Humans are Weird - Lids
First Sister came lazily aware to the faint tingling her her antennas that indicated a human she knew had been shouting frantically a few rooms over in the echoing wooden hive. She stretched her legs mindful of the harsh ninety degree corners on the human furniture and idly reached down to pat Third Sister between her antenna when it looked like she was starting to stir. The light filtering through the ultraviolet shielding on the bedroom window showed that it was far to early for the diurnal humans to be generally away and around so there was no point in Third Sister adding herself to whatever chaos Human Second Cousin Betty was fomenting, presumably in the main work-shed if First Sister had any ability at all to judge distance and direction in the above ground structures. Her stretches finished she trotted out into the hallway, too cool and too quite by any Shatar Standard and felt her frill lay tight to her neck to preserve warmth. She followed the sounds of a human dancing in an anxious pattern that vibrated through the floor to her toes as much as through the air to her antenna, and found Human Second Cousin Betty with her hands flat on a counter glaring at what looked to First Sister like a relatively inoffensive printer. First Sister allowed herself another leisurely stretch as she considered the situation. The human literally dancing with impatience, the printer set to the fastest safe output, the scent of heated poly-carbons in the air, and the line of three heated-sand containers gleaming with fresh sterilization.
“You lost the lids again didn’t you?” First Sister asked, not trying very hard to keep the amusement out of the set of her antenna.
Human Second Cousin Better snapped her head around in that swivel motion that had once been so disturbing and tightened her face into a properly intimidating glare.
“I am not the only person in this house!” Human Second Cousin Betty hissed, bypassing her vocal chords to avoid the deeper, louder notes that might wake the other humans. “This is not my fault! I told them that the honey-pot lids go on the high shelf when last season’s pot is empty! I know that I put one there myself!”
She flung her powerful arms up in a wave of frustration and glared down at the printer.
“Faster!” she hissed.
“The printers-” First Sister began, her mandibles twitching with barely constrained humor.
“Don’t respond to verbal commands!” Human Second Cousin Betty interrupted her, dancing sideways in frustration. “I know, I know, and printers can smell frustration so I shouldn’t let it know I am on a timeline! Or how embarrassing this is going to be even if I get all three hydro-proof lids printed before Old Woman Honey shows up with her vats! But I cannot face begging spare lids off of her again! We had extra lids last season! It’s going to be bad enough that when she sees the printed lids she’ll know we can’t keep the others...”
First Sister stood a little taller in shock as something Human Second Cousin Betty had said in her rant properly formed a thought vine.
“Second Cousin!” First Sister interjected with a warning click that the human heeded by stilling her dancing and spinning to face her. “Are you saying that the machine mind in this printer is complex enough to identify human emotion patterns and respond to them out of spite?”
Human Second Cousin Betty paused, and her head actually tilted to the side in a properly thoughtful gestures as she pondered that.
“No,” she said slowly, her face skin contorting into a frown. “I mean, I know it’s not supposed to...but it kind of does? Or maybe just acts like it? I don’t know-”
Her musing was interrupted by a faint click as the lid currently being printed dropped to the counter and the machine gave a friendly chirp as it started printing the next one.
“Watch this. I need to give this a smoothing bath after,” Human Second Cousin Betty said as she snatched up the lid, forced it down into the jar to shape it, and darted out the door, presumable to dunk the printed and shaped lid into a hardening bath.
Presumably she wanted First Sister to watched the automated systems print out the next lid. Was she expecting First Sister to observe for and report any signs of...spite? Resentment? In the device. It gave a little grinding noise that sounded like nothing short of contentment, bust First Sister still eased a little away. If humans needed to keep a continuous watch on machines as simple as printers for signs of active sabotage that might just be something she needed to report to a Grandmother. Of course it might just be human fancy and metaphor, but now that she ran those memory vines behind her eyes she could recall most of the humans showing physical and verbal affection to most of their complex machines. First Sister eased carefully closer to the printer that had just finished a complicated section of the lid. She raised a hand and patted the top gently enough not to disturb its work.
“Good printer,” she said, attempting to mimic the tone Human Second Father used on his truck.
“First Sister?” a voice called out from the door as Human Second Mother loomed into view, “What are you doing?”
The human’s tone spoke of perplexity and possibly amusement and First Sister had the sinking feeling that she had failed to consider the option of Human Second Cousin Betty’s behavior falling into the category of a ‘prank’.
“Making sure the printer cannot smell frustration?” First Sister answered, deciding on simple honesty.
Human Second Mother started at her in confusion for several long moments, and then burst out laughing before leaving without explanation. First Sister tilted a sideways glance at the printer. It was most likely only her imagination that it chuckled at her too.
“You lost the lids again didn’t you?” First Sister asked, not trying very hard to keep the amusement out of the set of her antenna.
Human Second Cousin Better snapped her head around in that swivel motion that had once been so disturbing and tightened her face into a properly intimidating glare.
“I am not the only person in this house!” Human Second Cousin Betty hissed, bypassing her vocal chords to avoid the deeper, louder notes that might wake the other humans. “This is not my fault! I told them that the honey-pot lids go on the high shelf when last season’s pot is empty! I know that I put one there myself!”
She flung her powerful arms up in a wave of frustration and glared down at the printer.
“Faster!” she hissed.
“The printers-” First Sister began, her mandibles twitching with barely constrained humor.
“Don’t respond to verbal commands!” Human Second Cousin Betty interrupted her, dancing sideways in frustration. “I know, I know, and printers can smell frustration so I shouldn’t let it know I am on a timeline! Or how embarrassing this is going to be even if I get all three hydro-proof lids printed before Old Woman Honey shows up with her vats! But I cannot face begging spare lids off of her again! We had extra lids last season! It’s going to be bad enough that when she sees the printed lids she’ll know we can’t keep the others...”
First Sister stood a little taller in shock as something Human Second Cousin Betty had said in her rant properly formed a thought vine.
“Second Cousin!” First Sister interjected with a warning click that the human heeded by stilling her dancing and spinning to face her. “Are you saying that the machine mind in this printer is complex enough to identify human emotion patterns and respond to them out of spite?”
Human Second Cousin Betty paused, and her head actually tilted to the side in a properly thoughtful gestures as she pondered that.
“No,” she said slowly, her face skin contorting into a frown. “I mean, I know it’s not supposed to...but it kind of does? Or maybe just acts like it? I don’t know-”
Her musing was interrupted by a faint click as the lid currently being printed dropped to the counter and the machine gave a friendly chirp as it started printing the next one.
“Watch this. I need to give this a smoothing bath after,” Human Second Cousin Betty said as she snatched up the lid, forced it down into the jar to shape it, and darted out the door, presumable to dunk the printed and shaped lid into a hardening bath.
Presumably she wanted First Sister to watched the automated systems print out the next lid. Was she expecting First Sister to observe for and report any signs of...spite? Resentment? In the device. It gave a little grinding noise that sounded like nothing short of contentment, bust First Sister still eased a little away. If humans needed to keep a continuous watch on machines as simple as printers for signs of active sabotage that might just be something she needed to report to a Grandmother. Of course it might just be human fancy and metaphor, but now that she ran those memory vines behind her eyes she could recall most of the humans showing physical and verbal affection to most of their complex machines. First Sister eased carefully closer to the printer that had just finished a complicated section of the lid. She raised a hand and patted the top gently enough not to disturb its work.
“Good printer,” she said, attempting to mimic the tone Human Second Father used on his truck.
“First Sister?” a voice called out from the door as Human Second Mother loomed into view, “What are you doing?”
The human’s tone spoke of perplexity and possibly amusement and First Sister had the sinking feeling that she had failed to consider the option of Human Second Cousin Betty’s behavior falling into the category of a ‘prank’.
“Making sure the printer cannot smell frustration?” First Sister answered, deciding on simple honesty.
Human Second Mother started at her in confusion for several long moments, and then burst out laughing before leaving without explanation. First Sister tilted a sideways glance at the printer. It was most likely only her imagination that it chuckled at her too.
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