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A St. Paddy's Day Play

3/17/2016

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Social media has  revitalized certain forms of storytelling. Most conversational posts are already set up like a play, with only the dialogue and a few emoting signals written out, the rest left to inference. This can lead to some fun spontaneous playwriting. 

So here is the scene: three figures sit on a darkened stage, facing away from each other; a sailor in his cabin, a nurse with her charge, and student in her dorm. The sailor laughs and holds up a picture depicting the difference between how North American' and Ireland celebrate St. Patrick's Day. The nurse and the student laugh.
 
Nurse: Yeah, that’s pretty much how it is. Except in my home town we just bake Irish brown bread and eat traditional Irish meals.
Sailor:  Does anyone at least drink Guinness?
Nurse: I have heard a beer of that name mentioned. Also we listen to Irish music, well more than usual anyway...
Student: my family does soda bread and corned beef, among other things (like mint chocolate truffles)   :)
Sailor:  :D Again I ask does anyone at least drink Guinness?
Nurse: No clue, I don't drink and neither do my parents.
Sailor: O_O Not even a babysham?
Nurse: Does eating fresh clover sprouts in my salad count?
Sailor:  Is it alcoholic?
Nurse: No.
Sailor:  Then it does not count
Nurse: Student!, now I have to make soda bread! It looks like it would be easy peasy to make allergen free.
Nurse: Hmmmm, there are -OH groups in the vinegar in my fire cider...
Sailor: :(  Jeez, it St Patrick's Day. Salad, bread & music. Great
Nurse:   ;) Perhaps I will drive all the snakes out of my property. But no, I like snakes...
Sailor: How about snake bites?
Sailor:  AKA Cider and Lager
Nurse: We only have garter snakes here. :) They are cute and cuddly. If you get them REALLY mad they will poop on you.
Student:  Are the snakes even awake during this winter/not winter?
(And sometimes my folks use Harp in stew and cooking, but I don't think we've ever used Guinness)
Nurse: Yes they are still in hibernation, but the little baby snakes like to sleep in the black plastic in the garden over winter as it is warmer so we have to be careful when digging things out for spring.
Student:  Aww, I like snakes!
Sailor:  I... er... by the red dragon what just happened? I'm trying to be funny by steering the conversation towards beer and now it's about cute, cuddly, give them to little children, snakes.
Nurse:  You are dealing with two women of Irish decent. Did you *really* expect to maintain control of the conversation? Or for it to be making a lick 'o sense?
Sailor:  No not really.
Student:  By the way, my sister said to tell you that this thread is "a thing of beauty".
Nurse:  :) When the good Sailor and I get started it can quickly get interesting. Do tell her I was glad to entertain.
A relative logs on and says something amusing and inappropriate the Sailor, Nurse, and Student get up and leave quietly. 
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  • Home
    • Book 1 "Humans are Weird: I Have the Data"
    • Book 2 "Humans are Weird: We Took a Vote"
    • Book 3 "Humans are Weird: Let's Work It Out"
    • "Flying Sparks"
    • "Dying Embers"
    • "Hidden Fires"
    • Testimonials
  • The Aliens
    • Dying Embers
    • Humans Are Weird
    • Miscellaneous
    • Fan Art
  • Betty's Blog
    • Humans Are Weird
  • Store: Betty's Booty
  • About & Contact
    • Bibliography
    • Links