The network of needle like leave that most of the inner trees wore did not give him nearly so clear a view of the humans as their broad-leafed cousins did, and the few, highly light sensitive, understory broadleaf shrubs that clustered near the clearings offered little perspective on the humans. Still the needle leaves were perceptive enough to note where fires actively burned verses where they did not.
All of this together gave Touches on the Extremities a very comfortable perception of the new mammalian neighbors as the day closed. The rhythm of their shuffling, stomping, treading feet was soothing. The trees sent out wave after wave of pleased hormones as the autumn fires burned away the detritus of the growth season. The entire forest began to tremble slightly as the evening wind touched its outer edges. The humans sang out one to another, warning the distant as their tended fires drank in the fresh oxygen and danced. The muffled noises reached Touches on the Extremity and awareness shifted to the flow of sounds.
It was then that a point element changed. The nearly random shuffling of bipedal feet around one of the larger branch fires suddenly became a discernible and rapid pattern. Curious, Touches on the Extremities focused leaf vision, hearing, and pressure sensitivity on the spot. It was a slow process this time of year with awareness so diffused and so many elements of the forest so sleepy. First the hot glow of the fire came into view against the already cold ashes of raked ground around it. To one side there was a scattered pile of slowly fading warmth. With focus, that resolved into cast-off human insulation layers, clothing Touches on the Extremities realized. That would mean that the mass of mammalian warmth gyrating around the heat of the fire was a human, brighter in the infrared spectrum than usual because of shedding the insulation layers.
This was unusual enough to really draw in Touches on the Extremities attention. The humans, despite their massive reserve of both bio-chemical heat and the chemicals needed to produce more, rarely exposed their skin to the temperature and flying parasites of the forest. Touches on the Extremities eased tendrils up into the cold roots of the closes broad-leafed shrubs. From wisps of retained infrared that clung to the human it slowly became clear that she had not quite forgone all the protection, leaving on a thin, membrane like layer of plant fibers. Observing that she was a known human Touches on the Extremities hard coded to learn and remember the humans’ names next spring, after a self introduction to the new arrivals.
She was not simply calling out conditions to her fellow humans, it slowly dawned on Touches on the Extremities. She was emitting low, constant sounds that sent a spark down a deep memory thread. The humans had done this before now. Memories traded lone ago activated. This was singing. Other species did this too. In that case the odd movement that had caught his attention would be dancing.
Weather or not the humans had meant to summon other humans three more slowly walked into the area of heightened perception. One of the eldest of the newly arrived humans and two younger, bringing with them a glowing orb or stores solar light. They reached the clearing where the branches burnt and stopped abruptly. The two younger humans drew in sharp gasps of air and the light from the orb reflected off of all five of their eyes as said eyes widened in response to the scene before them. The eldest human seemed to recover first.
“Mary Bell!” the human barked out. “What in tarnation are you doing!”
The dancing human stopped and for a long slow moment the four humans stared at each other without moving. Finally the dancing human, Mary Bell spoke.
“Dancing around a bonfire in my underwear,” she said.
There was another prolonged silence and the two younger new comers turned their eyes on the elder. The older human stared at Mary Bell with narrowed eyes reflecting in the firelight.
“And, why,” the older human demanded in a rough tone, “are you dancing around the bonfire in your underwear?”
This seemed to cause the younger human a moments pause but when she spoke her tones were confident.
“Cuz, the hard frost finally came and all them cussed bugs are dying off like mad!”
At this statement the hands of all four humans twitched as if to scratch at remembered bug bites. For several more moments the two younger humans stared at the older one, their feet shuffling on the ground. Finally the eldest human drew in a long breath and burst out in a harsh laugh. She tossed the light orb onto the ground and shrugged out of her heavy first layer of insulation.
“Fair nuff child,” she said. “Fair nuff.”
“What are you doing grandma?” one of the younger two asked in an uneasy tone.
“Didn’t you hear girls?” the elder woman said. “Dancing round the fire in my underwear to celebrate all the bugs dying off!”
With a mix of soft and rough laughter two dancers started round and round the fire. With some hesitation and much exchanging of wrinkled and flexing facial expressions the younger two joined them. Touches on the Extremities watched them dance around the fire in the chilling autumn air. It was a very interesting things to have neighbors on ones planet after all.  

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What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 300 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
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QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition until I run out of first run books.
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 Humans are Weird – Blood in the Water


Quilx’tch was quite muzzy from sleep and stared down in perplexity at the water catch basin in front of him. He hiked up his comforter around him, blocking off the fuzzy view of the rest of the massive cleansing room provided for human use. The catch basin really should not be that color, he finally decided, feeling a bit proud of himself for forcing the thought up through layers of sleep deprivation. A stray thought thread suggested that he really should have petitioned the central university for this sector for that assistant when he had the chance, but the blood-berries had been blooming in the south slopes and none of the preservation techniques this base had access to would have preserved the protein structures quite right.
Quilx’tch brushed the pad of one paw over his primary eyes to dismiss the stray wisps of thought.
“I’m getting as bad as Human Friend Scotty,” he said ruefully.
Another stray thought tried to lead him down the path of wondering if human behavior contain was playing a role in his current state.
“It was not as if my University time showed much better behavior,” he clicked to himself idly.
Bloodberries. Yes, the humans called them that because their eyes showed the glittering orbs as a single color. They claimed it was the same color as their primary circulatory fluid. Now, Quilx’tch wondered why he was thinking of that as he stared down at the discolored catch basin.
The material for the catch basin had been harvested from the local rocks. Human Friend Scotty had eagerly explained the process.
“We used to have to carve things like this out of larger chunks of rock,” the human had said. “Now we just grind up the fragments til we get the size we want and then we micro-compress them into shape. Folks like it because it looks like rough granite, smooth with shiny bits inside”
Quilx’tch now stared at the shiny bits visible under the coating of fluid.
“I think,” Quilx’tch said to himself, feeling a bit uneasy. “The humans would also call that blood red.”
He pondered what the substance might be as he walked across the edge of the cold catch basin to gather up his grooming brush and chelicerae pick. He gently pushed the comforter back, letting the harsh cleansing room light sting his secondary eyes as he gently brushed out his hairs. He found his gaze repeated drawn back to the layer of bio-matter, or at least he thought it was bio-matter, in the catch basin. Usually Human Friend Scotty was quite careful about cleaning up after himself. So it might not be biomatter after all. Though Quilx’tch couldn’t imagine what Human Friend Scotty would have been doing this early in the morning in the cleansing room. His grooming finished he gathered up his comforter and trotted out to the main sleeping area, massive to his scale, but seeming quite filled by the mass of the human who was currently wriggling into his day clothes.
Quilx’tch scampered over the spider-walk along the wall and tucked his comforter back into his hammock while Human Friend Scotty arranged his protective outer layers against his hairless skin. That task seemingly complete the human reached down for his foot armor and proceed with a Trisk-check. Quilx’tch couldn’t help chuckling anew at that. Why the humans were, to a person, convinced that his kind liked to hide in there foot armor was a mystery, but one that provided far too much amusement on distant base to be probed into too abruptly. That final ceremony over Human Friend Scotty set his binocular vision sniping around the room to locate him.
Quilx’tch waved to catch the humans attention.
“Tiny spider friend on his bunk,” the human stated in the dim but satisfied tone of one fulfilling a checklist.
“Human Friend Scotty,” Quilx’tch interjected.
He knew that if he did not catch the human’s attention quickly at this time of day nothing would keep the human from bolting for the coffee that was brewing in the cafeteria once Human Friend Scotty had located him.
Now the human visible paused in his preparation to lumber out the door of their room.
“What’s up little guy?” the human asked, fighting back a yawn.
“Why is the catch basin in the cleansing room the color of bloodberries?” Quilx’tch asked.
Human Friend Scotty blinked slowly as he processed the question. Then his face flexed and his chin lifted with a grin as he clearly parsed the answer.
“I forgot to rinse out the sink after brushing my teeth this morning!” he said. “Sorry bud!”
The human turned swiftly and went into the cleansing room, which soon emitted the sounds of rushing water. The human came out still grinning.
“All clean!” He declared. “Won’t happen again!”
“Thank you,” Quilx’tch said, feeling distinctly uneasy now. “However that was not my question.”
“Thecolor?” Human Friend Scotty asked in surprise. “That was just my blood.”
The human stared at him with expectancy as he waited the polite six seconds to reply. Quilx’tch felt himself “puffing up” as the humans called it and Human Friend Scotty’s expression rapidly morphed form expectant to concerned.
“Why,” Quilx’tch asked carefully, “were you bleeding into the catch basin this morning as you cleaned your teeth.”
Human Friend Scotty’s face lit up with in the way that Quilx’tch was beginning to understand meant the human had an easy answer to a question.
“You remember I accidentally broke my sonic cleaner?” he asked.
Quilx’tch replied in the affirmative. Watching the human first fumble and drop the item on the floor. Then kick it into the far wall, only to finally step on it, damaging both the device and his foot in the process had been very educational on the value of the spider walks the humans insisted on installing in jointly occupied bases.
“And I told you that I would be switching to the old fashioned method of teeth cleaning?” Human Friend Scotty went on.
“Mechanical friction and chemical layering with a brush applicator,” Quilx’tch replied, bobbing his head in a yes gesture.
“Well, you always bleed a little when you switch back,” Human Friend Scotty said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Sorry I forgot to warn you about it, and sorry I forgot to clean my blood out of the sink after.”
Human Friend Scotty seemed to consider this revelation the end of the conversation and without waiting so much as a second for a response turned and left the room, presumably in search of coffee. Quilx’tch paused, waiting for him to come back and explain...something...anything more about the situation. But the door of their room stayed stubbornly closed.
Quilx’tch took a deep breath and ran his paws over his primary eyes.
“Right,” he said to the empty air. “First I will speak to the base medic. Then breakfast.”


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What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 300 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition until I run out of first run books.
AMAZON

​ Humans are Weird – Distraction

Second Father drew in a long calming breath and fleetingly touched a mental antenna over the situation. Fourth Aunt was tending to the injuries with full competence, and if she was snipping out reprimands as fast as she was applying membrane spray there was no doubt the young one she was tending needed a bit of discipline. There were no serious injuries, thank the Mother for that, and the tangy scent of panic and fear was fast fading from the air around him even if it still permeated his membranes. The afternoon sun was slanting down through the canopy overhead and he calculated that the human children had had time to walk back to their own hive and First Grandfather would be on his way back. Second Father activated his comm unit and sent out a general ping on the adult frequency and then walked with a tired step towards the hive hearth.
By the time he arrived in the arched center of their hive Second Grandmother and Second Grandfather were already sitting on the central couch quietly chatting as they groomed each other’s antenna. They were lucky to have both of them in the hive at any time and he was grateful that they were here. Second Father curled his antenna at them respectfully and sat down on a perch some distance from them. He was fairly certain that First Mother would not attend. She was too close to laying soon, but Second Mother should be here soon and he was eager to taste his mate’s pheromones on the air. One by one the most competent members of the older generations came in and took up their places. As the light from the day outside faded the glow-nodules that stood out everywhere a set of roots crossed began to brighten the room. Second Mother arrived and flicked an antenna at him, but took a place within a cluster of Aunts. Finally First Grandfather entered and made a show of shaking the sand off of his bootings before taking his place in the center of the cluster. Triangular heads tilted and antenna perked as the attention of the room focused on the last comer. However First Grandfather only turned his head pointedly at Second Father.
“Do you care to share what you know?” First Grandfather asked as the attention refocused on Second Father.
“It is my consideration that Human Friend Second Father Brice be removed from the certified care list at community activities,” Second Father said firmly.
He could tell that First Grandfather did not like the abrupt introduction and there was a general susurration of shifting limbs and a few frills were tightly pressed to their necks in scandalized surprise. The movement increased as it generally sank in that there would be no explanation or defense until the consideration had been approved. Second Father knew that it was somewhat presumptuous of him to do this in First Father’s absence, but they were all keenly aware that the actual heads of the hive would be too busy stringing new egg lines in the garden for days to deal with the situation. There was a little discussion as the adults considered his words, most of it being questions about what had set him off and reminders that he was a very competent Second Father even if he wasn’t First Father, but finally the voices stilled and all antennas and frills showed respectful agreement, if they were a little tense with curiosity.
“First Grandfather,” Second Father began after acknowledging their acquiescence, “would you please share the beginning of the story with our hive?”
“I was napping out in the east arbor,” First Grandfather began, “when I heard the sound of something large approaching through the underbrush.”
The was a flutter of surprise and unease in the audience at that and First Grandfather held up a restraining hand.
“It was simply First Sister returning from her play time with the human children,” he quickly explained, “though I admit, I was concerned about local predators at first.”
“But she went with a handful of cousins!” a voice excliamed.
“Why were they coming through the underbrush?” Demanded Second Mother.
“How, were they coming though the underbrush?” called out a second voice.
“Didn’t that tear up their membranes?” asked another.
“Human First Brother explained that he was trailblazing to make sure she wasn’t injured,” First Grandfather explained quickly. “And he succeeded to some degree. Where he failed Fourth Aunt is treating the injuries. The human himself was rather severely scratched up in the process, though it was difficult to tell how much was from the underbrush and how much was from his previous activities. As to why…”
First Grandfather heaved a large sigh and his antenna were twitching between annoyance and amusement.
“I will let Second Father take the story from here as he interrogated the children after I procured first aid for them both.”
Second Father accepted the shift in attention and flexed his psudo-frill in preparation.
“Once the human hiveling was receiving medical care I began asking First Sister for an explanation,” his antenna flexed in rueful admiration, “she was reluctant to offer any information despite having fairly severe abrasions and laceration. However when the human First Brother saw me speaking to her he ran forward, grabbed her hand, and stated that it was his fault-”
“What was his fault?” someone asked.
“Human First Brother was not clear on that at first,” Second Father said. “On inquiry he explained that it was his idea to ‘sneak’ through the underbrush because it was a shortcut. At this point First Sister asked him about avoiding the attention of Human Second Father Brice and Human First Brother changed color a bit and admitted that that was a consideration too. I asked them why they were avoiding Human Second Father Brice and First Sister offered the information, very primly, that she had determined that she didn’t want to disturb a Father with minor injuries and just wanted to come home.”
“What injuries?” Second Mother demanded, “I thought they got the abrasions in the underbrush on the way home?”
“Just so,” Second Father went on with a grim set to his mandibles, “this was when Fourth Aunt pointed out to me that there were two distinctly different types of abrasion on both First Sister and Human First Brother. The rough lacerations from their trek through the underbrush, and a finer, denser abrasion below it. When I pressed on how the first injury happened First Sister admitted that she had been taking lessons from Human First Brother in something she called skateboarding.”
There was a general murmur of confusion and Second Father braced himself to translate Human First Brother’s enthusiastic and disjointed account of what a skateboard was. From the resulting looks of confusion and horror in his family’s responses he had at least communicated all he knew.
“According to both First Sister’s and Human First Brother’s accounts, everything went well until they attempted joint maneuvers with two boards. First Sister could not gain enough momentum with her own feet so Human First Brother offered to gift her some of his momentum.”
The was a collective wince as the twist in the story vine grew more visible.
“This too went well until the wheels, neither is quite sure whose, hit a bump,” Second Father went on. “First Sister began to topple, and might have righted herself, but Human First Brother was afraid she would hurt her joints so he pulled on her kilt to counterbalance her. Neither quite remembers what happened next but they both agree they went skidding down an adjacent slope together. Fourth Aunt assures me that First Sister’s injuries are minimal all elements considered. Apparently Human First Brother managed to keep her from contact with the ground for most of the fall.”
“She would have managed to right herself if he’d left her alone,” came a grumble.
“No doubt,” Second Father agreed, “but he didn’t know that and it was quite selfless of him to do what he did.”
“Why didn’t they just go straight to Human Second Father Brice after that?” a voice demanded.
“And that loops the vine around the point,” Second Father said drooping with a sigh. “Apparently Human Second Mother Brice had preemptively forbidden all skateboard play with our hivelings due to what she saw as obvious dangers and had instruction her mate to enforce these restrictions. Rather than return to his father and risk direct censure Human First Brother decided it was best to escort First Sister to her hive as quickly as possible.”
There was a rustle of tossed heads as a current of half-irritated, half-amused understanding ran through the gathered adults.
“Speaking of Humans Second Father Brice,” Second Mother demanded. “What was he doing this entire time?”
Second Father reached up to rub his head with a sigh.
“Offering history stories to the rest of the hivelings who went over with First Sister,” Second Father said.
“Yes,” First Grandfather said with some surprise in his voice, “he was still telling the story of the human victory on the itinerant ice world when I brought Human First Brother back to him. How did you know?”
“First Sister explained that they had needed to distract Human Second Father Brice before they could sneak off to play on the skateboards,” Second Father explained.
“So he was at least attempting to enforce it,” a voice observed.
“Yes,” Second Father agreed, “Human Second Father Brice is quite strict about rules enforcement for the most part. However Human First Brother assured her that that would not be an issue. He then asked her to prompt one of the hivelings who spoke the human language to request a story. They then waited for Human Second Father Brice to, and I quote the human child here, ‘get properly into to’, at which point the adult human was so distracted that he did not notice the two of them sneaking off.”
The hive hall resounded with reproachful clicks as the gathered adults considered, and condemned this weakness.
“Well,” Second Mother said with a decisive click. “Such an irresponsible human should not be approved to watch the hivelings!”
There was a general murmur of agreement as the gathered adults accepted the new social restriction. The task was over and almost immediately the various individuals began to drift away until only Second Mother and First Grandfather were left with him.
“So Pretty One,” First Grandfather began, reaching over to rest a hand on Second Father’s shoulder, “What do you think of Human First Brother’s story?”
Second Father fought down a wince at the nick name that dated back to his first days in the hive and pointedly ignored the amused tilt to his mate’s antenna.
“What about his story?” Second Father asked.
“Could a grown human, and a father at that,” First Grandfather asked, “really get so distracted by a question of a story that he looses track of his own offspring?”

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What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 300 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition until I run out of first run books.
AMAZON

 Humans are Weird – Blood Moon


The earth tone walls of the spacious office suddenly shook with the power of three massive blows, shaking down a shower of the freshly applied texture. Grinds heaved a sigh and shifted his tail on his work couch and looked ruefully at the last third of the end of season report on the blood-grain yeilds.
“Yo! Grinds!” the human voice came though the wall, muffled, but not enough to conceal the eagerness.
Grinds deliberately reached over and activated the comm unit.
“Yes?” he asked, trying to put stern disapproval of the behavior in his voice but he was afraid he just sounded irritated.
“Oh Right! Comms!” the human responded with a laugh. “Are you coming to the Lunatic Party tonight? Trisk Friend Tstk’sk wants to know.”
Grinds closed his report and turned to the door debating the social impact of demanding to know which human this was.
“Please come in,” he requested.
There was the sound of the human prodding at the door mechanism several times before the door lifted and the human, a dark haired male wearing loose white clothing ducked into the room. He was carrying a drink canister that was venting a not unpleasant fragrance and no little steam in one hand.
“So are you coming?” the human repeated the invitation when he had reorintated his body vertically.
“Human Friend Bon Jovi,”Grinds identified him. “I was not aware that there was a celebration of human madness planned for tonight.”
Human Friend Bon Jovi blinked at him, his odd round irises dilating and contracting as he processed Grinds’s statement. Then the human threw back his head and laughed.
“Nah, nah,” he said with a dismissive wave of the hand not holding the steaming drink. “Different word that. Lunar, moon, there’s a party on to view the moon tonight. It’s early enough, or late enough, that we’re all going to stay up and watch it together. We got a bonfire, drinks, food, all laid out.”
“Did you get permission from Seeps into the Streams?” Grinds asked.
“You betcha!” the human replied, bobbing his head up and down so furiously that it made the back of Grinds’s neck ache in sympathy. “Old Seeps found us this really great spot where the topsoil is really poor so it won’t sacrifice any good growing land, and there are all sorts of old fungal chunks laying around for the bonfire fuel-”
“None of these fungal chunks are going to release hallucinogenic spores when burned are they?” Grinds demanded, his scales prickling at the thought.
Human Friend Bon Jovi snorted and rolled his eyes.
“That happened once!” He insisted.
“Three times,” Grinds interjected in a rasping tone.
“And it was in a completely different biome from this!” the human went on. “Besides, Seeps checked for us. There was nothing in the chunks that won’t be deactivated by the flames.”
“Are you going to be providing mind altering substances to make up for this difference?” Grinds asked.
The human burst out laughing again.
“It’s not like that!” the human finally said.
“You are proving them though?” Grinds demanded.
“My dude!” the human said giving an expansive wave of both hands.
Grinds flinched as the large, steaming drink canister swung wide over his head.
“This is a grain producing colony!” the human enthused. “We breed new grains, we grow grains that were ancient before any of us left our own planets, we see how we can mix and merge grains of all types! It would be like, the deepest offense to all our ancestors if we didn’t have a little recreational fun at a moon themed party!”
“A little recreational poisoning you mean,” Grinds grumbled.
“Potato, pahtatoh,” the human said with a dismissive wave of his hand.
“There will be vodka too?” Grinds demanded, raising his tail in agitation.
“No! No, no,” the human quickly corrected him, “but quick catch there! I said this was a grain thing!”
“There will be no fireballs,” Grinds muttered, half a question.
“Well if you mean the official, ancient named brand no,” the human said with a grin. “Who can afford the transport fees when our local stuff is just as good. Better even! If you mean actual fireballs, well,” the human shrugged. “Fire breathing is a skill. I’m not going to try it that’s for sure.”
“Would my presence at this event decrease the likely hood of the other humans attempting to master this skill?” Grinds demanded.
“The only way to answer that question is to find out the fun way,” Human Friend Bon Jovi stated with a grin.
Grinds sighed and moved towards the door and the human gave a whoop of delight, his bare feet dancing across the floor to make way for Grinds.
“So what is special about the moon tonight that it is keeping the entire base up to view it?” Grinds asked.
“It’s a blood moon! The very first one we’ve had a chance to witness on this planet!” Human Friend Bon Jovi enthused as the walked out into the hallway. “We have blood grain blood whiskey for the blood moon too! It’s going to be a blast!”
“And what exactly is a blood moon?” Grinds asked, feeling more curiosity now.
“Oh right,” Human Friend Bon Jovi paused and pondered that a moment. “A full moon with a full lunar eclipse. You know, when the planet gets between its sun and its moon just right? If its a night cycle you can see the moon turn red, like human blood.”
“Thus a blood moon,” Grinds replied flicking his tail in understanding. “But why are you calling it a lunatic party instead of a lunar party? Why the implication of madness.”
Human Friend Bon Jovi paused in both walking and speech to stare down at Grinds, his soft fleshy face peaking over the flowing white clothing he wore. The human finally grinned and gave a slightly odd laugh.
“It’s probably a good thing you will be there to observe,” Human Friend Bon Jovi finally said. “You might want a recording device going.”
With that the human scampered off to greet a fellow mammal and Grinds huffed. He still wasn’t exactly sure why but he felt he would enjoy this party far more from under the safety of something sturdy and immovable.  


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​
What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 300 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
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QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $60 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.
AMAZON