Humans are Weird – Double Check
“Pat-”
The human named suddenly released a wild yell and flung his center of mass backwards. The yell transformed to a yelp as the chair the human had been sitting on tilted past the point where the human could compensate for the gravitational force of the planet and fell to the plank floor with a clatter. Human Friend Pat had flung out an arm to balance himself, and by some combinations of mammalian gyrations had managed to avoid following the chair to the floor, ending up propped against the wall.
Notes the Passing Changes spent the time carefully arranging the detritus the paired couple had provided into what the Gathering hopped was a patient expression. They had gone to some lengths to provide a nice ceramic terrarium in a carved out nook in the walls and it comfortably housed enough tendril extensions for him to communicate easily with them in the cold winter months. Human Friend Pat regained his breath and his pheromone signature stabilized.
“Notes,” the human finally stated. “I didn’t realized you’d be...popping in today.”
“It was not one of my pregrown pathways,” Notes the Passing Changes admitted. “However I observed rather odd behavior in Sandy and wished to understand it.”
“Right,” Human Friend Pat seemed to have calmed down but was still showing slight signs of distress.
His movement profile suggested he was analyzing Notes the Passing Changes visible mass as if it were a threat.
“Does my appearance disturb you Pat?” Notes the Passing Changes asked.
The Gathering was quite pleased with the tone of concern he managed. It wasn’t easy growing tendrils through the solid log walls of Pat and Sandy’s dwelling and Notes the Passing Changes had spent months getting enough sound producing mass into their communications nook.
“No! Nono, no!” Pat assured the Gathering, then then human hesitated and took a deep breath. “Ya, a wee bit,” he admitted. “You didn’t do anything wrong, but those leaves are dead pale, and a bunch of dead place leaves suddenly becoming a dead pale face…”
“Perhaps I should make a noise before I manifest?” Notes the Passing Changes asked.
Human Friend Pat nodded his head vigorously.
“Ya, knock or something. What did you want to ask anyway?”
“I was curious if you had received information that I had not regarding the anticipated arrival time of the Shatar free merchant vessel.”
The human stilled as his thoughts turned inward and then his head slowly rotated in a negating gesture.
“No,” he said. “You monitor the incoming transmission so you would know if there was a change before us. It’s supposed to show up in the wee hours tonight.”
“And yet Sandy has made three trips through the snow from your dwelling to the post office,” Notes the Passing Changes observed.
Pat let out a low laugh and righted his chair before easing his frame back into it.
“Ah, that,” he said. “Yeah, she’s got a shipment coming in. It’s from her people back home so she’s really excited for it.”
“That is a well established human pattern,” Notes the Passing Changes agreed. “However it does not explain why she is walking some distance through the cold and snow when she is fully aware that there will be nothing at her destination but an empty postal storage unit.”
Pat reached up to scratch at the foliage he was experimenting with growing on his face.
“It’s a bit hard to explain,” he said slowly. “It’s like how humans go and look in the fridge to see if there’s something new when we know there isn’t.”
“That would be behavior of equal futility,” Notes the Passing Changes observed.
Human Friend Pat chuckled at that and then shook his head.
“I’ve got nothing for you on that Notes,” he said. “Just watch Sandy and if you figure out why she’s checking the post with no real chance of finding anything you can let us both know.”
Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 3rd book!
Amazon!
Barnes & Noble
Powell's Books
Google Play Books
Kobo By Rakuten
What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia
Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 300 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.
Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition until I run out of first run books.
AMAZON
“Pat-”
The human named suddenly released a wild yell and flung his center of mass backwards. The yell transformed to a yelp as the chair the human had been sitting on tilted past the point where the human could compensate for the gravitational force of the planet and fell to the plank floor with a clatter. Human Friend Pat had flung out an arm to balance himself, and by some combinations of mammalian gyrations had managed to avoid following the chair to the floor, ending up propped against the wall.
Notes the Passing Changes spent the time carefully arranging the detritus the paired couple had provided into what the Gathering hopped was a patient expression. They had gone to some lengths to provide a nice ceramic terrarium in a carved out nook in the walls and it comfortably housed enough tendril extensions for him to communicate easily with them in the cold winter months. Human Friend Pat regained his breath and his pheromone signature stabilized.
“Notes,” the human finally stated. “I didn’t realized you’d be...popping in today.”
“It was not one of my pregrown pathways,” Notes the Passing Changes admitted. “However I observed rather odd behavior in Sandy and wished to understand it.”
“Right,” Human Friend Pat seemed to have calmed down but was still showing slight signs of distress.
His movement profile suggested he was analyzing Notes the Passing Changes visible mass as if it were a threat.
“Does my appearance disturb you Pat?” Notes the Passing Changes asked.
The Gathering was quite pleased with the tone of concern he managed. It wasn’t easy growing tendrils through the solid log walls of Pat and Sandy’s dwelling and Notes the Passing Changes had spent months getting enough sound producing mass into their communications nook.
“No! Nono, no!” Pat assured the Gathering, then then human hesitated and took a deep breath. “Ya, a wee bit,” he admitted. “You didn’t do anything wrong, but those leaves are dead pale, and a bunch of dead place leaves suddenly becoming a dead pale face…”
“Perhaps I should make a noise before I manifest?” Notes the Passing Changes asked.
Human Friend Pat nodded his head vigorously.
“Ya, knock or something. What did you want to ask anyway?”
“I was curious if you had received information that I had not regarding the anticipated arrival time of the Shatar free merchant vessel.”
The human stilled as his thoughts turned inward and then his head slowly rotated in a negating gesture.
“No,” he said. “You monitor the incoming transmission so you would know if there was a change before us. It’s supposed to show up in the wee hours tonight.”
“And yet Sandy has made three trips through the snow from your dwelling to the post office,” Notes the Passing Changes observed.
Pat let out a low laugh and righted his chair before easing his frame back into it.
“Ah, that,” he said. “Yeah, she’s got a shipment coming in. It’s from her people back home so she’s really excited for it.”
“That is a well established human pattern,” Notes the Passing Changes agreed. “However it does not explain why she is walking some distance through the cold and snow when she is fully aware that there will be nothing at her destination but an empty postal storage unit.”
Pat reached up to scratch at the foliage he was experimenting with growing on his face.
“It’s a bit hard to explain,” he said slowly. “It’s like how humans go and look in the fridge to see if there’s something new when we know there isn’t.”
“That would be behavior of equal futility,” Notes the Passing Changes observed.
Human Friend Pat chuckled at that and then shook his head.
“I’ve got nothing for you on that Notes,” he said. “Just watch Sandy and if you figure out why she’s checking the post with no real chance of finding anything you can let us both know.”
Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 3rd book!
Amazon!
Barnes & Noble
Powell's Books
Google Play Books
Kobo By Rakuten
What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia
Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 300 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.
Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition until I run out of first run books.
AMAZON
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