Humans are Weird IRL – Pork Barrel Bases
Setting: Sitting around sipping coco while it pours rain outside.
Old Uncle #1 *waxing eloquent over old conspiracy theories*: “…and then there is all the testimony from so many credible sources! Four star generals, PhD certified doctors-”
Old Uncle #2 *nodding sagely*: “So many, and the things they saw. Official astronauts’ reports-”
Old Uncle #1: “Space ships, aliens on the surface-“
Old Uncle #2: “And there was that base on the dark side of the moon,” sips coco. “That was reported by very reliable sources.”
Old Uncle #1 *frowns seriously*: “Whose is it? Is it ours? If they went to all that trouble to build a base on the dark side of the moon they must be using it for research. They aren’t going to spend all those resources on nothing. That would be a total waste-“
Me,* bursts out with a barking laugh*: “Really? *Our* government?”
Uncles look at me blankly for a moment, recalling decades of port barrel spending, $2500 toilet seats, and general budgetary misuse.
Aunt #1 *in an official tone*: “Well Mr. NASA director sir, if we don’t spend this money by the end of the fiscal quarter they cut our funding next year.”
*Raucous laughter all around.*
And *that* is how my family came to the conclusion that there is an expensive and abandoned, cold war era, government base on the dark side of the moon, collecting dust in the cold vacuum of the lunar surface. Stacks of carbon copy forms sit on shelves, unstirred by any wind.
A large anchor sits in one corner.
Setting: Sitting around sipping coco while it pours rain outside.
Old Uncle #1 *waxing eloquent over old conspiracy theories*: “…and then there is all the testimony from so many credible sources! Four star generals, PhD certified doctors-”
Old Uncle #2 *nodding sagely*: “So many, and the things they saw. Official astronauts’ reports-”
Old Uncle #1: “Space ships, aliens on the surface-“
Old Uncle #2: “And there was that base on the dark side of the moon,” sips coco. “That was reported by very reliable sources.”
Old Uncle #1 *frowns seriously*: “Whose is it? Is it ours? If they went to all that trouble to build a base on the dark side of the moon they must be using it for research. They aren’t going to spend all those resources on nothing. That would be a total waste-“
Me,* bursts out with a barking laugh*: “Really? *Our* government?”
Uncles look at me blankly for a moment, recalling decades of port barrel spending, $2500 toilet seats, and general budgetary misuse.
Aunt #1 *in an official tone*: “Well Mr. NASA director sir, if we don’t spend this money by the end of the fiscal quarter they cut our funding next year.”
*Raucous laughter all around.*
And *that* is how my family came to the conclusion that there is an expensive and abandoned, cold war era, government base on the dark side of the moon, collecting dust in the cold vacuum of the lunar surface. Stacks of carbon copy forms sit on shelves, unstirred by any wind.
A large anchor sits in one corner.
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