Humans are Weird – Thumb Sucking
“Such chubby little legs,” Second Grandfather clicked out as he watched Fifteenth Cousin carefully adjust the sensors on the barrel chest of the human infant laying in the medical hammock. He mentally corrected himself. She was now Twelfth Aunt, even if she would really never read as anything other than one of the hatchlings to him.
“Aren’t they?” crooned the human First Mother bent over her child. “Like little sausages!”
“Sausages?” Second Grandfather asked.
The human glanced over at him and her face lit with laughter that almost chased away the wrinkles of worry. She began to explain the concept of some sort of animal product based food as Fifteenth- Twelfth Aunt, he reminded himself. She was not only in a fully adult molt but was a medical doctor with more training than any of the previous generation. At the moment she was adjusting the hammock with an odd combination of tenderness, almost masculine in its nature, and professional efficiency. With a satisfied click of her mandibles she stepped away from the human child and turned to the human First Mother.
“Little Todd is quite secure,” she said. “All of his vitals are reading normal for a human infant.”
“I just fed him,” the human First Mother said, reaching up absently to feel her slightly deflated mammary glands under her loose thermal insulation. “He’s changed and he should be comfortable for some time.”
The odd bifocal eyes of the tiny human were watching them, his little pink fists curled up under his multiple chins. Despite the rounded fleshy body, and the exotic waft of his alien pheromones there was no doubt that the little one in it’s comfort and curiosity was just as adorable as a Shatar infant. Second Grandfather couldn’t quite resist moving forward and tickling that absurdly round belly with its one star-like scar.
“And are you going to tell us what we need to know you little mystery?” Second Grandfather demanded, bobbing his antenna in a way he had learned that human infants loved.
The tiny human opened it’s mouth and produced a gurgle that would have announced several problems in a Shatar infant, but somehow still sounded delighted. His round little arms reached up for Second Grandfather. The old Shatar was sure he hadn’t given away any of the instincts that triggered but he heard Twelfth Aunt snap her mandibles menacingly.
“Don’t you dare! I just got him settled!”
Second Grandfather deliberately raised his hands in the human gesture of appeasement and backed away from the infant, wriggling his antenna and flexing his pseudo-frill. The human infant, First Brother Todd burst into laughter and wriggled in delight.
“Out!” Twelfth Aunt snapped in a mercilessly authoritative tone. “The dip in blood oxygen content we are looking for only happens when Todd is resting quietly! That clearly isn’t going to happen while you are here!”
“We’ll play more later little First Brother!” Second Grandfather promised as he scuttled out of the room.
He waited outside until Human First Mother came out and joined him. Her face was set in the smooth lines of a calm human state of being, but her pheromones spiked with stress. Second Grandfather took her hand in his and clicked up at her soothingly.
“I remember the first time I had to leave my garden after I strung my first line,” he said. “Don’t worry about little First Brother. Fifteenth Cousin is more than a skilled doctor, she doesn’t like to show it but her membrane is as soft as any males when it comes to hatchlings.”
Humans First Mother gave him a tight smile and eased herself gingerly down onto a Shatar couch.
“She’s the best xeno medic on the planet,” she said almost absently. “Hopefully she can figure out what is causing this. None of ours could.”
“His oxygen levels just drop?” Second Grandfather asked.
He knew exactly what was wrong with their tiny guest, but he also knew that parents loved to talk about what was wrong with their infants. Human First Mother was well into a description of their diagnosis of little Todd when Twelfth Aunt came stalking out of the room carrying a recording device. They glanced up at her in surprise and the gestured for them to be silent before showing them the steadily dipping graph that depicted the tiny human’s precious gas levels. Human First Mother drew in a sharp breath and her eyes widened, but before she could say anything the downward trend paused and started back up. The human gave a surprised gasp and grasped, a little painfully, at Second Grandfather’s arm.
“Do you know why?” Second Grandfather demanded, feeling a wash of surprise despite the situation.
He gently patted the human’s hand and it relaxed a bit.
“I have a theory, now be quiet and look,” Twelfth Aunt stated.
She pulled up the camera display and showed a sped up replay of Human First Brother after they had left the room. He waved his arms around for a few moments, and then he had balled one hand into a tiny fist, stuck out his primary opposable digit, and thrust the digit into his mouth. His strange little eye roved around the room for several more moments before they began to blink closed. As his eyes closed the fist relaxed, and his longer fingers uncurled, reached up, and recurled around the protuberance in the center of his face.
“What is that called again?” Second Grandfather asked, reaching up to touch the matching organ on Human First Mother.
“Nose,” Human First Mother stated, her eyes widening. “He’s clamping his own nose shut! I, I hadn’t even thought about that habit!”
“I doubt he has the strength to fully cut off his air supply,” Twelfth Aunt stated as they watched the child’s oxygen levels began to dip on the graph. “But as you will see this is no doubt the problem.”
In the recording she stood and with no small effort removed the tiny pink fingers from the tiny pink nose. Immediately the graph trended upwards.
“But why didn’t they notice this when we took him to the human hospital?” Human First Mother demanded.
“The protocols I studied suggest that you put an infant oxygen mask on patients experiencing low oxygen,” Twelfth Aunt suggested. “I imaging that would block his ability to display this behavior.”
“Well, this is good news at least,” Human First Mother said with a relieved laugh, “he will grow out of thumb sucking.”
“Until then may I suggest having him wear a detached oxygen mask at night,” Twelfth Aunt suggested.”
“Good idea,” Human First Mother said.
Her voice broke and her pheromone levels surged as her body released its’ stress. She lunged forward and swept Twelfth Aunt up in a hug that swept the tall female Shatar completely off the ground. Twelfth Aunt angled a desperate look down at Second Grandfather and stepped up and gently tugged at Human First Mother’s sleeve.
“My friend,” he said in a bright tone, “I am still quite confused. What is this, thumb sucking, did you call it? Why is the little human apparently eating one of his own digits?”
Human First Mother stopped her grateful assault on his offspring and turned her tearful attention to him with a laugh as Twelfth Aunt made a hasty escape back into the observation room.
“Why do humans suck their thumbs?” she asked. “That’s a good question actually...”
Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 3rd book!
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What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia
Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 300 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.
Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition until I run out of first run books.
AMAZON
“Such chubby little legs,” Second Grandfather clicked out as he watched Fifteenth Cousin carefully adjust the sensors on the barrel chest of the human infant laying in the medical hammock. He mentally corrected himself. She was now Twelfth Aunt, even if she would really never read as anything other than one of the hatchlings to him.
“Aren’t they?” crooned the human First Mother bent over her child. “Like little sausages!”
“Sausages?” Second Grandfather asked.
The human glanced over at him and her face lit with laughter that almost chased away the wrinkles of worry. She began to explain the concept of some sort of animal product based food as Fifteenth- Twelfth Aunt, he reminded himself. She was not only in a fully adult molt but was a medical doctor with more training than any of the previous generation. At the moment she was adjusting the hammock with an odd combination of tenderness, almost masculine in its nature, and professional efficiency. With a satisfied click of her mandibles she stepped away from the human child and turned to the human First Mother.
“Little Todd is quite secure,” she said. “All of his vitals are reading normal for a human infant.”
“I just fed him,” the human First Mother said, reaching up absently to feel her slightly deflated mammary glands under her loose thermal insulation. “He’s changed and he should be comfortable for some time.”
The odd bifocal eyes of the tiny human were watching them, his little pink fists curled up under his multiple chins. Despite the rounded fleshy body, and the exotic waft of his alien pheromones there was no doubt that the little one in it’s comfort and curiosity was just as adorable as a Shatar infant. Second Grandfather couldn’t quite resist moving forward and tickling that absurdly round belly with its one star-like scar.
“And are you going to tell us what we need to know you little mystery?” Second Grandfather demanded, bobbing his antenna in a way he had learned that human infants loved.
The tiny human opened it’s mouth and produced a gurgle that would have announced several problems in a Shatar infant, but somehow still sounded delighted. His round little arms reached up for Second Grandfather. The old Shatar was sure he hadn’t given away any of the instincts that triggered but he heard Twelfth Aunt snap her mandibles menacingly.
“Don’t you dare! I just got him settled!”
Second Grandfather deliberately raised his hands in the human gesture of appeasement and backed away from the infant, wriggling his antenna and flexing his pseudo-frill. The human infant, First Brother Todd burst into laughter and wriggled in delight.
“Out!” Twelfth Aunt snapped in a mercilessly authoritative tone. “The dip in blood oxygen content we are looking for only happens when Todd is resting quietly! That clearly isn’t going to happen while you are here!”
“We’ll play more later little First Brother!” Second Grandfather promised as he scuttled out of the room.
He waited outside until Human First Mother came out and joined him. Her face was set in the smooth lines of a calm human state of being, but her pheromones spiked with stress. Second Grandfather took her hand in his and clicked up at her soothingly.
“I remember the first time I had to leave my garden after I strung my first line,” he said. “Don’t worry about little First Brother. Fifteenth Cousin is more than a skilled doctor, she doesn’t like to show it but her membrane is as soft as any males when it comes to hatchlings.”
Humans First Mother gave him a tight smile and eased herself gingerly down onto a Shatar couch.
“She’s the best xeno medic on the planet,” she said almost absently. “Hopefully she can figure out what is causing this. None of ours could.”
“His oxygen levels just drop?” Second Grandfather asked.
He knew exactly what was wrong with their tiny guest, but he also knew that parents loved to talk about what was wrong with their infants. Human First Mother was well into a description of their diagnosis of little Todd when Twelfth Aunt came stalking out of the room carrying a recording device. They glanced up at her in surprise and the gestured for them to be silent before showing them the steadily dipping graph that depicted the tiny human’s precious gas levels. Human First Mother drew in a sharp breath and her eyes widened, but before she could say anything the downward trend paused and started back up. The human gave a surprised gasp and grasped, a little painfully, at Second Grandfather’s arm.
“Do you know why?” Second Grandfather demanded, feeling a wash of surprise despite the situation.
He gently patted the human’s hand and it relaxed a bit.
“I have a theory, now be quiet and look,” Twelfth Aunt stated.
She pulled up the camera display and showed a sped up replay of Human First Brother after they had left the room. He waved his arms around for a few moments, and then he had balled one hand into a tiny fist, stuck out his primary opposable digit, and thrust the digit into his mouth. His strange little eye roved around the room for several more moments before they began to blink closed. As his eyes closed the fist relaxed, and his longer fingers uncurled, reached up, and recurled around the protuberance in the center of his face.
“What is that called again?” Second Grandfather asked, reaching up to touch the matching organ on Human First Mother.
“Nose,” Human First Mother stated, her eyes widening. “He’s clamping his own nose shut! I, I hadn’t even thought about that habit!”
“I doubt he has the strength to fully cut off his air supply,” Twelfth Aunt stated as they watched the child’s oxygen levels began to dip on the graph. “But as you will see this is no doubt the problem.”
In the recording she stood and with no small effort removed the tiny pink fingers from the tiny pink nose. Immediately the graph trended upwards.
“But why didn’t they notice this when we took him to the human hospital?” Human First Mother demanded.
“The protocols I studied suggest that you put an infant oxygen mask on patients experiencing low oxygen,” Twelfth Aunt suggested. “I imaging that would block his ability to display this behavior.”
“Well, this is good news at least,” Human First Mother said with a relieved laugh, “he will grow out of thumb sucking.”
“Until then may I suggest having him wear a detached oxygen mask at night,” Twelfth Aunt suggested.”
“Good idea,” Human First Mother said.
Her voice broke and her pheromone levels surged as her body released its’ stress. She lunged forward and swept Twelfth Aunt up in a hug that swept the tall female Shatar completely off the ground. Twelfth Aunt angled a desperate look down at Second Grandfather and stepped up and gently tugged at Human First Mother’s sleeve.
“My friend,” he said in a bright tone, “I am still quite confused. What is this, thumb sucking, did you call it? Why is the little human apparently eating one of his own digits?”
Human First Mother stopped her grateful assault on his offspring and turned her tearful attention to him with a laugh as Twelfth Aunt made a hasty escape back into the observation room.
“Why do humans suck their thumbs?” she asked. “That’s a good question actually...”
Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 3rd book!
Amazon!
Barnes & Noble
Powell's Books
Google Play Books
Kobo By Rakuten
What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia
Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 300 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.
Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition until I run out of first run books.
AMAZON
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