Humans are Weird - Kiddie Classes
“So, anyway,” Fifth Ranger was explaining as he gestured at the broad expanse of skin he had exposed along his abdomen, “that was the day we were doing our stop-drop-and-roll drills. By the time it was my turn to roll, I’d completely forgotten about the bottle I’d hidden, and it broke from the fall. I sure remembered the bottle fast when the glass broke. But I knew I shouldn’t have had it under there, so I didn’t cry or let the teachers know what had happened until the cuts had bled through my shirt, and the teachers saw.”
“Fascinating,” Fourth Cousin said. “You genuinely did not consider massive laceration to your dermal surface a problem?”
“Not one worth getting in trouble for,” Fifth Ranger said with a shrug. “But hey. I was just a kid. My brain wasn’t firing on all cylinders. If you know what I mean.”
“I am constantly amazed by how casual you mammals are about damage to your outer membrane,” Fourth Cousin said, shaking her head as her antennae twitched.
“Our skin’s designed to take a beating,” Fifth Ranger replied. “It’s not that big of a deal. Biological differences and all that.”
“So what is a stop-drop-and-roll drill?” Fourth Cousin asked.
“Training on what to do if our clothes catch fire,” Fifth Ranger said. “It’s about how to smother the flames.”
Fourth Cousin’s antennae curled in horror, and her frill dropped to press against her neck. Fifth Ranger’s lips quirked in a sign of amusement, and he tilted his head to the side.
“Just out of curiosity,” he said, “what about that horrified you?”
“Your training,” she said slowly as her frill began to flutter in confusion, “assumes that small children will catch fire…”
“Accidents do happen,” he said with a shrug.
“Did you ever catch fire?”
“Well, no,” he replied. “But I know what to do if I did.”
“Fascinating,” Fourth Cousin said. “You genuinely did not consider massive laceration to your dermal surface a problem?”
“Not one worth getting in trouble for,” Fifth Ranger said with a shrug. “But hey. I was just a kid. My brain wasn’t firing on all cylinders. If you know what I mean.”
“I am constantly amazed by how casual you mammals are about damage to your outer membrane,” Fourth Cousin said, shaking her head as her antennae twitched.
“Our skin’s designed to take a beating,” Fifth Ranger replied. “It’s not that big of a deal. Biological differences and all that.”
“So what is a stop-drop-and-roll drill?” Fourth Cousin asked.
“Training on what to do if our clothes catch fire,” Fifth Ranger said. “It’s about how to smother the flames.”
Fourth Cousin’s antennae curled in horror, and her frill dropped to press against her neck. Fifth Ranger’s lips quirked in a sign of amusement, and he tilted his head to the side.
“Just out of curiosity,” he said, “what about that horrified you?”
“Your training,” she said slowly as her frill began to flutter in confusion, “assumes that small children will catch fire…”
“Accidents do happen,” he said with a shrug.
“Did you ever catch fire?”
“Well, no,” he replied. “But I know what to do if I did.”
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