Humans are Weird - Don't Talk About It
The transport, a wheeled thing of a design that was outmoded when the colony was first settled but that still somehow functioned too well to be recycled, rattled and bumped over what was nominally called a road. The surface was torn and grooved by the passage of many of the large domestic beasts that the humans maintained. Despite the stabilizers built around the mobile work space Prodsandprods still had to work constantly to keep his samples from dissipating out of their containment units. It was with profound relief that he felt the water in the tank give one final slosh, a moment aborted by the fact that the space had been filled to maximum capacity, before settling into stillness. The water still wasn’t quite calm when the top rotated off and several inviting slaps sounded on the surface. ProdsandProds gave a few final touches to the sample growths to ensure they would stay in their respective places and swam eagerly to the surface of the water.
“Are you ready to gather more samples?” Prodsandprods asked as he scrambled out of the mobile work space.
Human Friend Philip turned his head and frowned at Prodsandprods causing the Undulate to hesitate. Normally the human would have his long, jointed appendages held up to assist Prodsandprods down while his exposed skin danced with the light of anticipation. However now Human Friend Philip’s arms were held tight to his sides while his gripping appendages shifted constantly, project the sense of unease even if there were no words in the movements.
“Human Friend Philip?” Prodsandprods asked, making sure to put concern into his voice.
The human turned not only his head but his entire body away from the transport and towards the wide section of the river they had arrived at.
“Not sure if we can get in there today Prods,” Human Friend Philip said. “I don’t like the way the river looks.”
Prodsandprods gave a hum of concern and lifted most of his mass out of the comforting mass of the work space. He took a moment to let the thin atmosphere dry his outer membrane until he could taste the specific moisture from the river. The moisture carried with it many organic chemicals, a complex mix that suggested flooding. From what he could absorb of the ambient light the features of the riverbed were far more obscured by the presence of suspended material than usual though the level of the river was consistent with its usual state when they took samples here.
“There appears to have been some flooding,” ProdsandProds observed as he started down the side of the work space on his own. “Why would that prevent us from taking samples? Is the flow force too great?”
Human Friend Philip glanced at the device attached to his wrist and shook his head.
“That’s not it,” he said. “I was more concerned about the turbidity. You can’t see anything in the water today.”
“What does visibility have to do with safety?” Prodsandprods asked as he lifted his sample kit from the carrying shelf and began trekking towards the dock.
Human Friend Philip gave him a perplexed look but followed with the uneasy movements of his gripping appendages increased.
“If I can’t see how do I know what’s down there?” he finally asked.
Prodsandprods hummed thoughtfully as they reached the end of the dock and he set out his tools.
“Yes,” he mused as he arranged the sampling pods he would need in his carry satchel. “Humans are very dependent on sight.” He finished his arrangements and lifted his lagging end to get Human Friend Philip’s attention. “You will just have to navigate by the feel of the current! You have that ability!”
“Barely!” Human Friend Philip said, his main appendages starting to move again, albeit with exasperation. “By the time I feel the current bulge of an approaching object it’s way too late for me to dodge. What if there are like, sharp wood spars in the water?”
“That is what the safety nets upstream are for, nothing that registers as a threat will make it past them,” Prodsandprods pointed out. “Just put on your facemask if you are concerned about possible pathogens and then you will have access to the lidar.”
“Yeah,” Human Friend Philip agreed, though his body still twitched with unease.
Prodsandprods slipped into the water and was busily taking samples when he heard the massive splash of the human entering the water. They worked around the sample grid they had laid out at the beginning of the season and Prodsandprods couldn’t help noticing that every so often Human Friend Philip would occasionally jerk and then thrash, before returning to his work. They finished the grid and ProdsandProds swam up to Human Friend Philip and carefully adjusted his speech for underwater communication.
“We have plenty of extra time and the thermal levels of the water and within the safety zones,” Prodsandprods said with an inviting play wriggle, as always glad that that translated to Human kinesthetics so well. However instead of responding to the invitation Human Friend Philip only thrashed again, this time kicking one leg wildly.
“What keeps touching me?” He demanded using his hands to gesture the words. “This one has my ankle and won’t let go!”
Prodsandprods drifted down and found what had tangled around the human’s ankle. It came off easily and Prodsandprods swam back up.
“I removed it from your leg,” he informed the human. “Shall we use the rest of our time for recreation?”
“What was it?” the human demanded.
“It was one of the waste clumps from the local domestic animals,” Prodsandprods informed him. “The flooding must have reached their grazing pastures upstream and the dried fecal matter is drifting-”
Human Friend Philip suddenly went very, very still, his massive body drifting in the slight current along the bank. Then the human’s limbs twitched violently, his main appendages formed the gesture for ‘no’ and possibly something meant to be vulgar, and Human Friend Philip struck out for the surface at full speed. By the time Prodsandprods caught up with him Human Friend Philip had reached the dock and was stripping off his protective suit.
“I am not swimming for fun when poop strings are grabbing my ankles Prods,” the human growled out before Prodsandprods could speak. “You and your freaky, impossible immune system have have fun with that. I am going to set up water purifier and the shower,” the human gulped took a deep breath, “and we will never speak of this again.”
Prodsandprods observed with concern that Human Friend Philips’s colors were tending towards illness and he climbed out, shaking the water off of his appendages.
“A sterile, hot shower does sound nice,” Prodsandprods agreed, wondering what had caused this reaction. Surely the microbe load in the water had not been enough to overwhelm the human’s protective equipment. There was of course the psychological factor…
“You touch the fecal matter of those domestic animals frequently,” Prodsandprods pointed out. “What was different in the situation where the current made it touch you?”
Human Friend Philips’s lights positively flushed with nausea and he physically staggered catching himself on the truck.
“We will not speak of this,” he breathed out, voice catching, before forcing himself upright and beginning the process of pulling out the proper tubes for the sterile shower.
Prodsandprods decided to wait until the human looked better before requesting more of an explanation of why touching dry fecal matter on land caused such massive difference in reaction from being touched by wet fecal matter in the water.
“Are you ready to gather more samples?” Prodsandprods asked as he scrambled out of the mobile work space.
Human Friend Philip turned his head and frowned at Prodsandprods causing the Undulate to hesitate. Normally the human would have his long, jointed appendages held up to assist Prodsandprods down while his exposed skin danced with the light of anticipation. However now Human Friend Philip’s arms were held tight to his sides while his gripping appendages shifted constantly, project the sense of unease even if there were no words in the movements.
“Human Friend Philip?” Prodsandprods asked, making sure to put concern into his voice.
The human turned not only his head but his entire body away from the transport and towards the wide section of the river they had arrived at.
“Not sure if we can get in there today Prods,” Human Friend Philip said. “I don’t like the way the river looks.”
Prodsandprods gave a hum of concern and lifted most of his mass out of the comforting mass of the work space. He took a moment to let the thin atmosphere dry his outer membrane until he could taste the specific moisture from the river. The moisture carried with it many organic chemicals, a complex mix that suggested flooding. From what he could absorb of the ambient light the features of the riverbed were far more obscured by the presence of suspended material than usual though the level of the river was consistent with its usual state when they took samples here.
“There appears to have been some flooding,” ProdsandProds observed as he started down the side of the work space on his own. “Why would that prevent us from taking samples? Is the flow force too great?”
Human Friend Philip glanced at the device attached to his wrist and shook his head.
“That’s not it,” he said. “I was more concerned about the turbidity. You can’t see anything in the water today.”
“What does visibility have to do with safety?” Prodsandprods asked as he lifted his sample kit from the carrying shelf and began trekking towards the dock.
Human Friend Philip gave him a perplexed look but followed with the uneasy movements of his gripping appendages increased.
“If I can’t see how do I know what’s down there?” he finally asked.
Prodsandprods hummed thoughtfully as they reached the end of the dock and he set out his tools.
“Yes,” he mused as he arranged the sampling pods he would need in his carry satchel. “Humans are very dependent on sight.” He finished his arrangements and lifted his lagging end to get Human Friend Philip’s attention. “You will just have to navigate by the feel of the current! You have that ability!”
“Barely!” Human Friend Philip said, his main appendages starting to move again, albeit with exasperation. “By the time I feel the current bulge of an approaching object it’s way too late for me to dodge. What if there are like, sharp wood spars in the water?”
“That is what the safety nets upstream are for, nothing that registers as a threat will make it past them,” Prodsandprods pointed out. “Just put on your facemask if you are concerned about possible pathogens and then you will have access to the lidar.”
“Yeah,” Human Friend Philip agreed, though his body still twitched with unease.
Prodsandprods slipped into the water and was busily taking samples when he heard the massive splash of the human entering the water. They worked around the sample grid they had laid out at the beginning of the season and Prodsandprods couldn’t help noticing that every so often Human Friend Philip would occasionally jerk and then thrash, before returning to his work. They finished the grid and ProdsandProds swam up to Human Friend Philip and carefully adjusted his speech for underwater communication.
“We have plenty of extra time and the thermal levels of the water and within the safety zones,” Prodsandprods said with an inviting play wriggle, as always glad that that translated to Human kinesthetics so well. However instead of responding to the invitation Human Friend Philip only thrashed again, this time kicking one leg wildly.
“What keeps touching me?” He demanded using his hands to gesture the words. “This one has my ankle and won’t let go!”
Prodsandprods drifted down and found what had tangled around the human’s ankle. It came off easily and Prodsandprods swam back up.
“I removed it from your leg,” he informed the human. “Shall we use the rest of our time for recreation?”
“What was it?” the human demanded.
“It was one of the waste clumps from the local domestic animals,” Prodsandprods informed him. “The flooding must have reached their grazing pastures upstream and the dried fecal matter is drifting-”
Human Friend Philip suddenly went very, very still, his massive body drifting in the slight current along the bank. Then the human’s limbs twitched violently, his main appendages formed the gesture for ‘no’ and possibly something meant to be vulgar, and Human Friend Philip struck out for the surface at full speed. By the time Prodsandprods caught up with him Human Friend Philip had reached the dock and was stripping off his protective suit.
“I am not swimming for fun when poop strings are grabbing my ankles Prods,” the human growled out before Prodsandprods could speak. “You and your freaky, impossible immune system have have fun with that. I am going to set up water purifier and the shower,” the human gulped took a deep breath, “and we will never speak of this again.”
Prodsandprods observed with concern that Human Friend Philips’s colors were tending towards illness and he climbed out, shaking the water off of his appendages.
“A sterile, hot shower does sound nice,” Prodsandprods agreed, wondering what had caused this reaction. Surely the microbe load in the water had not been enough to overwhelm the human’s protective equipment. There was of course the psychological factor…
“You touch the fecal matter of those domestic animals frequently,” Prodsandprods pointed out. “What was different in the situation where the current made it touch you?”
Human Friend Philips’s lights positively flushed with nausea and he physically staggered catching himself on the truck.
“We will not speak of this,” he breathed out, voice catching, before forcing himself upright and beginning the process of pulling out the proper tubes for the sterile shower.
Prodsandprods decided to wait until the human looked better before requesting more of an explanation of why touching dry fecal matter on land caused such massive difference in reaction from being touched by wet fecal matter in the water.
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