Humans are Weird - Ingrown
Humans are Weird – Ingrown
“You know I can hear you,” Jose pointed out.
In the following pause he lifted his pack up onto the storage shelf that had been assigned to him. His big toe grazed the base of the shelf and he muttered an oath as the now familiar pain shot up his foot and into his leg.
“Why do you feel the need to tell us that?” Wing Commander Second Bite finally asked. “We are clearly discussing a topic you are interested in and were trying to include you by speaking in human audio tones. At no small amount of effort to my poor, tinny little vocal chords thank you very much.”
Jose grunted at that and pulled out a box of assorted electronic components, ties, and other such stuff he had been meaning to sort, clean, and stow all season. As he sat down at his workbench the conversation continued.
“There are times and seasons for all things,” a very rotted log that bulged up through the floor was saying. “Even if a growth is causing trouble, nay, even if the growth is causing discomfort, there is often a greater cost to removing it early, before it has had a chance to complete its task, or reach a useful bio-mass, than if you had waited and culled it at the true time.”
“And I am telling you that that is not how mammals work!” Second Bite snapped back. “We just don’t have the near infinite energy that you have access to on a bright-star world! Every gram we have to carry stress out our bodies and every calorie that goes to creating a flawed shield-form is a calorie that doesn’t go to mental load. Then there is just the problem of pain-”
“Surely you can ignore a signal once it has been determined to be irrelevant-” the log cut in.
“We cannot! Jose! Give be a pull up here!”
“Jose has been ignoring his own distress signals quite successfully for many weeks now.”
“Which is stupid as tossing chaff into the headwind!” Second Bite pointed out. “That is just him being human. A sane mammal wouldn’t ignore if a shield-form just started growing into their skin! There is literally nothing worse! It can lead to infection, crippling paws, even blindness!”
Jose gave a snort of laughter and pointed ran one hand through his hair. Second Bite gave a dismissive snort.
“Not all mammals are blessed with horns I suppose,” he admitted. “But the matter stands. We mammals, all depend on our dedicated biomass. We can’t just sacrifice a major chunk of it to convenience!”
“It would appear to be emergent that all you mammals can if Jose’s behavior is any indication in the matter. I was able to observe the appendage in question while he was wading in the north-stream yestereve-”
Jose burst into laughter and turned to look at the speaking log.
“Where did you learn to speak human basic Seethes?”
“That information is not relevant to this conversation, nor do I foresee it being relevant to any conversation I might have with you,” Seethes in the Turbid Waters responded coolly.
“Yeah, there is absolutely nothing suspicious about you,” Jose muttered as he turned back to his work.
“The appendage was swollen by nearly fifteen percent of its original volume-”
“And I keep telling and telling you!” Second Bite said, flinging up his wings in frustration. “You cannot use Jose for any metric of wise, healthy, or even normal human, let alone mammal behavior. Any normal human would have fixed the problem long before now.”
“Second Sister told me that if I tried to fix it again she was going to just amputate my toe, keep it in her sample freezer, and just have the Undulate medic reattach it when he got here.” Jose offered up.
For several long seconds Jose felt a funny tingling in his ears. Presumably Second Bite was processing that information at a frequency that was not ‘polite’ to use around humans, or other such hearing impaired species.
“I sincerely doubt that the good doctor would make such a decision unilaterally,” Seethes in the Turbid Waters finally spoke up. “Despite that it would no doubt handily solve all of your current problems.”
Jose bent nearly double with laughter this time and shook his head.
“My balance my good pile of duff, my balance. It would take me weeks, no, months to learn how to walk right again.”
“Second Sister was clearly being facetiousness!” Second Bite finally managed to say. “Unauthorized amputations are a serious, serious business. But this makes my point. Jose did try to solve his problem like a mammal. He is just bad at medical problem solving.”
“So he is waiting on time and tide to bring the situation to fruition,” Seethes in the Turbid Waters observed. “As is only wise.”
Second Bite flung up his wings in despair and fluttered over to where Jose was peeling the protective coating off of some pure copper wire.
“What did you try to fix your problem,” the Winged asked.
“Mostly just poking at it with something pointy to try and pull the nail out from where it was growing into my skin,” Jose said.
Second Bite tilted his head to the side as if waiting for more information and Jose just shrugged.
“Your ignorance is very educational,” Second Bite said and the speaking log gave a rumble of amusement.
Jose figured it must be some local joke he wasn’t privy to.
“Always glad to be a help,” he said.
“You really think that ignoring it to be the solution?” Second Bite asked.
Jose laughed.
“Ain’t much you can do for a hang-nail Little Bit,” he said, reaching up to give the Winged a fond scratch, and to offer his finger for a small bite of revenge for the nick-name if the Winged felt so inclined. “But I am not doing nothing. Second Sister has me doing a foot soak every night. That’s what I was doing in the creek where Seethes was spying on me apparently. Then I put some anti-microbial, skin healing stuff on the place. It takes down some of the pain and swelling. Beyond that, I just gotta wait for the medic with the right tools to get here.”
Second Bite gave a squeal of triumph and shot over to the speaking log again, leaving Jose’s offered finger bitten.
“You sound that!” Second Bite declared. “He is not leaving the ingrowth to time. He is actively treating it.”
“Chemical treatment is not the same as physical correction,” Seethes in the Turbid Waters stated with completely equanimity in the tone of the speaking log. “My meaning grows unaffected.”
Jose gave a chuckle and shook his head. Sure his toe pained him, but at least this little mundane annoyance was providing entertainment for the two most cantankerous sapients on the planet, and keeping them away from the rest of the population for now.
“You know I can hear you,” Jose pointed out.
In the following pause he lifted his pack up onto the storage shelf that had been assigned to him. His big toe grazed the base of the shelf and he muttered an oath as the now familiar pain shot up his foot and into his leg.
“Why do you feel the need to tell us that?” Wing Commander Second Bite finally asked. “We are clearly discussing a topic you are interested in and were trying to include you by speaking in human audio tones. At no small amount of effort to my poor, tinny little vocal chords thank you very much.”
Jose grunted at that and pulled out a box of assorted electronic components, ties, and other such stuff he had been meaning to sort, clean, and stow all season. As he sat down at his workbench the conversation continued.
“There are times and seasons for all things,” a very rotted log that bulged up through the floor was saying. “Even if a growth is causing trouble, nay, even if the growth is causing discomfort, there is often a greater cost to removing it early, before it has had a chance to complete its task, or reach a useful bio-mass, than if you had waited and culled it at the true time.”
“And I am telling you that that is not how mammals work!” Second Bite snapped back. “We just don’t have the near infinite energy that you have access to on a bright-star world! Every gram we have to carry stress out our bodies and every calorie that goes to creating a flawed shield-form is a calorie that doesn’t go to mental load. Then there is just the problem of pain-”
“Surely you can ignore a signal once it has been determined to be irrelevant-” the log cut in.
“We cannot! Jose! Give be a pull up here!”
“Jose has been ignoring his own distress signals quite successfully for many weeks now.”
“Which is stupid as tossing chaff into the headwind!” Second Bite pointed out. “That is just him being human. A sane mammal wouldn’t ignore if a shield-form just started growing into their skin! There is literally nothing worse! It can lead to infection, crippling paws, even blindness!”
Jose gave a snort of laughter and pointed ran one hand through his hair. Second Bite gave a dismissive snort.
“Not all mammals are blessed with horns I suppose,” he admitted. “But the matter stands. We mammals, all depend on our dedicated biomass. We can’t just sacrifice a major chunk of it to convenience!”
“It would appear to be emergent that all you mammals can if Jose’s behavior is any indication in the matter. I was able to observe the appendage in question while he was wading in the north-stream yestereve-”
Jose burst into laughter and turned to look at the speaking log.
“Where did you learn to speak human basic Seethes?”
“That information is not relevant to this conversation, nor do I foresee it being relevant to any conversation I might have with you,” Seethes in the Turbid Waters responded coolly.
“Yeah, there is absolutely nothing suspicious about you,” Jose muttered as he turned back to his work.
“The appendage was swollen by nearly fifteen percent of its original volume-”
“And I keep telling and telling you!” Second Bite said, flinging up his wings in frustration. “You cannot use Jose for any metric of wise, healthy, or even normal human, let alone mammal behavior. Any normal human would have fixed the problem long before now.”
“Second Sister told me that if I tried to fix it again she was going to just amputate my toe, keep it in her sample freezer, and just have the Undulate medic reattach it when he got here.” Jose offered up.
For several long seconds Jose felt a funny tingling in his ears. Presumably Second Bite was processing that information at a frequency that was not ‘polite’ to use around humans, or other such hearing impaired species.
“I sincerely doubt that the good doctor would make such a decision unilaterally,” Seethes in the Turbid Waters finally spoke up. “Despite that it would no doubt handily solve all of your current problems.”
Jose bent nearly double with laughter this time and shook his head.
“My balance my good pile of duff, my balance. It would take me weeks, no, months to learn how to walk right again.”
“Second Sister was clearly being facetiousness!” Second Bite finally managed to say. “Unauthorized amputations are a serious, serious business. But this makes my point. Jose did try to solve his problem like a mammal. He is just bad at medical problem solving.”
“So he is waiting on time and tide to bring the situation to fruition,” Seethes in the Turbid Waters observed. “As is only wise.”
Second Bite flung up his wings in despair and fluttered over to where Jose was peeling the protective coating off of some pure copper wire.
“What did you try to fix your problem,” the Winged asked.
“Mostly just poking at it with something pointy to try and pull the nail out from where it was growing into my skin,” Jose said.
Second Bite tilted his head to the side as if waiting for more information and Jose just shrugged.
“Your ignorance is very educational,” Second Bite said and the speaking log gave a rumble of amusement.
Jose figured it must be some local joke he wasn’t privy to.
“Always glad to be a help,” he said.
“You really think that ignoring it to be the solution?” Second Bite asked.
Jose laughed.
“Ain’t much you can do for a hang-nail Little Bit,” he said, reaching up to give the Winged a fond scratch, and to offer his finger for a small bite of revenge for the nick-name if the Winged felt so inclined. “But I am not doing nothing. Second Sister has me doing a foot soak every night. That’s what I was doing in the creek where Seethes was spying on me apparently. Then I put some anti-microbial, skin healing stuff on the place. It takes down some of the pain and swelling. Beyond that, I just gotta wait for the medic with the right tools to get here.”
Second Bite gave a squeal of triumph and shot over to the speaking log again, leaving Jose’s offered finger bitten.
“You sound that!” Second Bite declared. “He is not leaving the ingrowth to time. He is actively treating it.”
“Chemical treatment is not the same as physical correction,” Seethes in the Turbid Waters stated with completely equanimity in the tone of the speaking log. “My meaning grows unaffected.”
Jose gave a chuckle and shook his head. Sure his toe pained him, but at least this little mundane annoyance was providing entertainment for the two most cantankerous sapients on the planet, and keeping them away from the rest of the population for now.
RSS Feed
