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Humans are Weird - A Surprising Omelet

10/14/2019

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Thank you all so much for your updoots and feedback. It gives me the will to go on. Want to see more? Think about becoming a Patreon. Tea refuses to buy itself and the more time one has to spend on a day job the less time there is for befuddled aliens. 


Humans are Weird – A Surprising Omelet



“Will we be able to ingest the food like substance?” Twistunder asked.

He and Tumblesleft were hydrating in one of the hydrocarbon tubs that seemed ubiquitous in human supplies. The room around them had been decorated for a human celebration of some sort and they had asked permission to observed the decorations before the party began. They had been happily scooting around, taking notes on color schemes when Twistunder’s appendages had begun to itch. The ever helpful humans had provided them with the hydration tub. From there they could watch the  bustle of the preparations.

“There should be no problems,” Tumblesleft answered him. “There is almost no nutritional value in it but it is primarily simple sugars.”

“The guest should be arriving soon,” a human holding a green canister called out. “Do ya’ll need anything before I go and get the cake thing?”

“It’s not a cake!” yelled another human across the room.

“We are fine,” Twistunder assured him.

“Hey,” the human said as his face flushed with the dancing lights of eager delight. “We were going to do the cake-“

“Not a cake!” the other human corrected again.

“On that table over there,” the human gestured towards the central table with the canister, “but since you little dudes are over here I can do it right here in front of you. So you can see the colors better. You dudlets like colors right?”

“We do,” Twistunder agreed eagerly. “Please do the cake-“

“Not a cake!” the interruption came again.

“In front of us,” Twistunder finished.

“Will do little bud!” the human assured him as he turned and strode across the room.

“What is he going to do to the not-a-cake?” Tumblesleft asked.

“You are the nutritional expert,” Twistunder said, rippling in humor. “But there will be colors, and we do like colors.”

They rubbed appendages in amusement and began to exchange greetings with the arriving humans. The pulsing of the human music started and the lights began flashing wildly. The guests were chatting and eating the small foodstuffs provided for them. After some time the first two humans reappeared, one still holding the canister and the other holding a glistening, sculpted dome of crystals. The lights normalized and the music drifted to an end.

“Those are pretty colors,”  Tumblesleft said with admiration in the set of his body.

“What’s the canister for?” Twistunder suddenly asked as the humans approached.

“Why is that relevant?” Tumblesleft asked.

“It now has a trigger mechanism attached to the exhaust end,” Twistunder indicated with his gripping appendage.

“So?” Tumblesleft asked absently as he pulled himself further out of the tub as the humans set the not-a-cake on the table and the lights dimmed well below human tolerance ranges.

“I think it would be safer under water,” Twistunder stated, matching his actions to his words as the canister trigger began clicking in time to the human’s hand movements.

“Why do you-“ Tumblesleft began.

With a rushing sound a spear of flame leapt from the canister trigger and the humans made low sounds of approval. Tumblesleft stiffened and seemed stuck to the edge of the tub as the human played the fame over the not-a-cake. The crystalline structures shifted and changed at the touch. Once the entire surface had been altered the human turned off the flame and the rest of the humans applauded. Tumblesleft eased back into the water and shuffled closer to Twistunder.

“The colors,” Tumblesleft began softly.

“Very pretty,” Twistunder finished for him.

“Safer under the water,” Tumblesleft observed.

“Usually is,” Twistunder replied.

“I think the humans are inviting us out of the water,” Tumblesleft indicated.

“How long does it take those crystal structures to cool from direct flame exposure?” Twistunder asked.

“A little longer,” Tumblesleft said inching closer to Twistunder. “A little longer.” 
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  • Home
    • Book 1 "Humans are Weird: I Have the Data"
    • Book 2 "Humans are Weird: We Took a Vote"
    • Book 3 "Humans are Weird: Let's Work It Out"
    • "Dying Embers"
    • Testimonials
  • The Aliens
    • Dying Embers
    • Humans Are Weird
    • Miscellaneous
    • Fan Art
  • Betty's Blog
    • Humans Are Weird
  • Store: Betty's Booty
  • About & Contact
    • Bibliography
    • Links