The earth tone walls of the spacious office suddenly shook with the power of three massive blows, shaking down a shower of the freshly applied texture. Grinds heaved a sigh and shifted his tail on his work couch and looked ruefully at the last third of the end of season report on the blood-grain yeilds.
“Yo! Grinds!” the human voice came though the wall, muffled, but not enough to conceal the eagerness.
Grinds deliberately reached over and activated the comm unit.
“Yes?” he asked, trying to put stern disapproval of the behavior in his voice but he was afraid he just sounded irritated.
“Oh Right! Comms!” the human responded with a laugh. “Are you coming to the Lunatic Party tonight? Trisk Friend Tstk’sk wants to know.”
Grinds closed his report and turned to the door debating the social impact of demanding to know which human this was.
“Please come in,” he requested.
There was the sound of the human prodding at the door mechanism several times before the door lifted and the human, a dark haired male wearing loose white clothing ducked into the room. He was carrying a drink canister that was venting a not unpleasant fragrance and no little steam in one hand.
“So are you coming?” the human repeated the invitation when he had reorintated his body vertically.
“Human Friend Bon Jovi,”Grinds identified him. “I was not aware that there was a celebration of human madness planned for tonight.”
Human Friend Bon Jovi blinked at him, his odd round irises dilating and contracting as he processed Grinds’s statement. Then the human threw back his head and laughed.
“Nah, nah,” he said with a dismissive wave of the hand not holding the steaming drink. “Different word that. Lunar, moon, there’s a party on to view the moon tonight. It’s early enough, or late enough, that we’re all going to stay up and watch it together. We got a bonfire, drinks, food, all laid out.”
“Did you get permission from Seeps into the Streams?” Grinds asked.
“You betcha!” the human replied, bobbing his head up and down so furiously that it made the back of Grinds’s neck ache in sympathy. “Old Seeps found us this really great spot where the topsoil is really poor so it won’t sacrifice any good growing land, and there are all sorts of old fungal chunks laying around for the bonfire fuel-”
“None of these fungal chunks are going to release hallucinogenic spores when burned are they?” Grinds demanded, his scales prickling at the thought.
Human Friend Bon Jovi snorted and rolled his eyes.
“That happened once!” He insisted.
“Three times,” Grinds interjected in a rasping tone.
“And it was in a completely different biome from this!” the human went on. “Besides, Seeps checked for us. There was nothing in the chunks that won’t be deactivated by the flames.”
“Are you going to be providing mind altering substances to make up for this difference?” Grinds asked.
The human burst out laughing again.
“It’s not like that!” the human finally said.
“You are proving them though?” Grinds demanded.
“My dude!” the human said giving an expansive wave of both hands.
Grinds flinched as the large, steaming drink canister swung wide over his head.
“This is a grain producing colony!” the human enthused. “We breed new grains, we grow grains that were ancient before any of us left our own planets, we see how we can mix and merge grains of all types! It would be like, the deepest offense to all our ancestors if we didn’t have a little recreational fun at a moon themed party!”
“A little recreational poisoning you mean,” Grinds grumbled.
“Potato, pahtatoh,” the human said with a dismissive wave of his hand.
“There will be vodka too?” Grinds demanded, raising his tail in agitation.
“No! No, no,” the human quickly corrected him, “but quick catch there! I said this was a grain thing!”
“There will be no fireballs,” Grinds muttered, half a question.
“Well if you mean the official, ancient named brand no,” the human said with a grin. “Who can afford the transport fees when our local stuff is just as good. Better even! If you mean actual fireballs, well,” the human shrugged. “Fire breathing is a skill. I’m not going to try it that’s for sure.”
“Would my presence at this event decrease the likely hood of the other humans attempting to master this skill?” Grinds demanded.
“The only way to answer that question is to find out the fun way,” Human Friend Bon Jovi stated with a grin.
Grinds sighed and moved towards the door and the human gave a whoop of delight, his bare feet dancing across the floor to make way for Grinds.
“So what is special about the moon tonight that it is keeping the entire base up to view it?” Grinds asked.
“It’s a blood moon! The very first one we’ve had a chance to witness on this planet!” Human Friend Bon Jovi enthused as the walked out into the hallway. “We have blood grain blood whiskey for the blood moon too! It’s going to be a blast!”
“And what exactly is a blood moon?” Grinds asked, feeling more curiosity now.
“Oh right,” Human Friend Bon Jovi paused and pondered that a moment. “A full moon with a full lunar eclipse. You know, when the planet gets between its sun and its moon just right? If its a night cycle you can see the moon turn red, like human blood.”
“Thus a blood moon,” Grinds replied flicking his tail in understanding. “But why are you calling it a lunatic party instead of a lunar party? Why the implication of madness.”
Human Friend Bon Jovi paused in both walking and speech to stare down at Grinds, his soft fleshy face peaking over the flowing white clothing he wore. The human finally grinned and gave a slightly odd laugh.
“It’s probably a good thing you will be there to observe,” Human Friend Bon Jovi finally said. “You might want a recording device going.”
With that the human scampered off to greet a fellow mammal and Grinds huffed. He still wasn’t exactly sure why but he felt he would enjoy this party far more from under the safety of something sturdy and immovable.
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What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia
Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 300 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
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Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition for the same price as the crowdfunding campaign $35 domestic and $60 overseas. I'll do that until I run out of extra books.