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Humans Are Weird - Jump Scare

1/22/2019

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Humans are Weird – Jump Scare
“Secondary Visiting Ranger?” Fourth Sister asked when she handed him the soil probe.
The brilliant yellow sun shown down on the frozen landscape. She would never have dared venture out onto such a place herself without the presence of a true mammal. Even with her insulation gear that muted the sounds of even loud conversation she could already feel the air draining her core warmth. Fortunately humans were rather loud when it came to communication. Even so, the grunt the human gave in reply did not seem to contain any words, but she was learning that humans were rather imprecise when it came to casual verbal communication, so she took it to be permission to continue.
“Are you currently in a state of, ah, I believe the word is ‘feud’ with Primary Visiting Ranger?” She asked.
“Primary-? Oh you mean Bob?” The human asked.
“Yes,” She replied.
The human took a moment to shift the hood of the parka he was wearing around his tiny audio sensors but did not expose the round little nubs of skin.  
“A state of feud?” His lips turned down in a gesture of either displeasure or thought. “Not that I know of. Why?”
“Well given that he is about to-“ Fourth Sister began.
The still, thick atmosphere was split by a high pitched shriek as Primary Visiting Ranger leapt out from behind a shrubbery and grasped at Secondary Visiting Ranger. Fourth Sister felt her frill slapping against the interior of her thermal wear in confusion. Primary Visiting Ranger was perhaps a full body length from Secondary Visiting Ranger. There was no way a human could physically touch another from that distance. However Secondary Visiting Ranger still leapt back with a vocalization that she was fairly certain counted as a profanity. She stooped over to pick up the probe Secondary Visiting Ranger had dropped.
“Really Bob?” Secondary Visiting Ranger demanded, his hand clutched over his primary circulatory pump. “Really?”
Primary Visiting Ranger was laughing in delight to such an extent that Fourth Sister was somewhat concerned for his health. He doubled over and braced his arms on his knees.
“Oh yeah Mack,” he finally gasped. “Really. You should have seen your face!”
“Real mature.” Secondary Visiting Ranger muttered.
She could not see under his goggles but from the flexing of the exposed muscles she presumed that he was performing that odd ritual of ‘rolling his eyes’ that was so very disturbing. Inset organs should not move in that manner.
“Is this an amusing encounter or an antagonistic one?” Fourth Sister asked as she handed Secondary Visiting Ranger the soil probe.
“Amusing!” Primary Visiting Ranger stated firmly, all of his teeth showing in a wide grin.
“Not antagonistic,” Secondary Visiting Ranger spoke at the same time. “Just annoying and immature.”
“You needed the cardio anyway,” Primary Visiting Ranger said.
He straightened and strode past them, not breaking stride but managing to clout Secondary Visiting Ranger on the shoulder with those built in clubs humans were so infamous for.
“See you back at the base Mack,” he said cheerfully.
“Not if I see you first,” Secondary Visiting Ranger muttered.

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  • Home
    • Book 1 "Humans are Weird: I Have the Data"
    • Book 2 "Humans are Weird: We Took a Vote"
    • Book 3 "Humans are Weird: Let's Work It Out"
    • "Dying Embers"
    • Testimonials
  • The Aliens
    • Dying Embers
    • Humans Are Weird
    • Miscellaneous
    • Fan Art
  • Betty's Blog
    • Humans Are Weird
  • Store: Betty's Booty
  • About & Contact
    • Bibliography
    • Links