Kaiju No. 8 Chapter 86 No Spoilers Review & Analysis-Banger of a Shonen Chapter Takes You to the Bank
https://youtu.be/btWa6zCxfqA
#ShonenJump #KN8 #CaptainGenNarumi #DirectorGeneralIsaoShinomiya

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What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 300 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
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QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition until I run out of first run books.
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​ Humans are Weird – Trophy


Fifth Cousin shifted the stack of bandages in her arms and clicked in annoyance as this new Third Sister examined a container of mammalian muscle relaxants with a critical curl in her antennas. This base, set on a mild agricultural world claimed by the humans was meant to be an easy position for a few years of civil service before Fifth Cousin returned to her Father’s garden and either rooted herself there or was sent to a Sister’s hive. The fruit bearing trees that dominated in this region were not so dissimilar from the vines of their homeworld and the humans who had claimed the world were famously peaceful. This strange Third Sister with her brilliant reds and rough outer membrane seemed the most dangerous thing the on the planet, though Fifth Cousin kept that thought to herself.
“We need more,” the medical rated Third Sister announced, tossing the supposedly insufficient container into the cart she was pushing.
“Throw those on top,” she indicated the bandages with a flick of her antenna, “and go set the synthesizers to formulate more. It won’t be done by the time the brawl’s over but it should be done before they really start to feel it. Meet me on the quad when you are done setting it up.”
Fifth Cousin curled her antenna in confusion at the rolling human word Third Sister had used but dutifully followed orders. If this Third Sister was one of the type who needed to keep her underlings skittering about preforming pointless tasks it was simply her place to obey. She dropped the bandages and trotted down to the main medical ward with all its over-sized equipment that looked more like a mechanical bay than a medical ward. She quickly had the chemical synthesizer activated and entered the required formula. She noted with some surprise first the volume that the machine’s records showed had been formulated, and second the odd pattern. For most of the local year there was almost no change in the amount required by the humans on the base, then, once a year the production rate spiked. Fifth Cousin noted uneasily that a full year had passed since the last spike and she wondered what the Third Sister knew.
She walked out to the quad, the wide open space between the various buildings of the base, far too open to be comfortable for a Shatar. However in one corner the humans had planted and cultivated a decent canopy and Third Sister was perched on a raised couch in its center, munching on a bright orange fruit and watching the odd behavior of a few humans skulking around the edge of the quad. Third Sister gestured her over and Fifth Cousin trotted over and leapt up onto the couch. Third Sister handed her one of the fruits and gave her frill a comforting flare.
“You will be safe up here,” she said in a more agreeable tone than Fifth Cousin had yet heard.
“Safe from the brawl?” Fifth Cousin hazarded and Third Sister looked pleased at her question.
“Do you see those humans?” she asked, indicating the now clearly hiding forms. “Do notice anything interesting about them?”
“They are all from the next base over the mountains,” Fifth Cousin said as she sniped through the outer skin of the fruit with her mandibles.
It made a pleasant squish sound as she dug down to the juice.
“And you note that none of them are from this base,” Third Sister pointed out.
“Except for First Botanist in her office none of them were here this afternoon,” Fifth Cousin observed with a suddenly perplexed set to her antenna.
“First Botanist requires plausible deniability,” Third Sister explained, “she couldn’t participate. Though I suspect that is just part of the tradition more than it is to protect her from legal repercussions, the whole tangle seems to be condoned.”
Third Sister’s words muttered off into a long sulky bite at the fruit and Fifth Cousin stared at the odd Third Sister feeling just a little unease flick at the edges of her frill. Third Sister was clearly weaving a deep pattern for her, helping her to see something of the surrounding forest that was hiding in the patterns of the leaves, but so far she had no idea what it was. The sound of the rumbling engines of the long distance transports drifted over the afternoon wind and the hiding humans grew tense with excitement, easily detectable as there pheromones hovered in the air.
Third Botanist, an absolutely massive human male, came bounding through a gap in the buildings holding something over his head and whooping in excitement. Fifth Sister tilted her head to get a better angle on the thing. It looked like a taxidermy sample of some sort, one of the furrier of the local mammals perhaps, but if that was what it was it was damaged far beyond recognition. Behind the lead human ran a laughing line of smaller humans.
“They called it Fuzzykins when it was alive,” Third Sister stated watching the running human near the hiding humans. “It was their first attempt at taming the local wildlife and it was highly successful. The humans got quite attached to Fuzzykins. This was before my time here but I got the information from the old Grandmother who was here before me. There was a very peaceful, but earnest competition to see which of the two bases got to house Fuzzykins while he lived.”
She dipped her proboscis into the fruit and reached out a firm hand to grip Fifth Cousin’s shoulder.
“Do not panic,” she said in that low, powerful tone that single digit sisters had.
“Why would I-” Fifth Cousin began.
Then one of the hiding humans leapt out and flung his entire considerable mass against the running human. Fifth Cousin did not panic. It was nearly impossible with Third Cousin’s fingers all but paralyzing her in their grip. Almost unbelievably the running human didn’t fall at the blow and maintained his grip on the battered form of Fuzzykins. Two more humans leapt on him and his thick knee joints buckled under the weight. Now the following humans arrived and threw themselves on the writing pile of mammalian limbs.
“They are fighting?” Fifth Cousin asked, proud of how steady she kept her voice.
“Brawling,” Third Sister stated in a resigned tone, “this is a brawl.”
More and more humans, both the hidden ones and the arriving ones joined the pile in a confusion of attempts to pry individual humans out or pin them in place. Third Sister seemed to judge her calm enough and released her shoulder to resume her story.
“After Fuzzykins died the humans preserved his body,” she said. “The organs were harvested for study of course, all but the skin which they formed into the basic shape of the animal. However with Fuzzykins death the desire to house him grew in intensity. This resulted in multiple attempts, both successful and failed, to steal him from one base and keep him at the other. As such things happen it soon became a game and rules formed around it.”
“It only happens once a year,” Fifth Cousin observed and Third Sister gave her a proud look.
Out in the quad a human howled as his leg twisted much too far for that joint. Moments later the human was up and staggering away with something clutched under his arm.
“I do not pretend to understand the rules of the game,” Third Sister stated, “but as it is not only entirely voluntary, but there seems to be no coercion I have not felt the need to intervene. I simply prepare my medical supplies and wait.”
“This base is rated as having the lowest levels of inter-human aggression in the working group,” Fifth Cousin observed with a question in the tilt of her head.
“The current working theory is that they vent all of it in this activity,” Third Sister said as one of the smallest humans sprinted up with the grace of a predator, leapt into the air and dragged the runner carrying Fuzzykins to the ground. “Now finish up your fruit, they are going to run out of stamina soon and once the endorphins wear off they will start feeling the damage and we will need all the muscle relaxant you can decant from the synthesizer.”

 
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What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 300 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
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QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition until I run out of first run books.
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 Transformers: Earthspark Season 1 Episode 15 Warzone Full Spoilers Review & Analysis Remembrance
https://youtu.be/S6OcEGFgfeI
#Megatron #AllSpark #OptimusPrime #Starscream #Malto

Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 3rd book! 
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What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 300 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
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QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition until I run out of first run books.
AMAZON

 Friday Livestream 05/19/2023 - Two Books-One Story - Transformers Earthspark Announcement -Kaiju No 8
https://www.youtube.com/live/fLYy7t4HqEQ?feature=share
#FlyingSparks #DyingEmbers #TFES #KN8 #Writing

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What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 300 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
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QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition until I run out of first run books.
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 Humans are Weird – Putting it Off


Taps-a-lot gave a happy surge forward as he swam towards the exit portal of the campus flow system. His physics class had ran long, not that there was anything particularly difficult about the hydrodynamics questions in play, they had all been almost amusingly simple, but the Shatar professor had taken the time to explain why they were so very difficult to Shatar and human brains. The concept of a mind that literally processed hydrodynamics via a hydrodynamic system of internal fluids, having trouble with hydrodynamic physics problems had been perhaps a little too humorous to the gathered undulates and Taps-a-lot was afraid that they had shown their amused wriggles a bit too much. The effort of holding them in had left at least Taps-a-lot with a significant amount of not-unpleasant energy to burn after class. So when his leading appendages had a good grasp on the tunnel ridge in front of him he thrust down and tossed himself up into the current to vigorously swim.
Adding to his delighted mood, he had a social engagement arranged with Human Friend Ryan for the afternoon. They were simply going to ‘hang out’ in Ryan’s apartment and ‘chill’. Human Friend Ryan being a fairly gregarious sort, had long ago installed a lovely little hydration pool with a little ecosystem of plants and algae. Taps-a-lot had never yet had a chance to soak in it and he was looking forward to it with positive giddiness.
He soon found himself at the exit portal and eagerly pulled himself up onto the dry floor of the corridor of the human living quarters. He felt the texture of the floor thoughtfully and set off shuffling in the direction of Human Friend Ryan’s apartment. Finding the door marked with a stylized form of the human’s family name he reared up against the door and drummed his gripping appendages against it. An indistinct human shout came from the other side and the floor vibrated as Human Friend Ryan came to the door.
“Come on in!” Human Friend Ryan called out as the door slid open. “Pop into the pool if you like. I’m just about to take a shower.”
Taps-a-lot returned the audio greeting, but was instantly distracted by Human Friend Ryan’s appearance. The human had stripped off his outer layers of protective insulation and was only wearing a loose covering around his core. The shed layers were laying in a rather comfortable looking pile against the door that led to the human’s cleansing chamber. Taps-a-lot noted that the shed layers were rather coated in flaking layers of algae and mud, and wondered if that had something to do with the flickering colors of annoyance that speckled Human Friend Ryan’s skin. Taps-a-lot shuffled over to the pool that was set at a convenient height beside the human couch. Instead of dropping in however Taps-a-lot watched Human Friend Ryan curiously.
Despite his stated intention the human walked over to the pile of his discarded clothes, scooped them up, and then tossed them in a container holding other soiled garments. Then the human paused in the middle of the room and waked over to an active work terminal. He bent over it and did something, from the tone of the devices response he was sending a message. Then the human walked over to the pool and Taps-a-lot perked up in interest.
“Gotta dead head these regularly,” the human observed as his fingers removed several spend flowering branches from the plant.
That done the human paused and seemed to almost relax while standing there. His eyes ceased moving and Human Friend Ryan simply stood there, swaying minutely from side to side as humans did. Taps-a-lot noted with concern that the agitation display was increasing and with a startled realization he recognized it. That was the pattern that human colors displayed when they were avoiding something unpleasant. He had seen similar patterns on Human Friend Ryan when the human had been forced to walk through a particularly opaque and biota-rich chest-deep section of water.
“Human Friend Ryan!” Taps-a-lot burst out in audio tones, feeling an absent pride that he had managed to remember to add implications of surprise. “Do you not-” Taps-a-lot realized too late that he didn’t know the word to indicate the future tense of enjoy, “want to take a shower?”
Human Friend Ryan stiffened and then covered his face with one, wide-splayed hand and emitted a long, low sound that Taps-a-lot was almost certain contained no words.
“No, no,” Human Friend Ryan said. “I do – it is! I just-”
The human gave up on audio-speech and flung up his hands in a much more understandable gesture of, “It’s much too complex to explain when I am in this state of agitation.”
“Shower!” Human Friend Ryan announced with words.
“I will go that way to do the thing,” his appendages announced, as the agitation showing in his colors coalesced into a far calmer determination.
Whereupon the human followed his gestures and stalked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. The sound of the rapid, high-temperature water flow preferred by humans started and Taps-a-lot let his appendages idly examine the plants for more buds that needed dead-heading as he mulled over the strange behavior. So far as he knew the humans universally agreed that the high-temperature water-based cleansing they preferred was enjoyable. Human Friend Ryan often spoke of a ‘nice hot shower’ with what Taps-a-lot assumed were longing tones when they had been out recreating in the pools too long. The Undulate pondered if something, some unpleasant incident had occurred to alter the human’s feelings towards the action. However as he ran out of plant buds to examine and Human Friend Ryan lingered in the enforced privacy of his shower, Taps-a-lot decided he had to reject that idea. Soft stains of human music mingled with the flow of the water and there was no questioning the enjoyment they indicated. Then the singing stopped and only the steady flow of water continued. The humidity capacity of the small cleansing room was reached the Taps-a-lot heard the vents activate as they captured the airborne water droplets and cycled them back into the water system.
Taps-a-lot was almost concerned about Human Friend Ryan when the human staggered out of the bathroom wearing a fresh layer of the light core protecting clothes and tossed his dirty ones into the container with the rest of the layers. The human’s stripes were vibrant with contrast and the light they emitted was refracting through the lingering droplets of water that clung to him. His whole body was held in a more relaxed posture, radiating contentment, and just the slightest regret. Human Friend Ryan had clearly not wanted to leave the shower even though he had spent well past four times the recommend amount of time in it.
Taps-a-lot waited for his friend to drop his mass onto the couch before speaking the carefully considered question.
“Human Friend Ryan,” he began, “you do enjoy showers, don’t you?”
Human Friend Ryan turned his head towards the Undulate, his face wrinkled with surprise and his strips glowing with thought.
“One of the best parts of the day,” the human assured him. “Why do you ask?”
“You did not appear quite enthusiastic to begin the process,” Taps-a-lot observed.
Human Friend Ryan suddenly went utterly slack in the face and his colors gave that adorable ripple they did when you confronted a human with some little bit of trivia they didn’t understand. Then his mind seized on the question and his body positioned to say.
“I am considering your words,” head tilted to about a thirty degree angle relative to the main line of his core, lips and eyes slightly compressed.
“I do like showers,” Human Friend Ryan said slowly. “I really do, but I guess...sometimes, right before I take the shower…”
The human emitted a low sound, mostly breath with only a little voice that, while not a word, was supposed to indicate confusion over the topic under consideration.
“I don’t know,” the human admitted, “there is this weird sort of, activation energy required I guess? If I’m not to tired I don’t notice it, but if I’m hot and tired, and sticky, part of me just wants to sit here and not bother with a shower.”
“So when you need the cleansing the most,” Taps-a-lot observed slowly. “Your thoughts reject it.”
“Yeah,” Human Friend Ryan confirmed, “weird.”
His face creased into a brief frown of annoyance, then smoothed out. His whole body shifted in the way that meant, “that is a very perplexing matter but not one I wish to dedicate thought to.”
He reached under to the climate controlled storage areas, at convenient Undulate level under the couch and pulled out two canisters.
“Want one of those weird local juices?” Human Friend Ryan asked.  

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What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 300 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
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QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition until I run out of first run books.
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 Chapter 1Morning light filtered through the canopy of thick evergreen branches and fell flickering to the moss and lichens below. There was little sound in the deep wood and the silence was slowly seeping into the mind of the youth who fled through the trees. Selfish, greedy. The words beat harshly against the inside or his skull as the youth ran headlong down the dim trail. He knew there was no escaping them as the syllables kept a steady tempo with the soft smack of his sneakers on the thick blanket of fir needles, but the forest always seemed to have the power to quiet the voice at least.
Suddenly the youth burst out of the deep shade and caught himself on the branch of a fir trunk. Before him the forest fell down a granite cliff and spread out in grand panorama, rank upon rank of forested hills and snow clad mountains. Dense, temperate rain forest stretched out, filling the valleys with the patchwork of untouched trees and timberland in various states of logging and re-growth. He leaned back against the moss covered snag and panted heavily, letting the magnificence fill his senses, leaving no room in him for anything else. A small part of his mind whispered that something was wrong about the feel of the decaying tree against his back but he banished it along with the rest of the voices, everything was wrong, that was why he came out here.
Once the youth had caught his breath he stepped out into the hot sun and shook out his sweat damp auburn hair. Though the thatch was cropped short it still refused most attempts to tame it. Wide set eyes whose color almost reflected the forest below were placed over a large nose that somehow just managed to balance his features. A wide expressive mouth served as the base of the mug. His shoulders were wide enough to suggest he was no stranger to hard work and his rough hands confirmed this, despite the fact that his frame still wore the awkward lankiness of multiple growth spurts.
Shaking out his limbs the youth started running again. He reentered the dense forest where a fallen tree had cleared a path and darted nimbly along the trunk. Laser focus on the path ahead of his feet made his footing sure, and ensured he failed to notice the snag he had leaned against silently collapse in on itself, shedding moss and insects as it flowed slowly into a rounded lump on the forest floor.
The path slanted down and for all that gravity was on his side, the return journey was always harder; requiring more attention to keep from charging headlong into cracked boulders and ragged branches. The animal trail widened as it joined a groomed hiking path and he let himself speed up. Spotting a particular leaning maple, he cut to the side and transferred the raw speed of the path into long leaps through the thick undergrowth. Just where the trees ended he slammed to a stop against the side of a freshly painted, red wooden barn.
Sun thinned paint sill protected the old siding from the elements, allowing the grain of the wood to dig into rough palms. Drake leaned against the wall gasping for breath. When he had regained his composure he slid his fingers into a seam in the wall and pulled. A panel swung open and he reached into a square hole and pulled a worn but clean rag out of a pile of cloth. He dried his sweaty hands and face and then exchanged his running shoes for a pair of soft moccasins. That done he sealed the compartment and trotted around to a door set in the front of the barn.
The interior corridor of the barn stretched before him, dim with the morning light filtering down through high windows. Just ahead a bold red pickup sporting more than a few decades of rust sat on cinder blocks surrounded by various tools of repair. Two rows of stalls that had once housed mule teams had been framed into individual rooms. A few of the newly added doors had been decorated with childish drawings and dotted with stickers, but for the most part they, and the rough hardwood walls that surrounded them were covered in posters displaying galaxies, the mysterious interior workings of trees, and the human body with its various layers revealed.
The youth let his hand trail along the wall and flicked a few switches as he passed the cracked and stained control panel. Seemingly satisfied with the results he headed for the last door in the row. It opened to a wide expanse of tile that his sister called pink-puke and his cousin called rose. Against the far wall a shower head was set over cracked and pitted bear claw bathtub. The flimsy modern shower curtain that ringed the tub looked pitifully incapable of containing the powerful spray of hot water that gushed out of the shower head when the youth turned the brass handles, and a small stream ran across the tiles to a drain that was just off center in the floor. One quick scrub down later the youth was brushing his teeth in front of an antique mirror that blotched his reflection where it needed reslivering. Drake Awigwa McCarty spat into the chipped enamel of the sink and gave his head one final rub with the towel before he stepped out into the main corridor.
“Donny! Em! Wake up!” He bellowed into an overhead vent before tossing the towel through another door.
He had swapped his running clothes for only slightly dirty jeans and a clean white tee and padded in his bare feet down the central aisle. His rough fist came up to pound on two of the doors in order but no response came from within. Shrugging he strolled over to the pantry and grabbed an apple. Then he jumped up into the pickup and stretched out in the roomy cab. Taking a bite out of the apple he leaned an elbow on the horn. The blast of sound that filled the barn shook dust down from the rafters.
A door bearing a hand scrawled “Do Not Enter” sign burst open and a plump bundle of rage came shrieking out. Drake gave a smug grin and very deliberately stretched his arms out to lock the doors of the truck. The boy who had exploded from the bedroom rushed the battered rig and assaulted the faded red paint for a few moments with pounding fists. The youth inside simply let the display of temper expend itself. A second door opened and a sleepy face poked out.
“Em? Are those more restricted access words?” the blue eyed boy asked curiously rubbing one eye.
The still hissing child abandoned the pickup and stalked towards the bathroom and the youth in the truck let off the horn.
“Yes they are!” spat out Em. “So don’t you dare repeat them to your sister.”
Donny flinched at the venom but nodded, watching Em stalk to the door with a flourish. Their two faces were similar in shape and form, but their complexions offered a stark contrast. Donny, who now stepped out into the main area was slight and Celtic pink, with a head that was only a few days grown out from a severe cropping but was still clearly bright ginger. Em was heavy set and tended to nearly black hair and pasty white skin. Their eyes shared the same shade of blue, but Em’s flashed where Donny’s only watched..
“Where’s breakfast?” came a shout from the bathroom.
“Lunch is whatever you make it,” replied Drake as he let himself out of the truck.
The round dark head popped out of the bathroom with a pout.
“You are going to make a twelve year old and a nine year old get their own meals?” Em whined.
“Yes.” Drake replied in a flat tone.
“You really should be reported to child protective services. You know that?” Em snapped petulantly.
The dark head disappeared back into the washroom unknowing or uncaring of the sharp and worried glances passed between the two brothers. Donny walked nervously up to Drake and wrapped thin arms around his waist.
“Did he really mean that Drake?” Donny asked.
“No Donny, he was just joking,” Drake replied with a scowl at the bathroom door.
“But why would he joke about something like that?” Donny asked.
“Because little bro,” Drake said with a tight tone. “some people just don’t take anything seriously. Now go get yourself something to eat while Sir Primps-a-lot makes himself presentable.”
He gave the narrow shoulders a friendly smack and the child trotted off towards the stairs.
Drake stretched again and moved down the corridor to the large open space that served as a combination living room, dining room, rumpus room, work room, and whatever else they needed it for. What had once been the main parking area for farm equipment was now filled with leather couches that looked like a deranged naturalist had tried do document comparative rodent tooth size in their materials, an old pool table that stood on legs that had been sanded down in a futile effort to hide bite marks, a battered ping pong setup, and three small, tarp-covered objects with vaguely car like shapes. The various paraphernalia of childhood were scattered around; from stuffed animals on the worn couches to haphazard papier-mâché solar systems hanging from the rafters. Centered in the room was an ancient and creased cedar log, ten feet in diameter at the base where a tangle of gnarled roots gripped the concrete floor. The top of the pillar met and supported the central beam in the dusty rafters. Next to its base stood an antique handcrafted woodstove, dormant for the summer and a circle of mismatched overstuffed chairs.
Drake reached a battered old hardwood table and began sorting the piles of textbooks and papers that covered it. Sounds of running water and annoyed voices told the story of what was going on behind him but he gave no reaction. By the time the two younger children came out he was sitting in front of a thick algebra tome working away. He pointed mutely at two other piles he had made. Donny only nodded and sat but Em gave a groan and flopped into a chair.
“Schoolwork on a Sunday? Seriously?” Em nearly howled.
“Just the homework you didn’t get done during the week,” Drake replied without looking up. “I’m doing mine too.”
“It’s all homework,” Em pouted. “Why can’t I just do it tomorrow?”
“Never put off till tomorrow what you could get done today.” Drake said in a bland tone.
“What is that? Some kind of Proverb?” the boy sneered putting a fist on his hip.
“Nope,” Drake answered, pointing to the papers, “it’s the extra assignment your attitude just earned you; in your best handwriting, on calligraphy paper, tastefully illustrated, and due before sundown.”
“What?” Em squealed indignantly.
Drake quietly raised his eyes and locked gazes with his cousin. Em held for one defiant moment then snorted and stomped over to begin his work. The steady sound of scratching filled the room as the sun crawled across the skylights.



***



Miles away through the dense forest a tree was walking. A glossy, black crow eyed the apparition curiously and ruffled its feathers, preparing to set up the racket that would summon both its brothers and their kin in the area to alert to forest to the strangeness. Before it could however a soft music began to pulse out from the oddity. The waves of sound washed soothingly over the bird and the iridescent feathers settled back as the crow resumed its hunt for food. The music changed notes, announcing pleasure that the distraction had worked as the creature wearing branches continued its slow movements.


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​
What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 300 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition until I run out of first run books.
AMAZON

 Kaiju No. 8 - Kaiju No. 9s Love and Lies - Did He Even Understand that He Was Lying to Her
https://youtu.be/ljS0ysgA-34
#ShonenJump #KN8 #KN9 #Shinomiya #KN15

​Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 3rd book! 
Amazon! 
Barnes & Noble
Powell's Books
Google Play Books
Kobo By Rakuten
​
What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 300 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition until I run out of first run books.
AMAZON

 Humans are Weird – Peek a Boo


“Hu’y up Mummy!” a very small human voice wailed from the corridor. “We’e gonna be late!”
Quilx’tch stilled his paws over the report on fruit pies he was typing out and felt his fur prickle in interest.
A rolling human laugh interrupted the odd voice.
“They aren’t opening the gates for another hour Susie,” the deeper and more powerful adult voice responded.
“We need to get a good spot!” the first voice wailed. “I’m itty-bitty!”
“Uncle Bergy will hold you up,” the adult responded.
With a delighted start Quilx’tch leapt from his perch and darted to the door. He jumped out onto the platform outside his door and his speculation was confirmed. There, bundled up in so many layers of thermal insulation it was hardly recognizable as a human were it not for its size, was a child. Susie was a feminine name Quilx’tch mused as he trotted along the spiderwalk, so a girl child.
The little one – itty-bitty only by human standards – was dancing in place and staring in at one of the massive human doors which was partly open.
“Just let Mommy get her boots on,” came the mature human voice from within.
With a thrill of delight Quilx’tch recognized the voice of the new agricultural assistant, Human Friend Mary. They had met and socialized on several different occasions, giving Quilx’tch a perfect opportunity to introduce himself to her offspring. He came forward with more confidence and waved his primary appendages vigorously in the air.
“Hello small human!” he called out.
The little human, Susie, stopped dancing and turned her head from side to side, her eyes darting around.
“Up here!” Quilx’tch called out.
Her binocular eyes flicked up and her face spread into a broad grin. Instead of a formal human greeting she raised her insulated arms and waved them both back at him. \
“Hello T’isk Fwiend!” She called out. “Who’a you?”
“I am Trisk Friend Quilx’tch,” he said watching her motion with delight.
Where an adult human swayed slowly, like an old growth tree in a gentle wind, this young one darted about in an almost Trisk manner, her short legs tapping up and down on the ground rapidly even by human standards.
“I am Human Fwiend Susie!” the child declared bouncing in one place.
However at that moment Human Friend Mary came out and scooped up her daughter with a laugh at her antics. The adult’s eyes traced her daughters gaze in that disconcerting way that humans had of knowing where you were looking and she smiled at Quil’tch.
“Trisk Friend Quil’tch,” she dipped her chin at him in a human greeting. “Are you coming to watch the release?”
“What is the releases?” Quilx’tch asked, his fur bristling eagerly.
The human paused an almost polite four seconds as she adjusted her offspring on her hip.
“Oh that’s right,” she said. “This is the first time you have been here for this.”
Her child adjusted she held out an inviting hand.
“It’s worth seeing,” she said. “Want to perch on my hat?”
“Will there be other Trisk at this event?” Quilx’tch asked caution warring with interest.
That was usually a sure way to judge the safety.
Human Friend Mary bobbed her head with a smile.
“Oh yes,” she said. “The base’s lead nutritionist never misses it as its so tied to food production rituals.”
Quilx’tch gave an affirmative response and darted in to put on his insulating layers while Human Friend Susie chanted something about legs going up and down and in and out. Once he was warmly dressed he darted back out and scampered up the arm that Human Friend Mary offered. He settled on top of her very comfortable hat and peeped over the edge at Human Friend Susie. The tiny human flashed a grin at him and he noted with interest that she had only as many teeth showing as he had legs in the brief moment before she tucked her face against her mother’s side.
With a surge of delight Quilx’tch realized he knew this game. He had played it with his younger siblings when they were still small enough to be carried by their mother. He waited until she angled her head to grin up at him, and then quickly covered his primary eyes with his paws.
Human Friend Susie gave a squeal that he hopped rather than knew was one of equal delight, and the low chuckle from her mother confirmed it. Quilx’tch lowered his paws and Human Friend Susie clapped her insulated hands together. They continued the game until Human Friend Mary stopped walking and shifted her child around to a large fence.
“Here we are!” she called out. “Right on time!”
Quilx’tch angled around to continue the game with Human Friend Susie, and absently absorbed the situation. The fence was a temporary erection of the kind used to direct the movements of the large quadrupeds the humans were attempting to domesticate. It began at the side of the massive barns the humans were using to house the gurgles for the long winter. Despite the general warming trend of the spring, patches of snow still sat under every shadowy place. However the mass of what the humans called pasture land were clear and the new growth of groundcover was sending up its fibrous stalks already higher than three Trisk.
The humans around him grew hushed and attentive, indicating the advent of something, but Quilx’tch had just established a pattern with Human Friend Susie and was covering his primary eyes when the doors to the building rolled open with a rumble of damaged bearings and Human Friend Freddy emerged riding on the back of the largest gurgle. The crowd around him broke out into cheering and Human Friend Susie’s attention turned to the herd of gurgles as they lumbered out of the building after Human Friend Freddy and their leader.
Their four, forward facing eyes blinked slowly in the pale spring sun, and the tendrils that surrounded their short necks and stout tails wriggled out of their long winter fur. Quilx’tch watched the humans with far more interest than the beasts. As the gurgles eased their wide footpads onto the soft ground the humans’ cheer faded into expectant silence. The silence stretched out until the smallest gurgle finally processed the open ground and available food and lifted its legs in a delighted prance. The humans gave a collective cheer that broke into whoops and excited shuffling as the rest of the gurgle herd began to join the smaller one. Ragged cheering broke out as more and more of the gurgles began to frisk about, even the old matriarch carrying Human Friend Freddy began to bound a bit.
“You came out to share their delight,” Quilx’tch observed as he watched Human Friend Susie clapping her hands together and laughing.
His perch swayed a bit as Human Friend Mary mimicked the movement of the gurgles. Quilx’tch felt himself getting swept up in the weave of the community and allowed his own legs to dance up and down a bit. He felt when the wave of delight crested and the humans began to slowly disperse from the wave of the moment into smaller clusters, chatting and laughing, showing each other the holo clips they had captured in attempts to perverse the delight of the moment.
“Quixs!” Human Friend Susie, with her yet undeveloped attention span waved to get his attention.
She grinned up at him, and tucked her eyes back into her mother’s chest.
Quilx’tch readjusted his perch to oblige her in another game, sharing delight with domestic animals might be a seasonal celebration for humans, but he found sharing the delight of an itty-bitty human far more engaging.
​Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 3rd book! 
Amazon! 
Barnes & Noble
Powell's Books
Google Play Books
Kobo By Rakuten
​
What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 300 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition until I run out of first run books.
AMAZON

 Humans are Weird – Wriggles


“Is it really safe to be this close to the fringe of the canopy First Grandfather?” Fifteenth Aunt asked, her antenna flicking nervously towards where First Daughter and Human Second Cousin Betty were frolicking ahead of them.
“The sunlight is very weak this early in the morning,” First Grandfather said with an amused twitch of his psudo-frill. “I have applied a mineral radiation shield to First Daughter and Second Cousin Betty will not need the radiation shield for hours. Also, I do not think that First Daughter is young enough to bolt out from under the canopy.”
“What if she follows her human friend?” Fifteenth Aunt asked.
There was a sudden delighted gasp from the small human and the two mature Shatar turned their attention to where she had folded her stocky body down over the gnarled roots of a tree. First Daughter scampered up to her and her fill flushed with delighted fascination.
“What have you found little ones?” First Grandfather called out sensing Fifteenth Aunt’s growing trepidation.
“It’s green!” Second Cousin Betty announced, bouncing to her feet and pointing down at where First Daughter was gently prodding something with a stick.
“No it’s not!” First Daughter protested absently. “It’s all stripey, and tstk.”
“What’s tstk?” Second Cousin Betty demanded, clicking out the Shatar word very well.
First Grandfather walked up and clicked in approval, more to sooth Fifteenth Aunt’s worries than to communicate with the children. What had fascinated the little ones was a reproductive outgrowth of the forest’s fungal system. It was very strikingly colorful and he was not at all surprised that it had captivated their attention. To his eyes it was very tstk, gleaming with the colors of reproductive vigor. He strung a mental line to ask if humans had the proper eyes to see tstk.
The debate over the color was starting to grow a bit heated and he could tell that Fifteenth Aunt was about to interfere, but they were all distracted by a sharp, high pitched sound from the direction of the beach. Second Cousin Betty suddenly stiffened and her pheromone profile flushed with delight.
“Daddy!” she called out and bolted towards the sound.
First Daughter sprang to her feet and followed her.
“Second Cousin Betty!” First Grandfather snapped out. “Stop now!”
The little one staggered to a halt and then paused, bouncing on her toes, her face twitching with effort at restraining herself. First Daughter paused and titled her triangular head at him with a perplexed look.
“What is you father doing out so early this morning?” First Grandfather asked as his slower steps caught up with Second Cousin Betty. “His normal duties do not begin for nearly an hour.”
The child’s face wrinkled comically as she pondered this.
“He’s probably training Wriggles on the beach,” she said, her face lighting up.
“And how far down from here is the beach?” First Grandfather asked.
“It’s way down-oh!” Second Cousin Betty’s eyes widened as she recalled the steep, sandstone cliffs that dropped down abruptly from the forest to the beach.
Her expression fell into disappointment.
“We won’t be able to get down here,” she said sadly.
“Maybe we can wave to him from the edge of the cliff?” First Daughter suggested, scampering up and curling a sympathetic antenna down the side of Second Cousin Betty’s face.
“You might have run off the edge of the cliff!” burst out Fifteenth Aunt.
First Daughter’s frill stiffened in horrified shock and Second Cousin Betty’s face went slack. First Grandfather took a deep breath and silence Fifteenth Aunt with a stern glance.
“But you did not,” he said firmly. “You stopped when I told you too. Now, First Daughter, that is a very good idea. We will walk to the edge of the canopy and see what the solar radiation levels are this fine morning.”
The little ones set out carefully in the direction the sound had come from, following the twisting trails. Second Cousin Betty instinctively took the lead and was clearly being mindful not to let the branches of the lower brush they encountered as they neared the fringes of the canopy snap back and strike First Daughter. The reached the end of the natural shelter and the little ones bent over First Daughters wrist mounted solaromoter.
“It’s two!” Second Cousin Betty announced, grasping First Daughter’s arm and lifting it up to show the readout to First Grandfather.
“Then it is safe for you to leave the canopy,” he confirmed.
First Daughter gave a delighted click and the two little ones scampered forward.
“Don’t get too close!” Fifteenth Aunt called out.
“Let them be,” First Grandfather said with a gentle pat on her arm. “They will not come to harm.”
They stopped a respectful distance from the edge of the cliff and Second Cousin Betty started waving her head vigorously above her head.
“He is training Wriggles,” First Daughter confirmed when First Grandfather and Fifteenth Aunt came up to them.
Sure enough, the human First Father was out on the sand on the edge of the surf with the human hive’s newly imported seal snake. The creature was half again as long as the human, but only as thick as the lower section of the human’s leg. Wriggles lived up to his name as the creature shimmied across the sand towards Human First Father with a piece of driftwood in its mouth.
“Daddy!” Second Cousin Betty bellowed out, her hands cupped to her mouth to direct the sound.
“I think he is too far away to hear you,” First Daughter observed.
“Yeah,” Second Cousin Betty said, her broad shoulders drooping in disappointment.
First Grandfather was about to attempt to distract her when Fifteenth Aunt spoke up.
“Can you tell me what your First Father is doing?” she asked, her antenna poised in a very deliberate angel of curiosity.
First Grandfather gave her a look of approval.
“He’s teaching Wriggles to fetch,” Second Cousin Betty said, instantly perking up. “Seal-snakes are way friendly, but you gotta train them to come when you call or they can do stupid stuff!”
“Like little humans,” Fifteenth Aunt said with a dry click to her voice.
First Grandfather fought down both the urge to scold her, and the urge to chitter in amusement.
“Nu-uh,” Second Cousin Betty said, shaking her head with perfect aplomb, “little humans don’t do stupid things like little seal-snakes do.”
First Daughter tilted her head a bit skeptically and cast her gaze over at the cliff.
“Is that so?” Fifteenth Aunt asked.
“Sometimes,” Second Cousin Betty said, her voice dropping in tone as her face creased into what for a human was a very serious expression, “sometimes Wriggles bolts out the door and heads right for the beach! He’s supposed to be in like, coral and stuff where he can grab on. The waves on the sand would just-”
She waved her hands around with wordless exclamations, presumably in demonstration of what the waves would do to the limbless Wriggles. Suddenly her head snapped back toward the forest and her face lit with delight.
“There’s a gimungus one of those green things!” she exclaimed, bolting towards the trees, First Daughter following after her.

​Please go and leave a new rating and review on my 3rd book! 
Amazon! 
Barnes & Noble
Powell's Books
Google Play Books
Kobo By Rakuten
​
What does it mean when your human friend says “Watch This?”? Why does this simple phrase seem to terrify any alien that has first appendage experience with humans? #HFY #HumansAreWeird #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthIsADeathWorld #EarthIsSpaceAustralia


Hey! The books are moving well on Amazon and now have 300 reviews and ratings! If you bought the book and enjoyed it, it would really help me out if you leave a quick star rating on Amazon. A review would be great but just stars would be a huge boost *****!
​

QUICK NOTE: RE: everyone who asked. The book is avaliable in Amazon regions US-UK-DE-FR-ES-IT-NL-JP-BR-CA-MX-AU-IN. HOWEVER The above link only takes you to the US Amazon site. The one indicated by the .com ending. If it says "not avaliable in your country" that just means that you need to click over to your Amazon region.


Of course if you want a signed first edition you can email me at the email on my website and I can ship you a signed Author copy of the first edition until I run out of first run books.
AMAZON