Humans are Weird - Rants
Vise adjusted his sunhat and licked his gums thoughtfully. He was fully hydrated, it was just hot out in the middle of the grain field. He heaved a sigh and idly grubbed thought the vines of the ground cover until he found a ripe bean pod to set in the gap where a new tooth was growing in. He idly mashed the bean pod between his gums as he turned his attention back towards the tail-tip width gap between the main drive bar of the tractor and the thresher bars. It was still to far up in the machines for his own, reasonably long forelimbs to reach, and he still had to wait for the humans to lumber their way out across the pasture on foot to fix it. He had just managed to pop the bean pod without using his teeth when the ground began to rhythmically vibrate indicating the presence of two humans and the sound of one voice filled the air.
“...every year of their life. Stole the food out of the refrigeration unit! When Mom would say anything about it Dad would just say that-”
“Is that you Vise?” Aiden’s smoother, younger voice called out.
“Where do you see him?” The rougher voice asked, a new human Vise didn’t know, presumably Adien’s father from context.
Vise rose from the ground where he had been resentfully eyeing the gap between the machine parts and stood on his hind legs. It didn’t get his eyes high enough to see the approaching humans through the tall grass mix, the beige hard grain heads and the red stigmas and anthers of the other species made remarkably good camouflage for the tall mammals, but it allowed them to see him.
“There he is,” Aiden’s voice called, is what was clearly meant to be a cheerful voice but seemed rather strained to Vise.
Vise felt an instinctive stir of unease in his gut. It was hard to forget that these were predators when they spotted him like that. The grass rustled harder and their shadows blocked out the hot sun as the humans hove into view. Aiden waved and stomped towards the tractor.
“This the problem?” the younger human asked quickly instead of stopping to introduce his father.
Vise rather wondered at that, Aiden was somewhat infamous for being unfailingly gregarious, as was his father by reputation. At the other end of his tail it was hot out here and even the famous mammalian endothermy had its limits.
“The pin broke,” Vise explained waving the replacement pin in his claws. “Can’t replace it till the bars are aligned, can’t align the bars with these.”
He waved his forelimbs demonstratively. Aiden grunted and began the slow process of folding his body down, bending at the knees, hips, and tilting his torso and head over to peer under the machine.
“Da’ if you can get down on the other side and brace the bar there?” Aiden asked.
His father gave a grunt of agreement and began a much slower, louder, with far more grunting, popping of joints, and groaning process of folding himself down on the side of the machine with Vise. Vise studies the flushed face of the human and tried to scent the air subtly. Aiden, who he knew fairly well, had a tense look to him. The way the human tended to look when quietly enduring too cold weather in the morning, or drizzling rain. Meanwhile his father’s face was flushed and his face muscles twitched in a way that indicated some strong emotion.
They both reached under the machine and gripping the respective parts used their bare hands to shove them together. Vise slid the pin into its slot and they gave the newly attached joint a few experimental tugs before standing and stepping back so the machine could resume its function. There was a clicking and a whirring as the threshing bars extended, caught the vines that had been compacted by gravity and rain and pulled them up with a flourish sending a dust cloud full of insects scattering.
“Need anything else Vise?” Aiden asked in that same odd tight tone.
“No,” Vise replied, as he sorted the parts of the broken pin into his carry satchel. “May I invite you back to my work-hutch for a cooling drink?”
“That sounds good,” Aiden agreed. “Oh have you met my Da’?”
Vise exchanged greetings with the clearly distracted human and set off on the long walk towards the work-hutch. The humans followed along behind him and almost instantly the older human began what was clearly a continuing conversation.
“Grandpa would take the food out of the refrigeration unit and all Dad would say is that he raised four kids during the hungry times on Beta Five, he couldn’t say anything about it! That sort of thing leave a mark on a family!”
Aiden made a very measured controlled sounds in response. Vise wasn’t quite sure if it was a word and Vise tossed a quick glance back at the humans, unsure if the older one knew what his hearing range was. This was beginning to sound like something a family kept fermenting in their own nest.
“That sounds very distressing,” Vise hazarded, just to let the humans know he could hear them.
Aiden gave him a tight but rueful smile and his father simply nodded vaguely in Vise’s direction, before continuing on what appeared to be a list of the social and moral failing of his parents, aunts, and uncles. Clearly there was no problem if the fumes from this reached other nostrils so Vise listened with interest to tales of unjust reprimand and untoward behavior. He noticed that excessive environmental heat played a remarkable role in this. They reached the work hutch, which had been deliberately built tall to accommodate humans and Vise shared out the lightly fermented fruit drink he had left cooling in the refrigeration unit. The humans complimented the beverage and then the older one cast a glance at the large patch of shade under the tangled branches of a grove of vine-trees.
“Think I’ll go test out the gravity over there before we head back to the house,” the human announced.
Vise gave an amused rumble at the reference to a human’s inability to sleep standing and took a long sip of his drink as he watched the human stroll over to the shady area. Aiden released a sigh that sounded like relief as his father got out of earshot.
“Your father is very free with family conflict,” Vise observed and tried to make his tone neutral.
Aiden gave a low laugh and took a drink.
“A wee bit,” the human finally admitted. “Da’s been going through a rough spot and wants to talk about things.”
“Because of loosing your nest mate?” Vise hazarded, swinging his tail around to lay it comfortingly against Aiden’s back.
“That and other things,” Aiden agreed, staring out into the bright haze on the distant horizon.
Vise wondered if he was seeing something with a human’s remarkable distance vision, or if he was just thinking.
“Your father just began a conversation listing the wrongs committed against him by the previous generation?” Vise asked.
“Not exactly,” Aiden said with a grimace, “he wanted to tell me about the details of the deal he made with my brother, and I made the mistake of not keeping my face shut up.”
“You expressed an opinion about the deal?” Vise asked.
“Not on purpose,” Aiden said, “but apparently he can read my face because when he was about halfway into it he jumped back and asked if I was angry. Somehow I can’t seem to get my face to shut up.”
Vise stared up at the ever moving oval of soft-flexible flesh and eyes that dilated and contracted at the slightest emotion and seemed at times to flicker with internal light, at the lips and nostrils that could flex and bend like a hatchling’s tail tip.
“I can see that that would be an issue,” Vise admitted, lapping up a bit of fluid.
“So he asked what was wrong and I told him,” Aiden said.
Vise politely waited quite some time until it became clear that Aiden had no intent to continue.
“What does that have to do with the rough surfaces of his progenitors?” Vise asked.
Aiden gave a hollow laugh and stared out at the distance.
“I don’t know Vise, I just don’t know.”
“...every year of their life. Stole the food out of the refrigeration unit! When Mom would say anything about it Dad would just say that-”
“Is that you Vise?” Aiden’s smoother, younger voice called out.
“Where do you see him?” The rougher voice asked, a new human Vise didn’t know, presumably Adien’s father from context.
Vise rose from the ground where he had been resentfully eyeing the gap between the machine parts and stood on his hind legs. It didn’t get his eyes high enough to see the approaching humans through the tall grass mix, the beige hard grain heads and the red stigmas and anthers of the other species made remarkably good camouflage for the tall mammals, but it allowed them to see him.
“There he is,” Aiden’s voice called, is what was clearly meant to be a cheerful voice but seemed rather strained to Vise.
Vise felt an instinctive stir of unease in his gut. It was hard to forget that these were predators when they spotted him like that. The grass rustled harder and their shadows blocked out the hot sun as the humans hove into view. Aiden waved and stomped towards the tractor.
“This the problem?” the younger human asked quickly instead of stopping to introduce his father.
Vise rather wondered at that, Aiden was somewhat infamous for being unfailingly gregarious, as was his father by reputation. At the other end of his tail it was hot out here and even the famous mammalian endothermy had its limits.
“The pin broke,” Vise explained waving the replacement pin in his claws. “Can’t replace it till the bars are aligned, can’t align the bars with these.”
He waved his forelimbs demonstratively. Aiden grunted and began the slow process of folding his body down, bending at the knees, hips, and tilting his torso and head over to peer under the machine.
“Da’ if you can get down on the other side and brace the bar there?” Aiden asked.
His father gave a grunt of agreement and began a much slower, louder, with far more grunting, popping of joints, and groaning process of folding himself down on the side of the machine with Vise. Vise studies the flushed face of the human and tried to scent the air subtly. Aiden, who he knew fairly well, had a tense look to him. The way the human tended to look when quietly enduring too cold weather in the morning, or drizzling rain. Meanwhile his father’s face was flushed and his face muscles twitched in a way that indicated some strong emotion.
They both reached under the machine and gripping the respective parts used their bare hands to shove them together. Vise slid the pin into its slot and they gave the newly attached joint a few experimental tugs before standing and stepping back so the machine could resume its function. There was a clicking and a whirring as the threshing bars extended, caught the vines that had been compacted by gravity and rain and pulled them up with a flourish sending a dust cloud full of insects scattering.
“Need anything else Vise?” Aiden asked in that same odd tight tone.
“No,” Vise replied, as he sorted the parts of the broken pin into his carry satchel. “May I invite you back to my work-hutch for a cooling drink?”
“That sounds good,” Aiden agreed. “Oh have you met my Da’?”
Vise exchanged greetings with the clearly distracted human and set off on the long walk towards the work-hutch. The humans followed along behind him and almost instantly the older human began what was clearly a continuing conversation.
“Grandpa would take the food out of the refrigeration unit and all Dad would say is that he raised four kids during the hungry times on Beta Five, he couldn’t say anything about it! That sort of thing leave a mark on a family!”
Aiden made a very measured controlled sounds in response. Vise wasn’t quite sure if it was a word and Vise tossed a quick glance back at the humans, unsure if the older one knew what his hearing range was. This was beginning to sound like something a family kept fermenting in their own nest.
“That sounds very distressing,” Vise hazarded, just to let the humans know he could hear them.
Aiden gave him a tight but rueful smile and his father simply nodded vaguely in Vise’s direction, before continuing on what appeared to be a list of the social and moral failing of his parents, aunts, and uncles. Clearly there was no problem if the fumes from this reached other nostrils so Vise listened with interest to tales of unjust reprimand and untoward behavior. He noticed that excessive environmental heat played a remarkable role in this. They reached the work hutch, which had been deliberately built tall to accommodate humans and Vise shared out the lightly fermented fruit drink he had left cooling in the refrigeration unit. The humans complimented the beverage and then the older one cast a glance at the large patch of shade under the tangled branches of a grove of vine-trees.
“Think I’ll go test out the gravity over there before we head back to the house,” the human announced.
Vise gave an amused rumble at the reference to a human’s inability to sleep standing and took a long sip of his drink as he watched the human stroll over to the shady area. Aiden released a sigh that sounded like relief as his father got out of earshot.
“Your father is very free with family conflict,” Vise observed and tried to make his tone neutral.
Aiden gave a low laugh and took a drink.
“A wee bit,” the human finally admitted. “Da’s been going through a rough spot and wants to talk about things.”
“Because of loosing your nest mate?” Vise hazarded, swinging his tail around to lay it comfortingly against Aiden’s back.
“That and other things,” Aiden agreed, staring out into the bright haze on the distant horizon.
Vise wondered if he was seeing something with a human’s remarkable distance vision, or if he was just thinking.
“Your father just began a conversation listing the wrongs committed against him by the previous generation?” Vise asked.
“Not exactly,” Aiden said with a grimace, “he wanted to tell me about the details of the deal he made with my brother, and I made the mistake of not keeping my face shut up.”
“You expressed an opinion about the deal?” Vise asked.
“Not on purpose,” Aiden said, “but apparently he can read my face because when he was about halfway into it he jumped back and asked if I was angry. Somehow I can’t seem to get my face to shut up.”
Vise stared up at the ever moving oval of soft-flexible flesh and eyes that dilated and contracted at the slightest emotion and seemed at times to flicker with internal light, at the lips and nostrils that could flex and bend like a hatchling’s tail tip.
“I can see that that would be an issue,” Vise admitted, lapping up a bit of fluid.
“So he asked what was wrong and I told him,” Aiden said.
Vise politely waited quite some time until it became clear that Aiden had no intent to continue.
“What does that have to do with the rough surfaces of his progenitors?” Vise asked.
Aiden gave a hollow laugh and stared out at the distance.
“I don’t know Vise, I just don’t know.”
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