Betty Adams Tall Tales
  • Home
    • Book 1 "Humans are Weird: I Have the Data"
    • Book 2 "Humans are Weird: We Took a Vote"
    • Book 3 "Humans are Weird: Let's Work It Out"
    • "Flying Sparks"
    • "Dying Embers"
    • "Hidden Fires"
    • Testimonials
  • The Aliens
    • Dying Embers
    • Humans Are Weird
    • Miscellaneous
    • Fan Art
  • Betty's Blog
    • Humans Are Weird
  • Store: Betty's Booty
  • About & Contact
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Humans are Weird - Surprises

1/15/2018

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Memo To All Rough End Base Personnel:
While the Base management does encourage all manner of inter-species interactions, and especially the sharing of scientific information, we ask that all personnel respect these rules.
  1. Organic biomatter shed from your person must be either handled as a potential bio hazard and stored as or disposed of properly.  (We are aware that humans shed their skin and hair ‘all over the place’ and can only ask that they attempt to exfoliate in the washrooms as much as is healthful.
  2. If one intends to gift a portion of your shed biomatter to another scientist for the sharing of biological information and expansion of the general data base, pleas ensure that said biomatter is packaged and labeled appropriately.
  3. Biological samples are under no circumstances to be left in the refrigeration unit labeled for edibles.  There is a separate refrigeration unit for samples and it is clearly labeled as such. Use it.
  4. If a human does happen to find an entire shed exoskeleton on top of the ravioli it is requested that they read any accompanying notes before reacting.
On another note the source of the “unholy shrieks” experienced by several base personnel earlier  today was traced to a particular human who does not chose to explain the source of their discomfort.  They were uninjured. And further inquiries should be sent to the Base commander. 
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Series Review - Lark Rise To Candleford

1/14/2018

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​If you want a nice, wholesome addiction this is your show. Think for a moment if Downton Abby had been written by Agatha Christy in her romantic phase. That is the vibe of “Lark Rise to Candleford”.
 Communism is a rising threat in Europe, measles epidemics are still common and deadly, the world is humming to news sent by telegraph, and harvests are still brought in by men with scythes. Set in rural Oxfordshire somewhere near the turn of the last century this four season show follows the life of the inhabitants of two villages, Lark Rise and Candleford. These villages might be best described as, ‘the middle of nowhere’ and ‘just left of the middle of nowhere’. Candleford is however a bustling market town with a telegraph in the post office and just a hint of the fashion of Paris in the ‘Stores’ across the street. When young Laura is sent to apprentice at the Post Office by her mother she is put in a prime position to watch, and journal about, how life changes for the people around her.
It is hard to overstate the charm of this show based on the semi-autobiographical books by Flora Thompson. It is the finest of BBC craftsmanship. It shows the wonder of discovery, the horror of pestilence, the terrifying and thrilling changes of the 20th century, all without traveling more than eight miles in any direction. That is in fact a very significant point in the show. Eight miles or less. Watching this show is like expecting a PBJ and finding a fully loaded BLT on artesian bread.
Go, fall in love with the characters, enjoy the English countryside, and do try not to notice too much when the show forgets to edit out the modern rain gutters on that one house in the background. 
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Flicker and Flame

1/12/2018

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The ground is cold,
The sky is dark,
The birdies sleeping in the park.
My paws are cold,
My whiskers hot,
The fire burns until it's not.
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Working Hard

1/10/2018

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Hopping along through the snow,
Getting my pawsies all wet,
Being a kitty is hard,
But I'll get those mousies yet!
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Strawberry Time

1/9/2018

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The winter is cold, 
The summer is hot,
I wish the strawberries were in bloom,
But they're not. 
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Humans Are Weird - Aurora

1/8/2018

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Humans Are Weird - Aurora

​“Don’t misunderstand me,” Twistunder said, carefully articulating each word. He was perched on a rock about the same size as his human friend’s head and the cold was seeping into his gripping appendages.  He dearly looked forward to the time when their friendship advanced to the state that he could ask to actually sit on the blessedly warm head. “It is not that I do not find the sky…oh…that was a double negative…I do find…is a double positive better?”
The Undulate sensed that his human companion was giving him a disapproving glare. At least Twistunder thought Bryant was glaring at him. Bryant’s facial positioning clearly indicated displeasure but it was always hard to tell which direction a human’s bipedal form was indicating. Twistunder considered his options and remembered that they were off duty.
“My apologies,” Twistunder said, reaching over to pat Bryant’s arm with a gripping appendage. “You are resting. I will stop asking questions.”
“Questions are fine,” Bryant said, leaning back to rest his head on his arm and focusing on the northern sky again. “Just not about grammar.”
“Why do you consider that particular part of the sky,” Twistunder lifted both of his gripping appendages in what humans called ‘air quotes’ and his people called intensifiers, “more beautiful  than any other? “
“The aurora Twist!” Bryant exclaimed gesturing toward the north with one hand. “Just look at it. Red, pink, blue, green, all the colors now.”
Twistunder focused as hard on his photoreceptors as he could, spreading his motile appendages to catch more of the heavenly light. After a moment his mass overwhelmed the gripping power of the few appendages he had left gripping the cold, hard rock.  He swayed and latched onto the rock again.
“I suppose the unusually organized patterned behavior is somewhat novel,” Twistunder admitted. “It is rare to see such large effects other than due to the solar winds.”
Bryant frowned thoughtfully and twisted his head over to look at the Undulate again. “So we agree that the sky is beautiful, but you don’t think that the aurora looks any more beautiful than the rest of the sky?”
“Indeed,” Twistunder said, making sure to shrug the appendages analogous to his shoulders. 
“But we see color the same right?” Bryant asked. “I mean you recognize black, white, and the three main colors.”
“Correct,” Twistunder replied. “I greatly enjoyed the dot charts your universities shared with us.”
“But you think that plain black and white is just as beautiful as all that color?” Bryant asked, waving to the north again.
Twistunder refocused on the night sky in mild confusion. The swirling atmospheric colors, pricked by the many-toned stars, created the usual near infinite color pallet, that sense of divine depth, that was washed out in the burning light of daystars.
“The night sky bleeds with every color of the coral,” Twistunder quoted the old children’s poem.
Bryant stared at him and a shocked look spread across his face, closely followed by a look of giddy expectation.
“You see the night sky in all the colors?” He asked.
“And you only see it as black and white,” Twistunder replied, realization dawning. “That is why the aurora phenomenon is so valuable to you.”
“The xeno-biologists must have missed this somehow,” Bryant said with a grin.
“Well our species did only meet recently,” Twistunder replied.
“Hey,” Bryant sat up and held out his hands to Twistunder. “Let’s get back to the base and write this up.  My contract says I get a bonus for new inter-species discovery.”
To Twistunder’s delight, the moment Bryant’s hands closed around him the human gave an exclamation of displeasure.
“You are freezing Twist. Here, hold onto my head.”
Twistunder gripped the shaved surface in delight as they moved back towards the base. This was a fascinating discovery really. If humans were blind to the colors of the night sky that would cause a stir is several different disciplines and if the discovery fell to the Undulates that would greatly increase their prestige at the University. He examined the glowing stripes that covered the back of the human’s neck with the photo receptors on his gripping appendages. If their sense of color was so limited could they even see their own bioluminescence? That might explain the seemingly random distribution of self depiction pigment in their visual art. He resolved to ask Bryant about it after the human completed his report. 
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Stripes and Glow

1/4/2018

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Humans have stripes and we display bio-luminescence. True story. Of course it was Japanese scientists who proved the glowing bit. But this lends itself to all sorts of fun interactions with aliens. Human eyes can't see the stripes or the glow but what if we met a species that could? What would art in alien galleries look like?
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Butterflies and Hotel Rooms

1/3/2018

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I just booked my hotel rooms for NorWesCon2018! Also a fluffy flying insect. 
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The World is in the Details

1/2/2018

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If you spend a good time looking at the detritus on the forest floor you can learn what the forest looks like without actually looking up. Or at least you can get a good idea. Likewise a great author can create a clear overarching image of their world by giving the relevant details in a specific scene. 
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  • Home
    • Book 1 "Humans are Weird: I Have the Data"
    • Book 2 "Humans are Weird: We Took a Vote"
    • Book 3 "Humans are Weird: Let's Work It Out"
    • "Flying Sparks"
    • "Dying Embers"
    • "Hidden Fires"
    • Testimonials
  • The Aliens
    • Dying Embers
    • Humans Are Weird
    • Miscellaneous
    • Fan Art
  • Betty's Blog
    • Humans Are Weird
  • Store: Betty's Booty
  • About & Contact
    • Bibliography
    • Links