“It was integrating the humans,” Wing Commander Six Clicks stated in flat tones as the wing medic gently daubed sealing gel on his exposed horn core.
The confused rustle of horrified gasps that shook the young pseud-wings around his was a satisfactory balm in of itself. The inevitable nausea and confusion resulting from loosing a sensory horn cover, not to mention the embarrassment at your medic insisting you submit as a case study for dozens of overeager young medics was certainly a set of downdrafts that could send you spiraling. Wing Commander Six Clicks saw no reason not to season the bite of the day with a little amusing hyperbole; especially given that humans never seemed to mind the implication that they were agents of chaos. His medic seemed to have other ideas and have his exposed sensory horn core a pinch.
“Don’t listen to his nonsense!” Wing Medic Eight Trills snapped as he squeezed a bit more sealing gel out of the applicator. “I can hear exactly what you are all thinking! No human grabbed him and his horn wasn’t knocked off! The outer sheath fell off because this ratty-winged idiot refuses to take sufficient strontium supplements!”
“Also he doesn’t rub his horns near enough,” Second Medic Tenth Click said sternly, holding up a polishing rag and glaring accusingly at the gathered students.
There was a minor rustling of unease and Wing Commander Six Clicks felt a breeze of gratitude for the younger medic deflecting some of the attention away from his bad habits. However the mood of the group shifted again as their collective attention turned to something he couldn’t quite sound to the northwest. It was just a moment of curiosity on the fringe of the psudo-wing at first. These class groups wings were usually more than friendly, but they lacked the coherent responses of a true wing. As was normal it took some time for a clear consensus to build in the body language of the wing and when it did it was simple perplexity.
“What has got you all looking that way?” Wing Commander Six Clicks demanded, trying to peek over the forest of budding young sensory horns.
Young Winged aspiring to be medics generally tended larger than average as being able to carry an injured comrade in flight was considered a requirement. However Wing Commander Six Clicks earned only another pinch from the very much not distracted Wing Medic.
“Undulates,” came the first draft of the response.
“Lots of them.”
“Coming from an odd vector.”
“Seem to be headed for the main stream.”
“Nothing the way they came from but an empty flight space.”
“Good angle to swoop round to the quad.”
“Sometimes you can surprise a human and make them jump.”
“Looks like most of the pilot class Undulates.”
“Something funny happened.”
“Yes, quite amused-”
“Three Trills!” Wing Medic Eight Trills snapped out as he winghooked the Wing Commander’s head down into a more accessible position. “Clearly none of you are going to be able to focus until you figure out what is going on! Take the six of you with the deepest voices and figure out what those lumbering swimmers are doing out of the water and in some random corner of the base.”
The assigned Winged swept off eagerly and spent several minutes chattering in the low tones necessary to get the Undulates attention. They swept back noses twitching in amusement.
“Well?” Wing Commander Six Clicks demanded when they returned.
A chorus of amused chittering followed this pronouncement.
The eldest of the group waved a wing for silence.
“They are a pod of Survey Core Ranger Pilots!” their speaker announced, not entirely able to keep an unprofessional chirp out of his voice. “They were sunning in the quad with several human friends when one of the mechanic flow humans came running up from one of the buildings. He snatched up Cadet Rollswithstops and declared-”
Here even the chosen speaker broke down in amused chittering and had to vigorously rub his winghooks over his face to compose himself. One of the others stepped forward and mimicked the lumbering tread of the giant bipeds. The actor made a gesture of stooping and snatching up an Undulate, and then lifted his chin in a very human gesture.
“No time to explain! Grab a cuddle-mop-friend and follow me!”
The actor then proceeded to mimic the loping human movement called running.
“Then!” the original speaker broke back in. “All the humans looked at each other in confusion, but something like half of them just obeyed. They snatched up the remaining Undulates and followed the mechanic flow cadet!”
“He led them around to that blind corner!” The second broke in, indicating the place with a wave of his wing.
“And then he just his Undulate down, thanked them with a serious face, and strode off!”
The actor demonstrated the striding.
“The Undulates say the rest of the humans just stood there staring at each other in confusion until one of them remembered to apologize for snatching them.”
Another amused chitter.
“You know how Undulates are,” the speaker said laying his ears back in mild exasperation. “They aren’t going to question any kind of sudden physical attention in a lounging time. The humans offered to carry them back to the stream and some accepted but those decided to take a shortcut to their next class.”
He waved a wing at the pod of Undulates who were humping their way quickly towards a not too distant stream. The psudo-wing of medics broke into a delighted chatter that seemed to be swirling around human flight movement psychology and some historic rivalry between pilot and mechanic flow specialists. Wing Commander Six Clicks turned on his chief medic and wrinkled his nose flares in triumph.
“And you doubted that the humans were responsible for this!” He declared, indicating the missing sensory-horn sheath.
“I’m not denying that stress responses are a factor,” the medic snapped. “But if you took proper care of yourself no amount of human mischief would be able to touch you!”
“You heard your teacher!” The wing commander declared! “Rubbing your horns prevents social kidnapping!”
The extra pinch to his horn was worth the wave of amused chittering that got him.
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What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia
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