Humans are Weird – Tomorrow


Exploratory Ranger Chch’ch paused as he removed the final layer of his body armor and slowly rotated his head to stare at the glowing polygon that rose in a squat tower over their housing spires in the deep darkness of the surrounding forest. He centered it in his primary focus angled his body curiously as he took in the shadows that played over the wall. A table. The angular lines were clearly the shadow cast by one of the massive tables the human used. The lesser lines of shadow wold be the chair the human perched on. The rounded shapes bent between them would be the human.
“Sterilization bay is ready for cephal-plates,” Ranger Tstk’tk clicked, holding his paws out for the carapace.
Chch’ch handed it over to be put in the sterilization pod but didn’t turn his main attention away from the human. The massive mammal was occasionally moving. Subtle shifting of his gripping appendages suggested he was manipulating something with his spindly, hairless paws, but the shadows didn’t hold enough form data to make it clear what he was doing exactly.
“Ranger Tstk’tk,” Chch’ch said slowly. “I was under the impression that Ranger Boitumelo would be leading our efforts to breach the northern wall tomorrow.”
“That’s what the assignment web’s said for the past week,” the older ranger agreed as he began stacking leg plates into the scrubbers.
He carefully placed the curved plates on the separators and closed the lid with a satisfied set to his chelicerae. The scrubbers hummed to life as the stripped the clinging biomatter of the armor. The older ranger rotated to look at Chch’ch and his balding chelicerae twitched in irritation.
“Got another question?” the older Ranger asked, almost respectfully.
“I was also under the impression that humans required eight hours of sleep to function safely,” Chch’ch observed, feeling his hairs bristle in irritation.
The older ranger’s chelicerae rotated in a distinctly irritated gesture and he turned to putting the paw booties on their radiation racks.
“Ranger Tstk’tk?” Chch’ch pressed, turning his primary eyes on him.
“That,” the older ranger said as he expertly stretched the booty over the mount, “was not a question.”
“Shouldn’t the human be asleep?” Chch’ch asked, making sure to emphasize the intonation.
The old ranger shrugged several shoulders and waved a paw dismissively before returning to his work. With a huff from his main lung Chch’ch shook out his legs and trotted to the edge of the sanitation platform. To be fair it wasn’t Ranger Tstk’tk’s business to tend to the sleep habits of the newer rangers. No, that duty fell to the ranking Ranger regardless of age or experience, and a seasoned exploratory ranger had rank over pretty much everyone.
Chch’ch took the ladder to the skybridge that attached to the peak of the glowing human habitat. The cool night wind, scented with every trace of an alien forest brushed lazily over his legs and abdomen. After spending the majority of the evening in the armor it felt heavenly if a bit chilly this far above the ground. He reached the door set into the peak of the human’s structure and entered the warm still air by the central light with a sigh. He pulled his legs up in his best, officer of rank position and prepared to click out a greeting. Only to deflate as Ranger Boitumelo leapt up from his table and bolted out the human sized door the the structure, leaving them flapping in the breeze.
“Of course,” Chch’ch clicked, rubbing his face in annoyance.
He decided to enter the habitat rather than attempt chasing after the human. Experience told him the human was either rushing to the facilities to excrete waste, or would be tearing around the inside of the perimeter fence to burn excess energy. Chch’ch stared down at there the human had been sitting at the table and saw the Ranger’s personal tablet open and lit with lines of rigid human text. Curious, Chch’ch descended from the entrance down the wall and came to rest on the table. The metadata visible at the margin of the tablet suggested this was a fictional story. Chch’ch had just parsed out the words for ‘tree’ and ‘planet’ when the air in the structure whirled like a cyclone as the human burst in, face alight with some wild delight and eyes roving the room, unfocused but seeming to search.
“Ranger Boitumelo!” Chch’ch snapped out.
The human gave a start, and his gaze snapped to focus on Chch’ch.
“Hey’ya!” the human burst out,, took a deep breath, visibly centered himself, and flashed his internal mandible protuberance in a gesture of delight.
“Ranger Chch’ch,” Boitumelo managed the more formal greeting. “What can I do for you?”
“Assure me that you will be functional when you escort Beta Squad into unexplored territory when the suns rise,” Chch’ch stated, deciding to get to the point.
The human blinked at him for much longer than the merely polite six second pause demanded before glancing down at his data pad with a rueful grin.
“That late is it?” the human asked. “Yeah, I’ll be fine tomorrow boss. I’m young and my body can take it.”
“Why must your body, ‘take it’”? Chch’ch demanded still feeling a bit testy.
The human’s grin widened and he pointed at the data pad.
“New book from home,” he explained. “Came in the last data transmission. My kid sister sent it . I was just going to read one chapter before bed, but you know-”
The human waved one of his massive appendages as if he really did expect Chch’ch to ‘know’.
“I expect you to be honest about your status tomorrow morning Ranger,” Chch’ch finally said.
“Will do boss!” the human stated as he turned off the datapad and started shucking his thermal armor. “And don’t worry! I’ll be bright eyed and bushy tailed!”
Chch’ch turned to climb back up the wall and leave the way he came. This humans was supposed to be fully neurologically developed. He idly wondered if disrupting your sleep cycle for a new book was culturally acceptable in this human’s swarm, or if he had been sent a trouble maker. However the dawn would tell and he had a hammock to sink into. 

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What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


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 Humans are Weird – Crossed Lines


Forty-third Trill swung lightly on his perch and fought the urge to take command of the Oozle away from Twenty-Ninth Click. The smallest of the research vessels the Oozle was the most prone to catching the wind and being thrown off-course. His second in command was a more than experienced helmsclaw and when Forty-third Trill was faithfully following the thermals he could admit that Twenty-ninth Click could dodge the ship around the many hazards of the north canyons better than he could. Still, Forty-third Trill mused as he extended one wing past the protection of the windshield, the cold had to be getting to his second no matter how good that insulating coat was that nearly completely engulfed him and he wouldn’t want his second getting cold numbed.
The ambient temperature was well within the comfort range for a Winged in flight. However the air was heavy with moisture and even when they weren’t in the shadows of the tall canyon walls the pale sunlight only filtered through the thick clouds. It might make his wrinkled old sensory horns tingle, but it wouldn’t warm his wings. With a shudder he pulled his wing out of the wind stirred up from their passage and tucked it against his fur. They had a slight tailwind which was getting them home faster than usual, but it wasn’t much.
Even Private Rowlands had abandoned the perch in the bow of the ship that he preferred for the shelter of the windshield. The human was sprawled out behind him in the cargo area, having made a rough human perch by strapping down various algae traps. It was mildly annoying to have a flight member coated in the toxic algae by the time the workday was done, but the human always pointed out that he was protected by his wet suit and as long as the Winged didn’t try to perch on anything that glowed green they would be fine too. The reasoning was sound but seeing the majority of his wing clustered tightly to the human’s exposed chest, a mere winglength from where the green smears began on the wetsuit was hardly comforting.
At the moment Private Rowland’s head was bowed to duck below the stream of air flowing down from the top of the windshield and it bobbed slightly as they went over the waves. His eyes were closed behind his glasses and the majority of his fur was hidden under the thin cloth that was tied around his head. His arms were spread out, clutching the back row of traps for balance. It didn’t look particularly comfortable, but Private Rowland was breathing evenly in the way that indicated light sleep and the Winged on his chest nestled comfortably against his heartbeat.
The boat swerved as they approached their final vector causing the human to sway slightly to counterbalance. Behind the radiation shields he wore his eye flicked open and the Winged on his chest fluttered in response to his increasing awareness. The human rolled his head and his farsighted binocular eyes flicked around the canyon walls, to the approaching docks, to the still cloudy sky. Forty-third Trill could almost imagine that he could read the human’s thoughts by merely tracking the movements of those expressive eyes, with their strange white outlines and their tiny cores.
Private Rowland sat forward and with a rueful smile tapped one shoulder just a few inches from the cluster of Winged on his chest.
“No, no, not yet!” protested a chorus of voices. “We’re not there yet! Just got warm! It can wait!”
However the long lectures about how not to take advantage of human mass and thermodynamics seem to have finally caught up to the wing and with a cascade of disgruntled chirps they removed themselves from the human’s bare chest and flew to their regulation perches. They did make sure to look as put out, cold, and miserable as possible however. The human smiled absently at their antics, but his eyes were still tracking the approaching dock as he resealed his wet suit, closing the gap he had opened to warm his companions. Keeping his center of mass low and towards the center of the boat the human moved to the bow and took up the bowline in one hand.
Twenty-ninth Click expertly altered their power output to counter the sudden shift in mass and Forty-Third Trill had to admit that he could not have done it half so well. The rest of the wing was watching out the front windshield in interest as the wind from their speed tore at the immovable human where he crouched ready to leap onto the dock. Of course the automated systems could do this, but that would cause strain on the simple computer of the craft and Private Rowlands needed to be kept sharp if he was going to ever be a counter to the beasts of the depths.
“Now!” shouted half the wing as the ship approached the dock.
Weather or not he heard the human agreed and leapt from the boat, landing on the dock. Forty-third Trill had seen the human do this dozens of times now and he was only watching from half his horns. So his first hint that something was wrong was a worried trill from a younger member of the wing. He snapped his head away from the controls and stared at Private Rowland. Normally at this moment the human’s hands would be tossing the line around the wings of the cleat while his eyes tracked the movement of the boat. However at the moment Private Rowland was simply staring down at the cleat with a slack look on his face. The boat struck the dock with only minor force. Twenty-ninth Click was too good a pilot to strike even marginally too hard despite the winds. However the boat still rebounded and with the power turned down for docking there was little .
“Drop the line!” shrieked out a dozen voices as half the flight abandoned their perches for flight in panic.
Either they spoke too high for the human to hear or whatever internal convulsion had paralyzed him had blocked the sound because as the boat rebounded his massive hand still gripped it, and as impressive as the mass of a human was, it was still no match for a fully equipped science vessel and in an agonizingly slow motion the human was pulled off center, then off the dock. Private Rowland did release the line as he flailed over the water and plunged in.
Twenty-ninth Click was cursing the fool of a human, the miss-woven line, the over-engineered ship, and several other elements of the situation loud enough to be heard over the wind even as he reignited the power source and attempt to bring the ship to a stand still. Just as the boat paused the water beside the dock surged up and the humans head burst out of the water. Private Rowland spun around trying to find them through the water streaming down his face. Forty-third Trill has several long moments to work up the scolding that was about to escape through his teeth when the canyon winds suddenly experienced one of their abrupt changes. A gust blew up behind them driving the ship forward. For a panicked moment Forty-third Trill faced the terrifying prospect of having to write a report of what happens when a human head is caught between a research vessel and an immovable dock. Twenty-ninth Click was screaming profanity into the wind, as he applied full power away from the dock. The human’s head surge up and then down again before swinging out of sight below the gunnel.
Half the wing abandoned the windshield screaming frantically for Private Rowland’s attention, but the moment they were out in the wind it snatched them away and they began fighting not to be blown out over the canyon. Crushed human, wind scattered hypothermic flight, traumatized pilot, Forty-third Trill was dolefully counting up the grams of trouble this was going to cost him when the boat bumped once more against the dock and was pinned there by the perverse wind.
“Prepare the auto docking program,” he spit out to what remained of the wing in the sheltered area.
However the water on the far side of the dock suddenly bubbled up and out burst a very not-squished Private Rowland, a shimmering green slick of algae running down his unprotected face and shoulders. He scrambled up on the dock and like some sort of helpful horror snatched up the bow line and secured it on the wings of the cleat. Then he scrambled back and did the stern line before standing erect and darting down the dock with his arms held up. The struggling members of the flight eagerly took up a position in his wind lee or simply attached themselves to his hair despite the dripping green contamination. When he had collected them all he trotted back through the wind and leaned into the windshield to dislodge them.
“Hylo!” he exclaimed with a wide grin on his face. “Looks like there’s a bad algae growth under the dock! I better get the scrubbers out.”
Forty-third Trill snarled at the human.
“Wash that off your skin now! The scrubbers can wait. You are already welting up!” the Winged snapped. “That goes for the rest of you too!” he hissed at the rest of the contaminated, but they were already being doused in decon spray by the wing medic.
The human touched his face and gave a wince. The shrugged and took a running leap off the dock to get away from the contaminated water.
“Have enough spray ready for him when he comes out of the water,” Forty-thrid Trill said with a sigh.
The human was alive and mostly uninjured. He wasn’t going to have to send out rescue parties down the canyons, and it really was a good thing to discover the algae growth before it spread too far. His day had gone from normal, to catastrophic, to merely annoying in a matter of moments and he was grateful that it had not stopped at catastrophic. However there was now they issue of why a human, who was supposed to be fully mentally functional, had just completely forgotten how to tie a knot so basic that it wasn’t even restricted to sapient species, had forgotten that the ship outmassed him, and hadn't see a wall of green algae. Forty-third Trill wondered absently if he was going to need to invent another new report form.

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What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 300 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
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QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition until I run out of first run books.
AMAZON

 Humans are Weird – Cold Shock


Brilliant blue light seared down through the atmosphere, bounced through the leafless branches, and fell, piercing the leg-thick ice beneath them. Around the edge of the small ice field mounds of the dry, fluffy snow formed a perimeter where the clearing process had pushed what had once covered the pond.
First Aunt felt her antenna twitching against the flexible covering that protected them from the Ultraviolet rays. She was mostly certain that the symptom was psychosomatic. She angled her head to take another subtle look at First Sister. The eldest daughter of the tenuous new hive was but half grown. The sturdy green thermal insulation that swathed her from her toes to her antenna tips gave her a comical appearance and from the bulge around her neck her frill kept trying to extend against the material. Her neck tube was nearly slipping out of her lower harness and First Aunt strung a mental line to reset the insulating layers. However First Sister’s antenna were quite still as she stared down in fascination at the ice beneath their feet, suggesting that the bright and cheerful youngster was not feeling the maddening itching.
While First Aunt mulled over this First Sister rotated her body and waved her arm vigorously over her head. First Aunt examined the direction she was waving in and felt a flicker of annoyance as she spotted the local Ranger stomping across the hill just outside the perimeter of their hive. The human, a Seventh Brother, from a hive that had produced no females at all, was notoriously unsociable by not only human but Shatar standards. Neither Mother nor Father had been able to establish social relations with him despite the fact that his last fellow Ranger had departed weeks ago and the Corps had failed to send another. Even their adopted Grandfather had not been able to establish more than a practical trading relationship with the human. The elders of the tribe had tacitly decided to leave any further social interactions to Grandfather. It seemed that the line had not stretched down to the newest generation.
“First Sister!” First Aunt clicked out. “What is the reading on the resivore ice depth there?”
The young one scrambled a bit as she readjusted the probe in her hands. She quickly tapped the ice beneath her and it made an odd report. First Aunt’s antenna twitched hard though she wasn’t quite sure why. The probe made many sounds in response to its sounding. True she had never heard that particular combination of tink, crack, and hiss before, but she was uncertain why it filled her with such unease. Much later, she would explain to Grandfather that it was just a bad noise.
“Two millimeters!” First Sister chirped out.
“That can’t be correct,” First Aunt stated, feeling a surge of irritation. “Take it again-”
Her voice froze as still as the crystallized water around her as the anomalous reading and the strange sound coiled around her antennas.
“Stop!” She snapped out. “Come to me First Sister!”
However it was too late. First Sister had already raised the probe at First Aunt’s order and she could not have redirected the mass if she tried. It struck the ice between her forefeet and once again it made the same strange pattern. There was the tink of the metal tip striking the ice, then the crack came, long and spreading and now clearly from the ice below instead of the probe. However the last sound, the hiss of escaping air turned into a gurgle as the green water of the algal reservoir.
First Aunt scrambled towards her precious little niece, but the bulky thermal insulation slowed her, and the friction pads that kept her legs safe from sliding slowed her more. She watched in horror as First Sister’s fore-legs fell into the broken ice and First Sister chittered in agony. Almost slowly First Sister’s body tipped into the water and disappeared from view in the murky green of the algae and the ice. Despite the insulation something froze in First Aunt’s lungs. She staggered to a stop as it struck her like a blow. There was nothing she could do.
Her fingers picked almost absently at the comm device attached to her external harness. She had to tell First Mother, but what if First Father was there? What if he heard that First Sister was gone? Her fingers found her comm and she activated it, the speaker hummed to life.
“Fourth Cousin….I mean First Aunt!” Third Mother called out, ending with an unprofessional chitter of amusement at her mistake. “What is your status?”
First Aunt opened her mandible to answer but something she had been vaguely aware of suddenly forced itself into her cone of focus. The human ranger had suddenly cut his trail at nearly ninety degrees and had begun sprinting down towards them with long loping strides that lifted his feet cleanly over the snow. He had cleared the perimeter hedge by simply vaulting over it and had begun running over the pond towards the spreading green cracks, speeding up with every stried. He now began to shed the massive insulating layers he wore, dropping them on the ice in a colorful trail. By the time he reached the hole where First Sister had disappeared he was wearing nothing but the thinnest of wicking layers. He never paused as he reached the hole, instead he leapt in feat first.
“First Aunt!” Third Mother was demanding in frantic clicks. “What is going on? Why did you-”
“First Sister fell through the ice!” First Aunt was suddenly able to move and speak again.
A hissing chitter of horror came over the comm. First Aunt was scrambling towards the hole in the ice now as a faint sprout of hope bloomed in her frill.
“Human Seventh Brother has gone after her!” First Aunt explained quickly.
A chatter of frantic voices came over the line.
“I can’t understand you!” First Aunt snapped out. “Please have Fifth Cousin, I mean Second Aunt come out with the heavy mass transporter and all able bodied Cousins, Aunts, who can fully insulate themselves!”
There was an abrupt silence from the other end of the comms and then Grandfather’s soothing old voice came on.
“The orders have been given,” he stated. “Now can you tell me-”
But First Aunt cut him off with a frantic chitter. First Sister, at least her body, suddenly burst out of the water, held aloft in the massive hand of the human. With a mighty heave he tossed her out of the greenish water and onto the hard surface of the ice where she lay curled as tightly as if she had been hours dead instead of moving freely and joyously only moments before. First Aunt ran up to her and gently rotated the small body.
“First Sister is out of the water,” she said into the comms. “She is cold and stiff-”
“What about Seventh Brother?” Grandfather cut in.
Recalling the human First Aunt tilted her head back to get a focus on him. For a moment he dipped down into the water, then he surged upwards and flung his hands onto the ice. His entire body writhed as he trunk-like legs thrashed and slowly but surely came out of the green water to lay flat on the ice.
“He is out of the water too,” First Aunt stated.
“The mass transporter is in the far storage caves and will take some time to reach you, but it is on its way,” Grandfather said, his voice smoothing with relief. “How is First Sister?”
“She isn’t breathing!” First Aunt exclaimed, resting her hand on the young one’s abdomen.
Frantic chitters overwhelmed the comm for a moment, but First Aunt was distracted by the human writhing towards her across the ice. Instead of resuming his usual bipedal stance he was scrambling like an Undulates across the surface.
“Put her on my back!” He snapped out. “Got to get her dry!”
It took a moment for First Aunt to translate the human language. It was never her strongest achievement, but when she did she obeyed instantly, rolling the uninteresting form up onto the broad flat surface of the human’s back.
“Hold her there!” The human ordered as he immediately set off for the nearest edge of the pond.
First Aunt obeyed. She was uncertain how the human planned on drying off First Sister, but the concept was sound and the whole point of letting Rangers on a new hive-world was to let them help you in strange situations. Her comm was squawking out demands for information in several different voices but she ignored it and focused on balancing First Sister against the human’s writhing movements. They reached the edge of the algae pond and the human surged up and flung himself into the burm of powdery snow. He dislodged First Sister and rolled over in the stuff a few times leaving a green algal smear behind him. Then he grabbed two great handfuls of the snow and vigorously rubbed it through his hair.
First Aunt felt a glimmer of understanding. The dry, frozen snow instantly absorbed and froze the thin layer of water on his skin. She hesitantly reached down and pressed a handful of the glittering mass against First Sister. However the human had lunged to his feet and now lumbered up to her.
“Take off the insulation!” He snapped. “It’s all wet inside and we need to get her dry. I don’t know how.”
First Aunt saw the logic in that and gave a few quick tugs at the release points. It was difficult with First Sister so stiff and unyielding but they were soon loose.
“Let me!” he snapped. “Go back. Get that orange bag and bring it here quick.”
First Aunt felt a snap of irritation, but trimmed it quickly. This was why they had Rangers after all. She moved as quickly as she could across the ice while keeping an antenna curled at the human. He quickly but carefully divested First Sister of the insulating gear she was wearing and spread it flat on the snow. He had the sense not to abrade First Sister’s membrane with the ice crystals at least. His hands flew as he snatched up masses of it and would press each new handful once, quickly to her membrane before discarding the old snow for new. First Aunt found the small orange bad and was surprised and relieved to find it light weight. She hurried back to the human, whose skin had gone from brilliant red to white and was beginning to turn blue.
“Pull the tab,” he ordered.
She did, and the thing jumped out of her hands and rolled to a flat section of snow. There it rapidly expanded into a domed enclosure with a clear band that allowed light in and out. The human heaved his body up and though the markings that indicated the entrance, pulling First Sister after him. He arranged his body so his folded legs provided a fairly large surface and he set First Sister’s body on this. He reached up and squeezed a cylinder that extended from the top of the emergency shelter and it dropped down. First Aunt recognized it as a portable heater. The human hunched his thick torso around First Sister and spread his arms. First Aunt realized he was focusing all the heat on the little body. She watched in fascination and trepidation as the human’s skin turned from blue, back to white, and then to pink once again. Finally he lifted his head and blinked at her.
“Hey,” he said. “If its safe can you go get my clothes?”
“Of course!” She stated as she turned and scampered back across the refreezing ice to retrieve them.
The the human “clothes” were heavy and cumbersome with their complex layers of moisture wicking and solar and thermal radiation needed to preserve the complex human membrane and it took her some time to drag them back to the emergency shelter.
“When hers are dry shake them out and hang em on that bush,” the human ordered next.
First Aunt had to stare at him for several long moments before she understood that he meant First Sister’s thermal insulation. Again, it was a sound idea. The dry snow had indeed removed all the moisture from the layers and First Aunt found it easy to shake the excess snow off of them.
By this time she could seen the mass transporter floating towards them over the snow with the towering form of Second Aunt perched in the main seat and several others clustered behind her.
“Hey!” The human suddenly shouted, a completely different tone in his voice. “She’s twitching!”
Sure enough First Sister’s antenna were beginning to moved and her body was uncurling from the tight, deathlike shape it had been in and First Aunt felt her lung expand for what felt like the first time in hours.  

Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 3rd book! 
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What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 300 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition until I run out of first run books.
AMAZON

Kaiju No. 8 Chapter 77 No Spoilers Review & Analysis Subversion and Fulfillment
Youtube
https://youtu.be/F2cYre4nyAQ
BitChute
https://www.bitchute.com/video/03n8KytGAZG4/
Odysee


Rumble
https://rumble.com/v2424jl-kaiju-no.-8-chapter-77-no-spoilers-review-and-analysis-subversion-and-fulfi.html
Veoh
https://www.veoh.com/watch/v142244668w3Tyz6Sz
HAW Books
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09NN2PM8D?binding=paperback&ref=dbs_dp_rwt_sb_pc_tpbk


#ShonenJump #KN8 #SciFi #KikoruShinomiya #KafkaHibino
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Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 3rd book! 
Amazon! 
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What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 300 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition until I run out of first run books.
AMAZON

 Humans are Weird – Too Much To Drink


Twistunder shuffled down the dry human corridor, his appendage ends dragging uncomfortably against the absorbent material that added so much unnecessary friction to every movement.
“This is an honor,” he reminded himself firmly, as an intense itch started spreading up one particular lagging appendage.
The corridor stretched before him in all of its very human length. The distance he had to cover from his assigned room, a cavernous space with a massive raised slab of a resting place, and his goal was well lit. Crystals crafted with artistic angles were set in the walls just above his dorsal surface. They cast a warm red light over the irritating surface. Twistunder was vaguely aware that the red color served some important, practical function to the humans during their nocturnal cycle, but he really couldn’t address the thoughts that wanted to branch off from there.
He was halfway to his goal when the floor gave a violent vibration followed by a series of thumps that indicated a human had floundered out of bed somewhere ahead of him. Though it was hard to tell thorough his desiccated appendages. Twistunder felt a rippled of unease at that which he couldn’t quite explain. The thumping resolved into the steady beat of feet and Human Friend Maribel threw open her door and staggered, quite literally staggered out of her room into the hall. She struck the far wall with a shoulder, paused to give a massive yawn and then used one arm to push off the wall.
Twitstunder, like most of his species, boasted very little predictive spatial reasoning, especially when it came to vectors at a distance. However the size of the giant mammal, the social implications of entering someone else’s assigned rest quarters, and the strict binary choice of direction the corridor presented narrowed down Human Friend Maribel’s vector choices quite effectively to one direction. It was with a drying feeling that Twistunder watched her pause in front of the watercloset door and then disappear into his destination. The door closed with a vibration that he felt even through the itchingly abrasive, cursedly absorbent, and frustratingly insulating floor covering.
Twistunder kept on moving but his raised appendages wavered as he pondered going to a water source on another floor. The stairs had not seemed impassible this morning when he, hydrated and rested, had insisted on scrambling up them himself rather than being carried. Then the friction offered by the floor covering had been welcome. However he knew that there was no way to calculate the time Human Friend Maribel would be in the watercloset against the effort he would have to make to reach another source of water. He kept on towards his original goal. By the time he reached the watercloset door his appendages were itching madly. He made an effort to scratch with his roughened gripping appendages but that did little good. Tempting moisture drifted out from under the door, he was so dehydrated that even the over sterile human water seemed divine. He stood, bracing himself against the less irritating surface of the wall and lifted as many appendages as he could off the floor. The moments stretched on, each seemingly as long as the red lit corridor. Until finally the door burst open and Human Friend Maribel stumbled out.
Twistunder felt himself scooped up on the dorsal surface of Human Friend Maribel’s foot, experienced a truly disorientating sensation of floating in the thin air, then slammed into the far wall. His appendages instinctively clung to the surface, but in their dehydrated state they had little purchase and he slid slowly down the surface. Human Friend Maribel meanwhile had produced a rather impressive sound, too short to be a scream, to high-pitched to be a shout, and certainly too incoherent to be a word. This was followed by a gasp and a few frantic breaths as she stared down at him.
“Twist?” she demanded. “Oh good heavens! I are you okay? What a stupid question I just kicked you into the-”
“Fine!” Twistunder said.
He cringed at how hollow and toneless the word was, but it was the best he could manage in his dehydrated state.
“Not injured!” he assured her as he shuffled towards the door.
What was the human word for needing water?
“Thirsty!” he rolled out.
“Oh!” Human Friend Maribel exclaimed, her eyes suddenly glowing brightly.
Before Twistunder could react she had bent down and scooped him up into her arms. In a moment he found himself deposited into the smooth coolness of the massive human bathing and soaking pool.
“Wow,” Human Friend Maribel commented. “You skin is all dry and stiff! Do you need warm water or cold water?”
Twistunder lifted himself up and hummed the instructions at the control panel. Instantly lovely warm water began to flow down the sides of the pool and he spread himself against the surface as he waited for the reservoir to fill.
“You got this,” Human Friend Maribel stated with relief as she bent her limbs into a rest position on the side of the tub.
She watched him without speaking for awhile as he swam in the water. Shortly the blessed relief that made the water delicious faded into the rather less pleasant awareness that it was sterile and tasteless. Twistunder swam to the surface to satisfy his curiosity.
“What are you doing about at this hour Human Friend Maribel?” He asked.
“I kinda think the opposite of what you are doing,” she said with a smile. “I drank too much water before bed and my internal organs woke me up yelling that I had to get here or they were going to hydrate my mattress for me.”
Twistunder felt an amused ripple at the irony but couldn’t quite manage a chuckle sound at the moment.
“Do you mind me asking what’s wrong with your personal water tank?” Human Friend Maribel asked glancing to the side with a frown, as if she could see into his room from this distance.
“My water was contaminated earlier in the day,” Twistunder stated. “Some crumbs from dinner fell in and the taste was strange so I drained my tank. I meant to refill it after dinner but I put it off do work on a report I am submitting. When I went to fill it I discovered the tap in my room wasn’t working.”
Human Friend Maribel gave a distressed sound.
“The leak in the north wall,” she muttered. “Had to shut those pipes off at the valve. Pa must not have gotten them fixed by now.”
“I suspected as much,” Twistunder said. “By then most of the house was asleep so I simply decided to make my way here and rehydrate.”
“Why didn’t you just ride your tank here in the first place?” Human Friend Maribel asked. “You could have filled it up and taken it back. Is the float base glitching?”
“I did not think of that until the length of the corridor set in,” Twistunder admitted. “Human Friend Jeb will be awake to repair the issue in a few hours and once I am fully hydrated I will be more than comfortable until then simply resting in my tank. Why did you not void your fluid storage organs before you entered your sleep state?”
Human Friend Maribel snorted at that.
“Fair enough,” she replied as she stood to her full height.
“That was not a rhetorical question,” Twistunder said hurriedly, sensing she was about to conclude the social interaction.
She blinked down at him and her face wrinkled thoughtfully.
“I just got distracted I guess,” she admitted, shrugging her shoulders up and down in a dismissive gesture. “Like you said, reports to do and then the bed was right there and I was proper tired. You sure I didn’t hurt you when I kicked you across the hall?”
“I am entirely uninjured,” he replied, wriggling in demonstration.
“You have fun hydrating then,” she said.
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What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 300 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
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QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition until I run out of first run books.
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