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Humans are Weird - All Naked

1/14/2019

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Humans Are Weird – All Naked


“Are you feeling well this morning Human Friend Steve?” Crs’klt asked when Steve had settled onto the bench.

Steve gave a tired grunt as he leaned over the table and rested his elbows on either side of his breakfast tray. Crs’klt decided to ignore the clearly impolite gesture as no matter what that sound had meant Human Friend Steve was clearly not particularly chipper this morning.

“May we continue our conversation from last night?” Crs’klt asked once Steve had consumed the amount of coffee that allowed for normal brain function.

“Wha’ conversation?” Human Friend Steve asked, opening one eye far enough for his pupil to peer out at Crs’klt.

She tilted her head to the side and considered. There really had seemed to be multiple threads to the odd conversation last night. It would be hard to untangle them but she supposed the main point would do for a start.

“The one about the naked Trisk,” she explained.

Human Friend Steve stared at her though his one open eye for several seconds, then blinked both eyes slowly. He forced himself up into a position of maximal gravitational efficiency and took a deep breath before rubbing his face with his free hand.

“What now?” he asked.

“May we continue our conversation from last night about the naked Trisk?” she repeated slowly, making sure to enunciate each word clearly.

“Darlin’,” Human Friend Steve said slowly. “I have never once discussed the clothing or lack thereof you spider types wear, and we didn’t discuss anything last night.”

Crs’klt tilted her head to the other side and considered how best to argue the point. Given that he seemed in serious earnest she could only assume he was testing her on human protocol.

“Pics or it didn’t happen,” she said in a cheerful tone. “I understand.”

He blinked rapidly in a show of confusion as she activated the holo-projector in her tablet and played what she had recorded.

“Pardon me,” holo-her said to holo-him. “I did not understand that statement.”

Holo-Human Friend Steve sat bolt-upright in his bed staring fixedly at the wall with a large grin on his face.

“Naked!” he said and then giggled.

“Naked?” Holo-Crs’klt repeated in confusion.

“They are all naked.” Holo-Human Friend Steve clarified, lifting his finger to point at the wall.
Current Human Friend Steve was staring at the recording with a look of dawning horror on his face that was making Current Crs’klt rather uncomfortable.

“Who are all naked?” Holo-Crs’klt asked.

“All the Trisk,” he replied in a slow dull tone that was contradicted by another giggle. “They are all naked. Dancing.” He giggled again.

“We do not make a habit of clothing,” she replied. “But who exactly is dancing naked?”

Holo-Human Friend Steve blinked slowly at the wall, gave another giggle, and then slowly slumped back against his pillow. The next sound he made was clearly a snore.

Crs’klt stopped the recording and looked up at Human Friend Steve expectantly.

“Pics!” She said firmly. “So it happened. Now, what Trisk were you speaking of?”

Human Friend Steve groaned and dropped his face into his hands. He muttered something about it being too early for this, though he did not specify what ‘this’ was.

“Shall we discuss the naked Trisk at lunch then?”  Crs’klt asked.

“Sure, sure,” Human Friend Steve replied. “Just, before that look up sleep walking and sleep talking in humans in the psy-database.”

“Very well,” Crs’klt said. “Enjoy your breakfast Human Friend Steve.”
​
“And please don’t show that recording to anyone else,” he requested as she left. “I’ll never live that down. “ 
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  • Home
    • Book 1 "Humans are Weird: I Have the Data"
    • Book 2 "Humans are Weird: We Took a Vote"
    • Book 3 "Humans are Weird: Let's Work It Out"
    • "Flying Sparks"
    • "Dying Embers"
    • "Hidden Fires"
    • Testimonials
  • The Aliens
    • Dying Embers
    • Humans Are Weird
    • Miscellaneous
    • Fan Art
  • Betty's Blog
    • Humans Are Weird
  • Store: Betty's Booty
  • About & Contact
    • Bibliography
    • Links