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Humans are Weird - Obvious

1/27/2025

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Humans are Weird - Obvious

 “Hey, Billy’s making one of his pre-workout smoothies in the kitchen if you want to go watch.”
The statement was thrown up in his general direction as the adolescent human female strolled through the room, presumably on her way to the bathroom for her morning cleansing given that she was carrying a massive, even by human standards, towel over one shoulder. Quilx’tch paused over the notes he was taking on his datapad and considered if a response was required or polite. Long before he reached a conclusion the small human had swept out of the room and he gave an amused click as he tried not to be offended. That was just how humans were he supposed, dropping information in the same way the Survey Ranger Corps dropped supplies on outposts. Still, he would be interested in observing the young male preparing his smoothie. He closed out his data pad and stood, taking a moment to stretch all his legs down to his paws before following the spider walk around the massive human room to the kitchen door.
Faint odors from the breakfast of fish and fruit lingered in the high places of the kitchen, and Quilx’tch paused to enjoy it as he pushed the door open and padded lightly onto the kitchen spiderwalks. Billy, the second youngest human, was nearing his full height but was still several years away from the dense, muscular roundness that his father, and most human males Quilx’tch had observed displayed. This gave the young human a spindly, almost Shatar-like, look to his body, though he completely lacked the confident, graceful movements of the Shatar. Billy was mentally old enough, according to his family, to start taking his own health in paw to some degree, and was currently focused on getting enough protein to build his mammalian muscles out to a more mature shape. This meant eating extra between meals, and Quilx’tch had been told that a ‘protein smoothie’ was the ‘most edible’ form for this.
At the moment Billy was wearing only a loose pair of pants and humming to himself as he bustled around the kitchen. Darting over first to one bowl on the storage counter to select a local tree-fruit and take a slight nibble out of it as if to test the flavor, then setting the tree-fruit down on the wooden cutting surface, then darting over to select two knives from the knife rack, then starting as if remembering something and rushing over to the freezing unit to sift through the bags of out of season berries stored there. Quilx’tch let himself chitter in amusement and settled down to watch Billy at work. He would no doubt learn far more from simply observing the chaotic, and very inefficient movements of the human than by interrupting him to ask questions.
After a very scattered process Billy had succeed in remaining the seeds and protective layers from the fresh fruits, and had measured, with some spillage what Quilx’tch assumed was the appropriate amount of frozen berries each for optimal nutrient absorption. Then Billy pulled out a liquid storage container and set it beside the other ingredients. It was marked as being the milk of the smaller domestic mammal the humans had brought to this world. Billy, then got out the bladed food processor and began dumping all the ingredients in and set it whirling. Billy set his hands on either side of the appliance and began tapping his feet to some unheard rhythm as the process worked.
Quilx’tch mentally tallied up how much protein was in the ‘smoothie’ and gave a perplexed click. When Billy turned off the machine, but before the immature human emptied it into his drinking container Quilx’tch called out, loudly for Billy’s attention. The human jumped, nearly spilling the contents of the appliance and looked around frantically for a moment before spotting Quilx’tch’s waving paw.
“Oh hey Quick!” Billy called out with a wide grin. “Did’ja come to watch me make my smoothie?”
“Indeed I did,” Quilx’tch agreed stepping forward and resting his paws on the railing of the spider walk. “I have a question.”
Somewhat more than the polite six seconds for a response passed as the human stared up at him, giant eyes blinking slowly, and Quilx’tch realized Billy was waiting for him to ask the question.
“How much protein did you intend to put into that smootihe?” Quilx’tch asked, gesturing at the appliance.
“Uh,” Billy’s face wrinkled in that funny way that human skin could as he frowned first at the appliance, and then at a piece of paper that was attached to the wall. “Mom’s notes says I am going for, about fifty grams protein in the smoothie total, and that’s two servings.”
“And what ingredients had the protein?” Quilx’tch asked.
The boy wrinkled his face harder as he glanced over the, to be frank the chaotic mess he had made on the counter, considering the various fruits and milk.
“The nuts!” Billy exclaimed as he lunged for a lower drawer. “Fully forgot ‘em! Thank’s Quick!”
Quilx’tch watched in amusement as the human grabbed a bag of whole nuts, still in their shells, out of the drawer and then seemed to consider the grinding power of the appliance full of other ingredients before searching through another drawer for something, presumably a tool to remove the nuts from their shells. Quilx’tch called out the loud attention click again before the search could go on to long. Billy turned and gave a curious grunting sound, one hand still rooting around in the drawer, which Quilx’tch decided to interpret as a fully polite question.
“May I ask,” Quilx’tch began, “why you are using the whole, shelled nuts instead of the per-ground flour form?”
“The what?” Billy demanded, wrinkling his face again in confusion, even as his hand found a hammer.
“The nut flour,” Quilx’tch said, indicating the storage container large enough to hold a half-appendage's worth of him.
Billy followed his gesture with his eyes, looked at the storage container, in clear line of sight, on the food storage counter next to the fruit, clearly labeled as per-ground nut-flour. The humans face smoothed and he laughed.
“Forgot we had that!” he said, dropping the hammer back in the drawer and the bag of nuts on the counter.
Billy lightly lifted the massive container in one hand and began searching for, presumably an appropriate sized measuring container with the other. Quilx’tch rocked back on his hindlegs to observe more comfortably. Developing adolescent minds were fascinating in any species, but apparently such human minds simply edited out parts of the world around them, even if those parts were things that they were actively in need of. Quilx’tch reopened his data pad and began taking notes. He really should thank Billy’s sister for pointing him to the kitchen.  
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  • Home
    • Book 1 "Humans are Weird: I Have the Data"
    • Book 2 "Humans are Weird: We Took a Vote"
    • Book 3 "Humans are Weird: Let's Work It Out"
    • Book 4 "Humans are Weird: I Did the Math"
    • "Flying Sparks"
    • "Dying Embers"
    • "Hidden Fires"
    • Testimonials
  • The Aliens
    • Dying Embers
    • Humans Are Weird
    • Miscellaneous
    • Fan Art
  • Betty's Blog
    • Humans Are Weird
  • Store: Betty's Booty
  • About & Contact
    • Bibliography
    • Links