Humans are Weird - Clean Up
First Sister trotted towards the human hive’s front porch clicking with eagerness. First Grandfather followed behind her emitting the occasional judgmental hiss as the passed the recently pruned fruit trees. He would no doubt have much to discuss with Human Second Father about the human hives tendency to ‘absolutely mutilate perfectly healthy trees’. First Sister shifted the heavy basket in her arms and plotted the quickest way to get out of the large social area the older human usually congregated in, and safely into Human Second Cousin Betty’s bedroom, where they could discuss their plans for the two hives’ joint outing the next rest day.
The muted sounds of the forest were suddenly interrupted by animalistic barking and First Sister tried not to let amusement color her frill, which was getting quite long enough to show her emotions, it had grown two fingers-breadth this harvest season alone, when First Grandfather started and skittered a bit closer to her at the sound.
“It is only Wriggles,” she reminded First Grandfather, as the silky golden head appeared from around the shed it slept in, all four eyes sparkling with curiosity. Then blinking slowly closed as the creature identified them and decided that they were not worth leaving the shed for. The round head dropped down to the ground and its soft grumbles followed them to the door where Human Second Mother had appeared smiling and waving at them.
“First Sister! First Grandfather! Come on in!”
They entered the human hive and First Sister placed the basket on the table where its contents could be sorted at leisure. As she had expected First Grandfather quickly wove the conversation that followed the greetings to how to properly prune back woody, fruit-bearing plants. Human Second Father listened with polite respect, asking the occasional question and First Sister was very relieved when Human Second Cousin Betty appeared out of a back room carrying a large container of some white liquid. The small human flashed her broad white teeth at First Sister in a friendly greeting and her odd, bipedal pace increased, presumably towards the main refrigeration unit. However First Sister had gotten used to judging the hasty Human Second Cousin Betty’s paces and she realized quickly that there was something wrong. With a yelp, the human’s body toppled forward, her arms flew out and caught the majority of her mass on the wooden floor with a thump that sounded painful and she did give a cry of distress, but it was hard to hear over the sound of the container clattering to the floor. The lid came off, spraying the white liquid all over the floor, and all over Human Second Cousin Betty.
First Sister stood frozen, unsure if she could help, as Human Second Mother strode briskly over to her fallen daughter and pulled her up. Inspecting her for injury while asking what hurt. Human Second Cousin Betty admitted her knees and wrist joints hurt a bit and Human Second Mother took her to a nearby sink to wash off what of the white liquid, some fat rich, organic compound by the look of the way it pooled on the floor, had stuck to her. First Sister caught a meaningful angle of First Grandfather’s antenna towards the spreading pool and perked up instantly. Human Second Father was still standing in the middle of the seating area, staring after his mate and daughter.
“Is this substance safe for me to touch?” First Sister asked, springing over to the closet that she knew held the cleaning supplies.
“What-” Human Second Father glanced over at her, blinked, and then laughed. “No, no!”
“It is not safe?” First Sister asked in surprise, exchanging concerned antenna tilts with First Grandfather.
“No, yes!” Human Second Father said with a dismissive wave of his hand as he walked towards the front door. “That’s just some goat’s milk Cousin Billy sent over from the north settlements. Perfectly safe. I think the north settlement hives are even bartering for some goats of their own. I meant don’t you bother cleaning that mess up. We have someone who wants to do that much worse than you do!”
First Grandfather was clearly confused by the phrasing, by the way his antenna curled and his head tilted. First Sister sympathized. Human Second Father moved to the door, carefully stepping around the spilled fluid and opened the door to thrust his head out. He gave a sharp whistle.
“Wriggles!” he called out. “Got a job for you! In here boy!”
Frantic barking followed his call and the sound of thick coils bounding up the front steps soon sounded, followed by Wriggles’s silky, golden head coming up and onto the porch. First the four eyes fixed on Human Second Father, who pointed to the slowly spreading puddle of white fluid.
“Get it boy!” the human called out.
Wriggles threw his body into three delighted spirals before darting at the puddle and attacking it’s edge with his broad mammalian tongue. First the dark maroon tongue reached out, touching down on the floor and spreading out over the fluid, then the rest of its fleshy mammal lips followed forming a sort of pressure-seal that allowed the creature to begin slurping up the fluid.
“He’ll have that up in minutes!” Human Second Father said with a chuckle as he bent to pick up the container and take it to the sink.
“I would have had it cleaned in minutes as well,” First Sister pointed out in some confusion to First Grandfather as they watched Wriggles eagerly work his way through the puddle.
“This cannot be within normal human hygienic standards,” First Grandfather pointed out, stress and fascination both obvious in his pheromones.
“I am not even sure it is within seal-snake hygienic standards,” First Sister agreed.
Human Second Mother led Human Second Cousin Betty back from the sink, and all signs of pain and discomfort had left the smaller human, replaced by signals First Sister had learned to interpret as guilt in a human.
“That was the only goat milk we’ll get this season,” Human Second Cousin Betty said with mournful look at the rapidly shrinking puddle.
“Well at least Wriggles is enjoying it,” Human Second Mother pointed out.
Human Second Cousin Betty looked at the seal-snake who was vigorously working at the puddle and her face crinkled in laughter.
“Now take First Sister to your bedroom and get started planing the picnic,” Human Second Mother said, giving her offspring a shove in that direction.
Human Second Cousin Betty instantly perked up and began pulling First Sister towards the other room, chattering about her plans. First Sister cast another glance back at Wriggles and exchanged a final befuddle look with First Grandfather. Perhaps Human Second Father would explain why it was considered both safe and amusing to let a half-domesticated omnivore slather its saliva all over the floor.
The muted sounds of the forest were suddenly interrupted by animalistic barking and First Sister tried not to let amusement color her frill, which was getting quite long enough to show her emotions, it had grown two fingers-breadth this harvest season alone, when First Grandfather started and skittered a bit closer to her at the sound.
“It is only Wriggles,” she reminded First Grandfather, as the silky golden head appeared from around the shed it slept in, all four eyes sparkling with curiosity. Then blinking slowly closed as the creature identified them and decided that they were not worth leaving the shed for. The round head dropped down to the ground and its soft grumbles followed them to the door where Human Second Mother had appeared smiling and waving at them.
“First Sister! First Grandfather! Come on in!”
They entered the human hive and First Sister placed the basket on the table where its contents could be sorted at leisure. As she had expected First Grandfather quickly wove the conversation that followed the greetings to how to properly prune back woody, fruit-bearing plants. Human Second Father listened with polite respect, asking the occasional question and First Sister was very relieved when Human Second Cousin Betty appeared out of a back room carrying a large container of some white liquid. The small human flashed her broad white teeth at First Sister in a friendly greeting and her odd, bipedal pace increased, presumably towards the main refrigeration unit. However First Sister had gotten used to judging the hasty Human Second Cousin Betty’s paces and she realized quickly that there was something wrong. With a yelp, the human’s body toppled forward, her arms flew out and caught the majority of her mass on the wooden floor with a thump that sounded painful and she did give a cry of distress, but it was hard to hear over the sound of the container clattering to the floor. The lid came off, spraying the white liquid all over the floor, and all over Human Second Cousin Betty.
First Sister stood frozen, unsure if she could help, as Human Second Mother strode briskly over to her fallen daughter and pulled her up. Inspecting her for injury while asking what hurt. Human Second Cousin Betty admitted her knees and wrist joints hurt a bit and Human Second Mother took her to a nearby sink to wash off what of the white liquid, some fat rich, organic compound by the look of the way it pooled on the floor, had stuck to her. First Sister caught a meaningful angle of First Grandfather’s antenna towards the spreading pool and perked up instantly. Human Second Father was still standing in the middle of the seating area, staring after his mate and daughter.
“Is this substance safe for me to touch?” First Sister asked, springing over to the closet that she knew held the cleaning supplies.
“What-” Human Second Father glanced over at her, blinked, and then laughed. “No, no!”
“It is not safe?” First Sister asked in surprise, exchanging concerned antenna tilts with First Grandfather.
“No, yes!” Human Second Father said with a dismissive wave of his hand as he walked towards the front door. “That’s just some goat’s milk Cousin Billy sent over from the north settlements. Perfectly safe. I think the north settlement hives are even bartering for some goats of their own. I meant don’t you bother cleaning that mess up. We have someone who wants to do that much worse than you do!”
First Grandfather was clearly confused by the phrasing, by the way his antenna curled and his head tilted. First Sister sympathized. Human Second Father moved to the door, carefully stepping around the spilled fluid and opened the door to thrust his head out. He gave a sharp whistle.
“Wriggles!” he called out. “Got a job for you! In here boy!”
Frantic barking followed his call and the sound of thick coils bounding up the front steps soon sounded, followed by Wriggles’s silky, golden head coming up and onto the porch. First the four eyes fixed on Human Second Father, who pointed to the slowly spreading puddle of white fluid.
“Get it boy!” the human called out.
Wriggles threw his body into three delighted spirals before darting at the puddle and attacking it’s edge with his broad mammalian tongue. First the dark maroon tongue reached out, touching down on the floor and spreading out over the fluid, then the rest of its fleshy mammal lips followed forming a sort of pressure-seal that allowed the creature to begin slurping up the fluid.
“He’ll have that up in minutes!” Human Second Father said with a chuckle as he bent to pick up the container and take it to the sink.
“I would have had it cleaned in minutes as well,” First Sister pointed out in some confusion to First Grandfather as they watched Wriggles eagerly work his way through the puddle.
“This cannot be within normal human hygienic standards,” First Grandfather pointed out, stress and fascination both obvious in his pheromones.
“I am not even sure it is within seal-snake hygienic standards,” First Sister agreed.
Human Second Mother led Human Second Cousin Betty back from the sink, and all signs of pain and discomfort had left the smaller human, replaced by signals First Sister had learned to interpret as guilt in a human.
“That was the only goat milk we’ll get this season,” Human Second Cousin Betty said with mournful look at the rapidly shrinking puddle.
“Well at least Wriggles is enjoying it,” Human Second Mother pointed out.
Human Second Cousin Betty looked at the seal-snake who was vigorously working at the puddle and her face crinkled in laughter.
“Now take First Sister to your bedroom and get started planing the picnic,” Human Second Mother said, giving her offspring a shove in that direction.
Human Second Cousin Betty instantly perked up and began pulling First Sister towards the other room, chattering about her plans. First Sister cast another glance back at Wriggles and exchanged a final befuddle look with First Grandfather. Perhaps Human Second Father would explain why it was considered both safe and amusing to let a half-domesticated omnivore slather its saliva all over the floor.
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