Humans are Weird - Mockery
Gudgeon shifted the small-loaf he was chewing to a more comfortable position against his hind-teeth and heaved himself up against the safety railing that was just a little too high. Even at his full, hind-paw, height, he was just able to stick his head through the observation gap that marked the halfway height of the rail. Below him spread out the semi-sterile space the local human population used to clean their clothes in the traditional water-soak method. Gilbert Raymond, a local grainer with a small clutch at home was muttering to himself as he scrambled around the floor on all fours.
Gudgeon paused his chewing to hear the human’s voice better.
“...mocking me. That must be it. No other solution.” The human was growling out in irritated tones as he flattened himself out to shove his already long, flat fore paws under one of the machines.
He twisted and contorted his body comically before giving a satisfied grunt and wriggling backwards. Gripped tightly between the tips of his long fingers was a single sock, so small that it was clearly for the protection of his youngest hatchling’s toes. The human glared at the sock for a long moment before heaving his long, bipedal body upright. Swaying ever so slightly as humans did Gilbert scowled at the cleansing machine and shook his fist at it as if threatening violence.
“Don’t think for one moment that I don’t know what is going on here!” He growled. “You just want to make a fool of me in front of my wife. You would have spit this thing out instantly if she were here yesterday!”
The human waved the small sock in his other hand.
“Well! I am on to you! There will be no more of this! You will produce the socks in pairs as I wash them or else…” The human paused and wrinkled his soft face as if considering what would be an effective threat to a cloth cleansing machine. “There will be consequences!” The human finally settled on, before gathering up the basket of clothes and carrying it out of the room.
Gudgeon watched the human leave and began slowly chewing the remains of his small-loaf again. He dropped down to all fours and walked slowly out of the space until he came to a wall mounted comm unit. He heaved himself up on his hind legs and activated the link to his friend in the local mechanics group.
“Gudgeon!” his friend greeted him with delight, after wiping no small amount of machine lubricant off of his face so he could see. “What drives you to call me this time of day?”
“The cloth cleansing machines the human’s use,” Gudgeon replied.
“Did they slip a gear?” his friend asked in a skeptical tone.
“No, I just have a question about them,” Gudgeon assured him. “What level of communication are their computing systems capable of?”
“Hardly none!” his friend grunted dismissively. “The whole systems from tub to rotates was designed to be as simple as possible. The seals they use to keep the water in have more joints than the instructional gears.”
“Your gassing me,” Gudgeon said.
“A tooth or two,” his friend admitted with a little gurgle of amusement. “But just by the tips. Those are very simple machines. Built to do one job and do it well.”
“So they are not capable of acting with malicious intent?” Gudgeon asked.
His friend gave a proper belch of laughter.
“They aren’t capable of intent, free the gear!” He said.
“Curious,” Gudgeon muttered.
“Have you been brewing human nonsense again?” his friend asked.
“Perhaps,” Gudgeon admitted with an amused grunt. “But such brews are always better shared.”
Gudgeon paused his chewing to hear the human’s voice better.
“...mocking me. That must be it. No other solution.” The human was growling out in irritated tones as he flattened himself out to shove his already long, flat fore paws under one of the machines.
He twisted and contorted his body comically before giving a satisfied grunt and wriggling backwards. Gripped tightly between the tips of his long fingers was a single sock, so small that it was clearly for the protection of his youngest hatchling’s toes. The human glared at the sock for a long moment before heaving his long, bipedal body upright. Swaying ever so slightly as humans did Gilbert scowled at the cleansing machine and shook his fist at it as if threatening violence.
“Don’t think for one moment that I don’t know what is going on here!” He growled. “You just want to make a fool of me in front of my wife. You would have spit this thing out instantly if she were here yesterday!”
The human waved the small sock in his other hand.
“Well! I am on to you! There will be no more of this! You will produce the socks in pairs as I wash them or else…” The human paused and wrinkled his soft face as if considering what would be an effective threat to a cloth cleansing machine. “There will be consequences!” The human finally settled on, before gathering up the basket of clothes and carrying it out of the room.
Gudgeon watched the human leave and began slowly chewing the remains of his small-loaf again. He dropped down to all fours and walked slowly out of the space until he came to a wall mounted comm unit. He heaved himself up on his hind legs and activated the link to his friend in the local mechanics group.
“Gudgeon!” his friend greeted him with delight, after wiping no small amount of machine lubricant off of his face so he could see. “What drives you to call me this time of day?”
“The cloth cleansing machines the human’s use,” Gudgeon replied.
“Did they slip a gear?” his friend asked in a skeptical tone.
“No, I just have a question about them,” Gudgeon assured him. “What level of communication are their computing systems capable of?”
“Hardly none!” his friend grunted dismissively. “The whole systems from tub to rotates was designed to be as simple as possible. The seals they use to keep the water in have more joints than the instructional gears.”
“Your gassing me,” Gudgeon said.
“A tooth or two,” his friend admitted with a little gurgle of amusement. “But just by the tips. Those are very simple machines. Built to do one job and do it well.”
“So they are not capable of acting with malicious intent?” Gudgeon asked.
His friend gave a proper belch of laughter.
“They aren’t capable of intent, free the gear!” He said.
“Curious,” Gudgeon muttered.
“Have you been brewing human nonsense again?” his friend asked.
“Perhaps,” Gudgeon admitted with an amused grunt. “But such brews are always better shared.”
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