Humans are Weird - Just a Baby
Hst’tk secured the final strap to the hover-platform and gave a satisfied click as the machine hummed to life and lifted off the ground.
“Are you sure about this?” asked his lab assistant.
“Quite!” Hst’tk assured the fluffy young thing. “The rules about using laboratory equipment are quite clear and I stayed well withing their bounds. The entire object was printed in the off hours and with my own personal materials. I was quite sure to keep the memory use and mechanical wear within stated levels.”
His lab assistant shuffled all six paws that were on the ground and fiddled with his datapad as he waited the polite six seconds.
“That is not quite what I meant,” the lab assistant finally articulated carefully. “The creatures you printed out, the number and placement of the legs, the size of the claws, the number and size of the eyes…” the fluffy young thing trailed off, his fur fluffed out in mild unease.
Hst’tk paused with one paw on the hover-platform and gave his directed attention to the lab assistant in surprise. Something was clearly bothering him. They waited while the lab assistant got his thought web in proper shape before speaking again.
“Is not this a gift for a human child?” the lab assistant asked, paws now almost dancing with unease.
“It is,” Hst’tk confirmed, completely at a loss for what pattern the assistant was weaving.
“Would not a human child find such a body shape, I think horrifying is the word,” the lab assistant finally blurted out.
Hst’tk rocked his weight back on his hind legs and let his chelicerae work silently as he pondered that.
“I had not considered,” he finally murmured. “The child’s mother assured me that the child had expressed an interest in such creatures…”
The lab assistant perked up and seemed eager to say something so Hst’tk ceased speaking.
“Humans have strong conceptions on what is the appropriate size for such creatures,” he pointed out.
“They do,” Hst’tk agreed. “I will show the gift first to the mother and let her decide if the child is old enough to deal with the fear response.”
The lab assistant visibly relaxed and Hst’tk set out across the university campus. The human residential structures were quite some distance from the printing labs and Hst’tk had to climb aboard the hover platform and ride it through the main traffic paths. Larger human and Shatar hover-platforms moved around him and the warm afternoon winds stirred his hairs comfortably. He exited the traffic patterns when he saw the soil-toned dome that was Human Friend Maud’s dwelling and rode the hover-platform to the window-ledge landing pad they had installed for him. He tapped one set of claws against the window and returned to the hover-platform to unsecure the package while he waited for Human Friend Maud to respond.
She opened the window with a cheerful greeting and lifted the box with casual ease in one gripping appendage when he gestured for her too. He followed her inside where she sat the box on the table.
“Lovely day for a hover,” she said. “Would you care for some tea?”
“I would!” Hst’tk agreed eagerly.
His hostess bustled about preparing the massive water heating unit and various dried herbs and by the time Hst’tk was comfortably settled she presented him with a large drinking-pipe of something that smelled of the flower humans called roses. She drank her own tea, probably the kind full of herbaceous pesticides meant specifically to prevent mammals from harvesting the leaves, and they rested in companionable silence for awhile.
“What was it you wanted to show me?” Maud finally asked.
Hst’tk took a sip of the tea and gestured at the container with a free hand.
“I have made a gift for May’s hatching day,” he explained.
Maud’s face lit up with delight.
“That was so sweet of you!” she exclaimed.
“However,” Hst’tk went on, “after conversation and consideration I am no longer convinced that it is quite appropriate for her age group and I would like to to examine it before I gift it to her.”
“Ah,” Maud bobbed her head up and down in a gesture of understanding and her smile changed to one of sympathy.
She reached for the container and stared blanking at the plain gray surface for several long moments. Hst’tk was wondering if she thought the container was the gift when she began to uncertainly twist at the edges of the container with her powerful hands. Hst’tk tried to keep the amusement out of his voice when he spoke.
“The container opens by pressing in the center of any of the longer sides.”
Maud shot him an amused look and did as he instructed revealing the simulated creature inside the container. The initial startled look on her face told her that their concerns had been right. Maud was clearly fighting to keep her reaction to the gift neutral but the ginger way she lifted the mock-creature from the box was indication enough that it was triggering some deep avoidance instinct. She rotated the item and flexed its primary gripping claws.
“This is,” she said slowly. “Excellent material choice. Firm enough to stand but soft enough to be comfortable for a toddler to clutch.”
There was a long pause as she rotated it and then paused to look at the main sensory patch on the top of the fairly flattened main body.
“That is a lot of eyes,” she said unease clear in her tone.
Hst’tk shook himself and set his six legs cheerfully.
“That was my lab assistant’s comment as well. I suppose the best think to do is melt this down and-”
“No,” Maud interrupted without looking at him, her eyes still locked on the mock-creature. “May likes these freaky little crab things. Spends hours looking at the ones in her tank. Would you mind giving her a chance to accept or reject it on sight?”
Hst’tk hesitated.
“From your reaction, as an adult,” he said slowly, “isn’t there a chance it might traumatize her?”
“Maybe,” Maud agreed as she set the mock-creature on a seat beside her, “but hey, a little emotional trauma is good for the soul at that age.”
Hst’tk wondered a bit about human parental philosophy but agreed to her proposal and Maud twisted around and roared out her daughter’s name. The sound of immature human footfalls came from another room and a much smaller version of Maud in a bright pink cloth covering came scampering into the room. Almost instantly the child’s eyes went from her mother to the mock-creature on the seat. May gasped and her face lit up with delight. Her vector instantly changed and she darted over to snatch up the mock creature. Hst’tk felt a moment of satisfaction, he had made it just about half her volume, so that given its small mass the human child had no problem lifting it. She held it out at arms’ length a moment and then pulled it close to her body, tucking it against the rolls of skin on her neck.
“Momma!” she called out. “See baby caby!”
Maud tightened her face in a way that meant an adult human was concealing a laugh and nodded before she could speak.
“Hst’tk made it for you,” Maud said. “What do you say?”
May’s eyes darted around the table looking for Hst’tk and then she waved one hand eagerly.
“Thank you Fwiend Hissy!” she called out, turning to scamper over to a wheeled toy before he could respond.
“I guess she likes it,” Maud said with a slightly wry laugh. “Good call Hst’tk.”
“I am pleased to have made something so satisfying for her,” he replied watching as she began wrapping the mock-creature in lengths of cloth. “What play behavior is she using it for?” he asked, “cooking?”
Maud gave a snort of laughter and took a sip of her tea.
“Swaddling,” she said. “Didn’t you hear her call that monstrosity a baby? She is, oh what do the anthropologists say? ‘expressing her nascent maternal instinct.”
Hst’tk paused in drinking his tea as he watched the child with growing curiosity.
“She is expressing nascent maternal instinct,” he said slowly, “on a mock-creature that you identified as a monstrosity.”
“Eh, kids,” Maud said with a shrug. “Who knows what they’ll be up to next.”
“Are you sure about this?” asked his lab assistant.
“Quite!” Hst’tk assured the fluffy young thing. “The rules about using laboratory equipment are quite clear and I stayed well withing their bounds. The entire object was printed in the off hours and with my own personal materials. I was quite sure to keep the memory use and mechanical wear within stated levels.”
His lab assistant shuffled all six paws that were on the ground and fiddled with his datapad as he waited the polite six seconds.
“That is not quite what I meant,” the lab assistant finally articulated carefully. “The creatures you printed out, the number and placement of the legs, the size of the claws, the number and size of the eyes…” the fluffy young thing trailed off, his fur fluffed out in mild unease.
Hst’tk paused with one paw on the hover-platform and gave his directed attention to the lab assistant in surprise. Something was clearly bothering him. They waited while the lab assistant got his thought web in proper shape before speaking again.
“Is not this a gift for a human child?” the lab assistant asked, paws now almost dancing with unease.
“It is,” Hst’tk confirmed, completely at a loss for what pattern the assistant was weaving.
“Would not a human child find such a body shape, I think horrifying is the word,” the lab assistant finally blurted out.
Hst’tk rocked his weight back on his hind legs and let his chelicerae work silently as he pondered that.
“I had not considered,” he finally murmured. “The child’s mother assured me that the child had expressed an interest in such creatures…”
The lab assistant perked up and seemed eager to say something so Hst’tk ceased speaking.
“Humans have strong conceptions on what is the appropriate size for such creatures,” he pointed out.
“They do,” Hst’tk agreed. “I will show the gift first to the mother and let her decide if the child is old enough to deal with the fear response.”
The lab assistant visibly relaxed and Hst’tk set out across the university campus. The human residential structures were quite some distance from the printing labs and Hst’tk had to climb aboard the hover platform and ride it through the main traffic paths. Larger human and Shatar hover-platforms moved around him and the warm afternoon winds stirred his hairs comfortably. He exited the traffic patterns when he saw the soil-toned dome that was Human Friend Maud’s dwelling and rode the hover-platform to the window-ledge landing pad they had installed for him. He tapped one set of claws against the window and returned to the hover-platform to unsecure the package while he waited for Human Friend Maud to respond.
She opened the window with a cheerful greeting and lifted the box with casual ease in one gripping appendage when he gestured for her too. He followed her inside where she sat the box on the table.
“Lovely day for a hover,” she said. “Would you care for some tea?”
“I would!” Hst’tk agreed eagerly.
His hostess bustled about preparing the massive water heating unit and various dried herbs and by the time Hst’tk was comfortably settled she presented him with a large drinking-pipe of something that smelled of the flower humans called roses. She drank her own tea, probably the kind full of herbaceous pesticides meant specifically to prevent mammals from harvesting the leaves, and they rested in companionable silence for awhile.
“What was it you wanted to show me?” Maud finally asked.
Hst’tk took a sip of the tea and gestured at the container with a free hand.
“I have made a gift for May’s hatching day,” he explained.
Maud’s face lit up with delight.
“That was so sweet of you!” she exclaimed.
“However,” Hst’tk went on, “after conversation and consideration I am no longer convinced that it is quite appropriate for her age group and I would like to to examine it before I gift it to her.”
“Ah,” Maud bobbed her head up and down in a gesture of understanding and her smile changed to one of sympathy.
She reached for the container and stared blanking at the plain gray surface for several long moments. Hst’tk was wondering if she thought the container was the gift when she began to uncertainly twist at the edges of the container with her powerful hands. Hst’tk tried to keep the amusement out of his voice when he spoke.
“The container opens by pressing in the center of any of the longer sides.”
Maud shot him an amused look and did as he instructed revealing the simulated creature inside the container. The initial startled look on her face told her that their concerns had been right. Maud was clearly fighting to keep her reaction to the gift neutral but the ginger way she lifted the mock-creature from the box was indication enough that it was triggering some deep avoidance instinct. She rotated the item and flexed its primary gripping claws.
“This is,” she said slowly. “Excellent material choice. Firm enough to stand but soft enough to be comfortable for a toddler to clutch.”
There was a long pause as she rotated it and then paused to look at the main sensory patch on the top of the fairly flattened main body.
“That is a lot of eyes,” she said unease clear in her tone.
Hst’tk shook himself and set his six legs cheerfully.
“That was my lab assistant’s comment as well. I suppose the best think to do is melt this down and-”
“No,” Maud interrupted without looking at him, her eyes still locked on the mock-creature. “May likes these freaky little crab things. Spends hours looking at the ones in her tank. Would you mind giving her a chance to accept or reject it on sight?”
Hst’tk hesitated.
“From your reaction, as an adult,” he said slowly, “isn’t there a chance it might traumatize her?”
“Maybe,” Maud agreed as she set the mock-creature on a seat beside her, “but hey, a little emotional trauma is good for the soul at that age.”
Hst’tk wondered a bit about human parental philosophy but agreed to her proposal and Maud twisted around and roared out her daughter’s name. The sound of immature human footfalls came from another room and a much smaller version of Maud in a bright pink cloth covering came scampering into the room. Almost instantly the child’s eyes went from her mother to the mock-creature on the seat. May gasped and her face lit up with delight. Her vector instantly changed and she darted over to snatch up the mock creature. Hst’tk felt a moment of satisfaction, he had made it just about half her volume, so that given its small mass the human child had no problem lifting it. She held it out at arms’ length a moment and then pulled it close to her body, tucking it against the rolls of skin on her neck.
“Momma!” she called out. “See baby caby!”
Maud tightened her face in a way that meant an adult human was concealing a laugh and nodded before she could speak.
“Hst’tk made it for you,” Maud said. “What do you say?”
May’s eyes darted around the table looking for Hst’tk and then she waved one hand eagerly.
“Thank you Fwiend Hissy!” she called out, turning to scamper over to a wheeled toy before he could respond.
“I guess she likes it,” Maud said with a slightly wry laugh. “Good call Hst’tk.”
“I am pleased to have made something so satisfying for her,” he replied watching as she began wrapping the mock-creature in lengths of cloth. “What play behavior is she using it for?” he asked, “cooking?”
Maud gave a snort of laughter and took a sip of her tea.
“Swaddling,” she said. “Didn’t you hear her call that monstrosity a baby? She is, oh what do the anthropologists say? ‘expressing her nascent maternal instinct.”
Hst’tk paused in drinking his tea as he watched the child with growing curiosity.
“She is expressing nascent maternal instinct,” he said slowly, “on a mock-creature that you identified as a monstrosity.”
“Eh, kids,” Maud said with a shrug. “Who knows what they’ll be up to next.”
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