Humans are Weird – High Waves
Ellipsoid Horizontal Major Five was far and away the most developed of the Undulate colonies. The first of it’s wild rivers had been tamed and nurtured into life generations before the Undulates had encountered any of the other sapient species. There were genuine tangles of family lines swimming though the carefully grown reefs, generations of Undulates whose appendages had never known the warmer and gentler waters of the homeworld. Clingspersistantly could be forgiven the welling of happy pride she felt as she draped over her friend’s broad shoulders.
“There’s a cluster of the brittle coral coming up,” Clingspersistantly gently nudged into her friend’s back.
“Thanks Cling,” Human Friend Susan replied as she shifted the angles of her velocity to avoid the section.
The colony was not short of human friendly sections. Far from it. The sprawling uplands, where the water was nearly prohibitively cold, swift, and lifeless were downright attractive to the giant mammals and attracted many as tourists separately from the allure of visiting an alien culture. However human bipedalisim sometimed did not mix well with the more brittle, or more jagged reef-forms that had been grown with only the sturdy membranes and dispersed surface area of the Undulates considered. Despite that several of their giant friends were wandering about the safer sections of the main agricultural cluster today.
Human Friend Susan had had a rather serious accident several days ago. The very concept of the accident was difficult for Clingspersistantly to grasp. The cause was fairly simple. Gravity had pulled down on Human Friend Susan’s foot with the full weight of her massive frame. A brittle section of reef had given way under the concentrated force. Her body had toppled forward at a rate, that combined with her having to be mindful of the damage the surrounding brittle coral would do to her unprotected palms, resulted in her twisting some portion of her lagging end in such a manner as it was not medically advisable to twist it. This had resulted in torsion damage to all of those mysterious points of connective tissue linkage. A sprain, the human medic had called it. There was apparently little even human medicine could do for such a mysterious injury and Human Friend Susan had spent several days trapped in a hammock while her tissues healed and even now she had to be extra mindful of how and where she stepped.
“I’ll be glad to get to the hot springs,” Human Friend Susan said, intaking and expelling a particularly voluminous draft of air.
“I have been told that many humans find the mineral content salacious,” Clingspersistantly said cheerfully.
A wave of amusement passed over Human Friend Susan’s skin, dispersing the trembling pain that had been there constantly for a moment.
“I think you mean salubrious Clings,” Human Friend Susan said in a tone that suggested suppressed laughter.
“Then what is the meaning of salacious?” Clingspersistantly asked.
Their conversation was interrupted when another human approaching from Human Friend Susan’s ventral vector raised an arm in a clear greeting. It was a bit confusing. The single appendage greeting that humans favored at this distance was certainly distinct but gave very little directional information. Still Human Friend Susan seemed to immediately recognize herself as the intended target of the greeting and raised an arm to wave back.
“Are the three of you planning to attend the mineral springs together?” Clingspersistantly asked with what she hopped was a sufficiently polite tone of eagerness.
The two of them alone at the springs had seemed rather dull if Human Friend Susan was just going to go limp in the warm water like last time.
“Nah, I don’t even-wait?” Human Friend Susan interrupted her own answer and her muscles stiffened and her stripes danced with something that seemed to always come just before she tripped.
“What do you mean three?” she asked in a tight tone.
“You,” Clingspersistantly replied, “that human there,” she indicated the one Human Friend Susan had signaled too, “and that human, I believe the word is behind, you,” Clingspersistantly indicated the other human coming swiftly in their wake.
“Oh sweet-,” Human Friend Susan dropped her arm to her side and began striding off at a brisk pace on a slightly different vector.
Her skin flushed with shame and she began to offgas stress pheromones that nearly made Clingspersistantly’s appendages tingle.
“Is this quite a safe vector Human Friend Susan?” Clingspersistantly asked, at a loss for any other question at the touch of the sudden shift in the human’s behavior.
Human Friend Susan slowed and took a deep breath before forcing her face into the shape that Clingspersistantly had been told would help to regulate her spiking pheromone response.
“Sorry bout that Clings,” Human Friend Susan said in a rueful tone. “It’s just, you know how it is, when you wave and they weren’t actually waving at you. Childish of me I know, but there it is. Wow, my foot is bothering me. Let’s get to that spring.”
Clingspersistantly hesitated but decided that the only polite option was to let the issue, that Human Friend Susan clearly did not with to speak of, flow out with the tide. After all, Human Friend Susan had given her a good starting point. She would look up the social implications of responding to a long distance wave that was not meant for you when she got back to the university.
"Humans are Weird: I Have the Data"
What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia
Amazon (Kindle, Paperback, Audiobook)
Barnes & Nobe (Nook, Paperback, Audiobook)
Kobo by Rakuten (ebook and Audiobook)
Google Play Books (ebook and Audiobook)
Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 111 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.
Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $50 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.