First Week of Work

​First Week of Work
Day 1 Orientation
Boss *spots me thinking about doing the thing*:  “Really Adams? Reeeaaaaly?”
Me: “You cannot possibly know what I am thinking.”
Boss *glares*: “I know exactly what you arethinking!”
Me *mutters*: “Well I would have failed anyway, so there!”
Day 2 Minor Tasks
Me: “So I will put all our names on the check in/checkout board.”
Boss: “Adams, I love you, but you are not putting your handwriting on anything that is visible to the public, let alone the central planning board we use to ensure safety.”
Me: “…I already drew the boundary lines with a ruler.”
Boss *pats my head*: “You drew very good boundary lines. Now go do something else.”
Day 3 Actual Work
Boss: “I need to train the new staff. Here are the keys to the truck. Go be productive. I don’t care where or how. You know what needs to be done.”
Me *at the top of my lungs*: “FREEDOM!”
Boss*glares*
Me: “…did I say that out loud?”
Boss: “…and keep your radio on.”
Me: “I will totally keep my radio on!”
Spoiler Alert. I did not keep the radio on.
Day 4: Routine
Me *forgets to bring enough water into the field*
Boss *the moment I walk in the door in the middle of the afternoon*: “Did you remember to eat lunch?”
Me *hiding my parched voice*: “I totally remembered to eat! Hours ago. I ate lots of lunch!”
Boss *suspiciously*:  “Okay, good.”
Me *creeps towards sink*: “Yup, totally taking care of myself.”